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Toenails...anyone with sensory issues... please help!

15 replies

roundwindow · 19/05/2009 20:16

My poor poor little boy. I've just had to cut his toenails again and I swear this is the last time I put him through that particular trauma. He is patently in agony, as though it's his actual toes I'm cutting off. It's truly awful for him. But it's a double edged sword because with his sensitivity to sock seams/footwear in general, too long toenails just exacerbate the problem tenfold.

The way I've always handled it up until now is to just use brute force (awful I know) to get it done as quickly as possible, with lots of reassurance and cuddles before, during and afterwards. He's properly screaming and crying tears of acute distress all the way through. I always try to do it gently but he always pulls his feet away (a sort of reflex reaction) so holding his feet is the only way I can get anywhere near the toenails to cut them. But as he's getting bigger and stronger I'm not sure this is going to be possible any more (he's 4.11), and anyway I can't bear how distressing it is.

I've tried scissors/files/nail clippers but they all seem to be equally as torturous. He always recovers pretty quickly, and seems to understand that it has to be done but it's the utter terror of it for him at the time. There just has to be another way. Special numbing cream? Sedation?! I just can't wait until he's old enough to do it himself but he's quite a late developer in the motor skills department so wouldn't want to risk letting him loose with a pair of scissors for the time being!

If anyone has similar experiences and can let me know what worked for them I'd be so massively grateful.

OP posts:
5inthebed · 19/05/2009 20:20

My ds2 refuses to take hi socks off, he even wears them in the bath, so I know where you are coming from. I usually cut ds2's toenails when he is having a "good" day and will be more approachable, but I have been known to do it very late at night armed with a torch and the toenail clippers and doing them when he is fast asleep.

roundwindow · 19/05/2009 20:22

Wow, that's a thought!

OP posts:
magso · 19/05/2009 20:24

Does it reduce the trauma to cut them after a bath when they are soft? ( I used to do ds once he was fast asleep but now he does his own with help- he does the main bit I straighten them up.) I have a friend who nibbles her childs nails patiently one a day!

roundwindow · 19/05/2009 20:30

thanks for your replies.. yes, I always do them after the bath but it doesn't seem to reduce the agony. This doing it while he's asleep thing does look like a way forward... but I think his reflex reaction to pull away would probably be just as strong and maybe wake him up. He's obviously quite an extreme case

OP posts:
siblingrivalry · 19/05/2009 21:18

Roundwindow, my dd is 8 and we have the same problem -she jerks her feet away from me, too, while crying and screaming. She is also dyspraxic and it will be a long time before I let her loose with a pair of nail clippers
I have a lot of sympathy for you and wish I had some answers.
The only thing that gives a tiny bit of assistance is no give no advance warning (which goes against the grain) and just adopt a kind of 'got to get through it' approach.

Of course, I often don't practice what I preach, which is why dd's toenails sometimes resemble claws!
It does seem genuinely terrifying for her though, particularly cutting her nails on her big toes.
Good luck

Nyrrem · 19/05/2009 21:26

We recommend 5inthebed's approach. We do it every time with ds (4.5). But DON'T GET CAUGHT!

sphil · 19/05/2009 21:36

DS2 used to be like this but has got a bit less sensitive in the last year or so. He now puts up with it, moaning a bit, rather than yelling his head off. He still does the jerking his feet away though - I agree that it's a reflex.

Some things I've tried - deep pressure to the feet and toes before cutting. Counting down from 5 to 1 seems to calm him. Doing them after bath as others have said.

roundwindow · 19/05/2009 22:18

Thanks so much, definitely some things to try.

OP posts:
bullet123 · 19/05/2009 22:23

Ds1 hates getting his toenails cut as well. I don't know if it's a sensory issue with him, or whether he is just scared. I do lots of praising and cuddles and if he's really too upset I leave it and cut them when he's asleep.

alwayslearning · 20/05/2009 00:29

This really sounds like a strong sensory issue. Trying to habituate the feet prior to cutting the toenails could help such as the deep pressue or maybe even encouraging him to be bare foot for a good couple of hours (as long as he can handle) prior to cutting.

Another suggestion is reading hima sensory story. you can google "sensory story toenail cutting" but a story like this would kind of go along the lines of

" (insert your child's name) don't like my nails being cut.

Sometimes it feels funny and sometimes it hurts

But I know that everyone has to cut their toenails or else they will grow tooooo long.

Before mommy cuts my toenails I will remind myself that it is only going to be for a short time and then it will all be better.

I could even try listen to music or read my book while mommy does it.

Mommy will be very happy that I have been brave

But even better. I will be happy as my nails now won't grow toooooo long "

  • you could use music or something to try distract him.
  • also try using bigger and more curve clippers as they may be less painful and take less time to cut his toenails.
  • you could use an egg timer to show him that you will be done before it's finished - that way he knows how long it's going to go on and that there is an end to it.

I hope this helps. I am actually a paediatric occupational therapist who has studied a lot of sensory integration/sensory processing. I hope you don't mind me being on here but I REALLY wanted to get into the minds of the mom's and find out what their issues / strategies are in dealing their children with special needs. Please let me know if you do mind me being on as I do understand this is really for mom's.

Hope it helps.

roundwindow · 20/05/2009 14:10

no, alwayslearning, I can't speak for anyone else I don't mind you being on here at all and am extemely grateful to you for taking the time to come and offer your professional expertise Thank you so much, and to everyone else, lots of strategies to try.

I love mumsnet

OP posts:
sphil · 20/05/2009 20:15

Oh no, please stick around! It would be great to have a sensory integration expert on the board

alwayslearning · 20/05/2009 20:49

Thanks sphil,

Great to feel welcomed. I promise to always help as much as I can with as objective and valuable ideas as I can think of or have learnt along the way.

But as my name suggests and regardless of my years experience, degree and advanced knowledge in Sensory Integration - we are all always learning!! So any tips and advice from you guys can help me help others too.

troutpout · 20/05/2009 21:11

oh blimey...i hate nails...blardy things! and i swear ds's grow 10 times faster than any nt childs!
It is probably one of ds's most difficult sensory things
Errrm...He is a teensy bit better now that he is older (does that help? ).He will cut them himself now occasionally...(only if i threaten to cut them though)

what are his obsessions? Ds could sometimes be distracted if i gave him a science book to read...Perhaps you could try that tactic?

Also ...a really firm grip on the foot seems less excutiating than a light touch . Holding your hand over the rest of the toes so only the one nail being cut was exposed ,(making sure the clippers didn't touch any of the others) seemed to help also.

Oh you have my sympathy...it's a nightmare isn't it

troutpout · 20/05/2009 21:15

always learning..welcome
That story reads very much like a social story (which many of us use with our kids)
Sounds good

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