To Tidy....Or Not To Tidy....That Is The Question?

[MsF]

Aspergers Teenager Room.... (but also ds2 and 3 really!!!)

that says it all really.

HE actually WANTS me to tidy it

HE hates the disorganised muddles

And i AM happy to tidy it...

but am aware that i really OUGHT to be encouraging him to develop LIFE SKILLS....

However...this just feels one battle not worth fighting....If BOTH of us are HAPPY.

So...i'd love to hear from parents who HAVE given in...who DO tidy their SN childrens muddles...as to be honest I have to do it for all 3.

I must stress.... I am happy...I see it as something i CAN do to make their lifes better.

So i guess...i am looking for others who do what i WANT to do...to give me permission to put up shelves...with organzised storage boxes...laminated 'reminder' lists to help my ds's learn

As...i am aware that most parents could well be throwing their arms up in despair.

Am i silly to see this an extension of my 'DLA' duties... as my sons' carer???

do it. as it's going to be easier to teach them the organisation skill once you are on top of it, and can see one or two items to prompt them to put away at the time...

I still do it (when he lets me)
I am very jealous that you have a son who wants you to tidy it actually.
Mine gets distressed if i tidy up any of his errrm 'projects' ...so i tend to leave it and do what i can around his 'things in progress' most of the time.
Ds can manage one tidying instruction at a time...if i write it down (with flashing lights around it lol)..but even then mostly gets distracted by all his things. This takes too much time and i have bigger fish to fry tbh. 3 weeks out of 4 i just errm shut the door....and then i usually spend one afternoon making a stab at it.

Oh and the thought of the hoover being near his little fiddly electronic stuff or lego stuff just makes him want to leave the room anyway

He wants you to tidy it. You want to tidy it. And you get an excuse to do some laminating too.

I'd do it.

Oh yeah..You don't need an excuse to laminate imo. Get it warming up girl!

silly me not to notice your real motivation sneaked in towards the end - the LAMINATION!

And storage boxes got a mention too. Some things never change eh, MrsF?

so maybe..before halterm (ie by friday.....!) i get it sorted...then spend the whole of half term 'educating' them????

posted in behaviour and it seems RL does expect children of 10+ to be the ones tidying!

Trouble is...ds1 (15) will use a whole spray can of mr sheen....he will get carried away!!!

Then there is the 'control freak' within me...the OCD bit f me that has to either DO EVERYTHING CORRECT.... or NOT AT ALL.

I tidy up after both of mine...but they are only small! However, I am starting to get DD to help me lay the table and things like that. However, I'm tired of being told by well meaning professionals that she ought to helping me load the dishwasher. That's a sure way to get all my plates smashed!!

LOL!

When ds was still in school (he's home edded now) we used to have a half hour on a Saturday morning tidying his room together, putting everything away in labelled boxes (another organised lamination freak here ). Once there's a system in place it's a lot easier to tackle. I give him a visual checklist of individual jobs that comprise 'tidy your room' eg bed made, floor clear, clothes away etc and we work on it together for a small reward.

Now he's at home every day we have a five minute tidy every morning. It means less precious time out of his day and he's happier to do something he doesn't like for a short time than spending longer on it, so it's more likely to get done.

my autistic son loves tidying up he always puts his dishes etc in the sink after a meal and will put them in the dishwasher if asked and he puts his clothes in a drawer at night when he undresses to be honest it is the school which has taught him to do that more than me but he loves hoovering etc at home and is great as he gets every bit of fluff and goes right into the corners lol ...on the flip side he loves ripping up magazines, letters etc into tiny pieces but is more than happy to put the pieces into bags and bin them when i discover them stuffed down the back of his chest of drawers!!! to be honest he is so good at tidying up people could abuse that and make him a servant another worry for the future when we kick the bucket...sigh

me, MrsF, and streaky.. were separated at birth!

DS2&3 share room, with laminated labels on boxes - including clothing.

but they hate having a messy room and love me to tidy it. HOwever i HATE tidying it.

I am but one woman in house full of males, i really do feel like im swimming up tide most days. And every one of them is a hoarder.

I got feed up with having everything chucked all over the floor when it hadn't been put away in the exact place. So picked a fight and told him if he wanted it perfect he had to do it himself and made him do it one instruction at a time. it took 8 hours and now once I have tidied it stays tidy. He has sensibly decided that over perfection he would prefer me to tidy. But if he chucks stuff in a temper he does it himself (NO matter HOW long it takes) But we have an agreement about where things goes and adjustments are discussed first. currently removing grown out of toys. it took 3 hours of discussions to get to the point of permission.

Would recommend a compromise get ds to tidy one item/aspect ande then do rest (eg take washing out) still teaching life skill but also keeping balance. Could then work up to two etc

lolaandned - could I borrow your dc -trying to spring clean at mo and need so help and motivation

I got feed up with having everything chucked all over the floor when it hadn't been put away in the exact place. So picked a fight and told him if he wanted it perfect he had to do it himself and made him do it one instruction at a time. it took 8 hours and now once I have tidied it stays tidy. He has sensibly decided that over perfection he would prefer me to tidy. But if he chucks stuff in a temper he does it himself (NO matter HOW long it takes) But we have an agreement about where things goes and adjustments are discussed first. currently removing grown out of toys. it took 3 hours of discussions to get to the point of permission.

Would recommend a compromise get ds to tidy one item/aspect ande then do rest (eg take washing out) still teaching life skill but also keeping balance. Could then work up to two etc

lolaandned - could I borrow your dc -trying to spring clean at mo and need so help and motivation

okay freeky computer moment - only suppose to post once and not sure what happened.