I thought this might be the best place to post this.
My DF's son is 10 years old and has Aspergers Sydrome. DF and i haven't been together very long and as DF's son, let's call him S, doesn't handle change very well, we are working up to him meeting me and my dc. I have just found out i'm pregnant - huge huge shock - and df and i have decided to keep the baby and try and make a go of it, with a view to df moving in with me sometime before the baby is born.
A little bit of background now. DF's ex, S's mum is... difficult, shall i say. When DF left last year, she told S that it was his fault that daddy didn't live with them anymore, and this as you can imagine, really caused a lot of hurt and upset to both S and df, and it's only in the last six weeks or so that things have been on a more even keel between them.
So, what i'm really wondering is how to handle the fact that df is going to be moving in and S is going to be a big brother?
I'm firmly of the opinion that df should tell S about the baby, not his mother, and give him plenty of reassurance that we want him in our lives - i'm planning on getting bunk beds so that S can eventually stay over - i really do want him to feel involved as part of our family. DF is worried that S's mum will try and tell him that because df has a new baby that means that df doesn't need S in his life - and i wouldn't put it past her, sadly.
I'm meeting S the day after tomorrow, just on an informal basis - we're going for a burger, and then in half term we are hoping to take my dc and S to a farm for the day.
Any thoughts or advice/ideas on how to handle this?
Thanks in advance.