Can I please take your advice

[whatdoyouthinkthink]

Today I was with DS (14 months) in a giant soft play cafe, he was in the section for the under 4's.

There was a girl - I would say 10, 11 in there, with clear profound special needs, development difficulties I thought. She tried to pick DS up like he was a doll and almost squashed my friends baby, I know it wasnt deliberate, but was still nerve wracking to be around. She was in there the whole time I was there, with her carer occassionally popping over to show her how to press a button on a ball hover thing.

I have no issues with DS being around children with special needs, my best friend has a child with cerebal palsy, I rang her and she told me that under no circumstances would she have left her DS in there, just in case he accidetally landed on one of the babies.

On my way out I spoke to the supervisor, I suggested that I didnt think this girl was with her mother, but with a carer, as I couldnt imagine her mother allowing this. I said that regardless of the circumstances, a child of that size should not be jumping around the babies in a designated area and the staff there should have sensitively tackled it.

I wasnt sure how to handle the situation and I wanted to take your advice so I handle it better next time, any other child of that size I would have just asked them to go into the bigger kids areas, I did debate speaking to the carer, but was nervous of a scene and to be honest I felt like a total bitch, regardless of how inappropriate it was for her to be in there.

Hmmm, I think it's a difficult one.
Putting myself in your shoes, I totally see what you mean, I would be upset if a big child would "almost squash" my DS. However, since he is little I never leave him alone anyway and it just wouldn't happen because I would pick him up if I saw any risk.

From the carers point of view, if she is paid to be a carer then yes she should have been with the little girl at all times. Maybe she just needed a break? As a mum myself, I can tell you that my DS is now 4 and I am getting very tired of having to follow him around everytime we go out. It is DRAINING, and if I still have to follow him around at all times by the time he is 10 or 11 . I look forward to the day when I can go to one of these soft play areas and can just sit to drink a coffee while DS goes off to play. We all need a break sometimes.

DS has tried to pick up a baby once while on a school trip. I was horrified that the teachers weren't watching him and I would never have left him for a minute if I thought he was going to harm someone. This girl may have been in the toddler section because she couldn't access the older kids bit, which is fair enough, but IMO she should have been watched like a hawk whether it's the carer or the mum.

The real shame is that there are so few places our kids can go where us parents can let them run free.

dd2 is only 5 but because of her issues with muscle tone she can have a bit of an unintentional death grip (!) which isn't great for babies or (eek) small farmyard animals lol. she also has ataxia and falls all the ime... in such circs as this she is closely supervised.

the much larger child should not have been in the under 4's area in a general session, lds or not, unless it had been agreed with the soft play and she was supervised properly. our local soft play allows carers to accompany sn children onto the main play frame as a matter of routine, and also has an sn evening when much older, bigger children can utilise the equipment freely (including the under 4's area), with no chance of accidental harm to littlies. at all other times kids (sn or not) have to abide by the usual rules of size/ zones etc.

if the parent or carer feels the child would benefit from the under 4's area, they should make arrangements with the soft play that it can be done without disrupting the ordinary use of the toddler area, where littlies can test their limits in safety.

soft play areas have such a lot to offer sn kids, but they do have to be accessed appropriately, without prejudicing any other users.

Thanks for all your responses, I felt awful complaining, I was close by him all the time, so he wasnt in any danger as such, but it meant instead of sitting in the soft play area, and letting him explore, as he likes to do, I had to follow him everytime he moved, most of the other parents with smaller babies/younger toddlers simply left, it was only my friend and I who sat it out. The under 4s section isnt exactly large and the toy she was attracted to was the centre piece of it.

This was during school hours and the whole of the older kids section was almost totally empty, it was on 3 levels and the bottom level could have been accessed.

Dont get me wrong I did have every sympathy for her, she had every right to be in the soft play centre, and to enjoy herself, just not in the part she was in, and definitely not without constant supervision.

It did hammer home to me how difficult it must be when you have an older child presenting with a much younger age, though.