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Aspergers as adults - Article from New York Times

3 replies

StillUnderThirthy · 19/05/2009 17:15

www.nytimes.com/2009/05/17/fashion/17love.html?ref=fashion

I came across this article and I thought it might be of interest to some people.

OP posts:
bullet123 · 19/05/2009 20:41

Overall article was ok, but I have 3 issues with it:

1: That he was "diagnosed" using an online questionnaire. Now don't get me wrong, those online questionnaires are very useful for seeing if you might be on the spectrum (I've done them myself) but they are not a proper diagnosis. A person can have loads of quirks for a start and still not be on the spectrum. So giving the impression that you can know for definite based on an internet checklist is erroneous.

2: The suggestion that all changes needed to be done by him and that no compromise could be given. DH agrees to me emailing him about something now if I need to grumble or explain how I feel about something and I can't get the words out. He doesn't stand over me waiting for me to speak as he knows it's often very difficult for me to do so.

3: Linked to number 2, the suggestion that he just needed some time to say what was bothering him and then all is ok. I have been with DH now for 15 years and I still find it extremely hard to say when I need something or when something is upsetting me. And this doesn't just apply to "oh I'm pissed off because DH has done x or y", it applies to things like not being able to tell the receptionist that I wanted to leave the building after an assessment for Ds2 a couple of weeks back. It refers to waiting ages for someone to move out of my way in the supermarket because often I can't get the words "excuse me please" out of the way. Now don't get me wrong, I can be very verbal, especially if you get me onto a topic I know, but initiating talking (and bear in mind when I do initiate I'll have been trying to get the words out for anything from a couple of minutes to several hours) and expressing myself is very hard.

TotalChaos · 19/05/2009 21:41

thanks for linking. bullet - it was a bit unclear though whether it was a proper screening tool she was using rather than an internet questionnaire (that Wired/AQ test one is definitely not scored out of 200 so definitely not that one ). I do agree with your point 2 - I think he was making a little too much effort, I felt for him feeling so self-conscious of what he saying in the shower!

bullet123 · 19/05/2009 23:06

There is an internet one that goes up to 200. I can't remember which one but it has been linked to on this site before.

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