Not sure this is the right place

[Tamarto]

If it's not please feel free to suggest somewhere better

My son is nearly 7, ever since he was small i've felt that there was something 'not right' about him. Not in a bad way just how he behaved and how he reacted to certain situations.

Things include

Being obsessed with things, more so than usual obsessions. E.G. when he was almost 2 he spent a whole party, with other children and people he likes playing with a balloon, ignoring absolutely everything else.

He has love blues clues since he was tiny, for a while it was all he'd watch, even now he will come home from school and go upstairs and watch it, he gets very upset if he can't for any reason.

He loves routine, and gets very uncomfortable if plans change or we try to do something spontaneous.

He doesn't seem to be able to read people very well.

I spoke to my HV and she refereed us to a paediatrician. He saw various specialists ie occupational therapists/speech therapists, etc.

It was decided he needed Speech therapy which is still ongoing, and had hearing problems, (glue ear) which lead to him having his tonsils out. Otherwise it was felt all was well.

All through this process i felt that they were ignoring the issues that i was concerned about.

Last year we saw a school nurse who was very understanding and initially offered to refer us back into the system, but understood when i said i was reluctant as i felt they were not looking at the issues i feel exist.

A few days later i got a call from her saying she felt there was no problem the ST said she felt there was no problem (which i later found out to be untrue) and all she could do was refer us back, which i declined.

Fast forward to today i visited a different school nurse explained the above and she recommended it be refereed back in as she feels things may have been missed!

I feel like i'm banging my head off a brick wall, that or imagining things I agreed to him being refereed back to the paediatrician.

I'm not sure why i'm posting this other than in the hope someone understands how i feel.

My sons issues are not huge and individually seem non issues almost. I identify a lot with many posts to do with children on the Autistic spectrum, but when i've tried to explain that it gets brushed off as he talks to me and is very affectionate

To end this very long post I'd like to say thank you for reading this far. It probably makes no sense, but if you do have any input i'd be grateful as i just don't know what to do now.

People have asked why i don't just leave it because it's not bothering anyone, but i'm not sure that is the case.

Hi Tamarto.
I don't think we're exclusive . Plenty of people on here whose kids don't have proper dx.
Can't really help you myself as my DD is nothing like (also not in UK so can't comment on referrals process, but bumping for you in the hope that someone else can help!

What you describe does sound like it could be aspergers - I'm thinking of his obsessive and routine bits. Aspergers is basically autism with no speech delay and normal IQ. Often people with aspergers kids, or even High functioning autism, talk of their kids speaking properly, but in a slightly odd manner, as if they are lecturing someone. Plus they can talk for hours on their own area of interest, without picking up social cues to say they are going on about it too much and boring people. Does this sound familiar? My extremely HF autistic relative has some problems with friendships too, she doesn't understand the nuances. I think you are right to keep pushing the system. Of course they will dismiss your concerns, as a diagnosis could cost them ££££s in extra help for your son! You should push for him to be seen by an autism specialist or paediatrician. Good luck!

I suppose you could go back into the system but be prepared to be very, very, super clear about your concerns starting with your post here. You never know, you might see someone different along the way as they do chop and change sometimes which can be a disadvantage, but sometimes a benefit. How is his eye contact? I find that often people with AS or HFA still have poor eye contact? The rest sounds possible AS to me.

agree with sickof and davros. I've found that ASD can be the elephant in the room - that even professionals sometimes don't mention it even if they are ruling it out, for fear of somehow upsetting us as parents. Do you feel he is doing OK socially and academically at school? And absolutely no harm in reading round the subject anyway, there's a fair few self-help type books around with useful tips that will still help (and certainly won't hinder) even if ultimately he's found not to have Aspergers (Jessica Kingsley publishers have a website with lots of relevant books)

It certainly sounds like there s 'something'. Why dont you just take up the rout of referral to paed. You may well see a different one to last time, or things may be more obvious to doctor now your son is older.

Have school raised anything?

Hi Tamarto, we all understand your confusion here. Think we've all been there at some time or other.

I now know for sure that My son (8) certainly is autistic,though high functioning, affectionate and he also talks to me and makes very good eye contact too.

Dx was last year but we knew for some time before. Dx is not important now nor was it before but it may help him and others to understand how he ticks some time in the future.

Autism is very much The Emperor's Cloak in the way that everybody would score some points on the spectrum but whether they cross over or not into an ASD dx, for those that are high functioning, seems to be very much in the eye of the beholder.

Not much of an answer, I know but until you know for sure whether or not you wish to pursue this further....If you do then we are here for you.

I am going to take up the referral, he is a very clever little boy, so i'm told. I have concerns about socially.

The school will be little help i fear.

'Dx was last year but we knew for some time before. Dx is not important now nor was it before but it may help him and others to understand how he ticks some time in the future.'

This is what keeps coming back into my head and the reason why i feel like i'm headed into battle yet again.

Thank you everyone for your replies they are very helpful.

i have concerns about him* socially.

Going back to the eye contact comment, funnily enough DS (severe ASD, non-verbal etc) has VERY good eye contact and sometimes he really stares deeply into people's eyes but he had none when he was very small. But my sister (50+) with AS has poor eye contact.

DS2 seems to have good eye contact, it's never been a concern.

DS1 who i have no concerns about hates, infact really hates making eye contact.

Funny how that works, i prefer not to hold eye contact with anyone too.