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Original poster

So how did you meet your RL sn parent friends?

56 replies

meltedmarsbars · 13/05/2009 22:03

I met my oldest sn friend at a swimming pool with her sn dd1 aged about 10, my sn dd2 was about 9months and still without diagnosis. I've met others through portage and physio groups but not really through the sn school - because our kids are bussed there so there's no "school gate" moment.

How did you meet your sn rl friends?

OP posts:
Original poster
meltedmarsbars · 14/05/2009 20:11
Grin
OP posts:
glitteryb6 · 14/05/2009 20:39

were they melted in a chip pan?

Arabica · 14/05/2009 21:00

I've met some by going to portage drop-in and helping set up the parents forum, but am still looking...seeking friends with a DC a bit like mine, but (ideally) a bit further on in the system...
I meet lots of ASD parents. Sadly though a lot of parents of kids with GDD are (so my portage worker says) for whatever reason, not ready to socialise within the sn community when their children are very little. And professionals aren't good at helping make links easier for people, eg they could ask parents if they would like to meet other parents, and have their contact details passed on.

Original poster
meltedmarsbars · 15/05/2009 12:37

glittery6 I don't have a chip pan. go to the chippy and they don't know what a fish supper is here, or a poke'o'chips.

Arabica, I can see why its difficult to socialise with other sn parents when your kid is little- its a bit like being forced into a world you're maybe not ready for at that stage. I can remember going to a really busy portage xmas group and being traumatised by so many distraught parents in one room. I thought everyone would be as mentally shell-shocked as I was at the time and it overwhelmed me.

Our portage got a parent to invite the other parents to her home and start a coffee circle in each others homes. That group still goes on 3 years later.

Sometimes healthcare workers can set up parents links - eg through physio groups rather than one-to-one physio.

Tbh I meet up with my sn friends without the kids usually. Our kids are too hard to handle en masse!!

OP posts:
Phoenix4725 · 15/05/2009 12:44

i get out and about with ds but do find it hard at nt toddler groups etc you can almost hear the when they realise e isalmost 4 not a 18 monh oldlike they think

Original poster
meltedmarsbars · 15/05/2009 12:57

I moved house when my dd2 was 18m, went to nt toddler group and it was AWFUL, full of cliques, who all sat around the edge of the room staring as I tried to get my floppy child who couldn't even sit up unaided or grasp things, to play. Went twice and never again.

The thing is, before I had her I used to run a nt toddler group, so I felt so outcast.

5 years later then bumped into a mother (sledging up local hill) who recognised me from that group, she felt the same apparently and there's nothing wrong with her kids!

My hide is considerably thicker now.

OP posts:
Phoenix4725 · 15/05/2009 13:16

mine to as since ilive in a town where if you not lived here for more than 25 yearsyour stil a outsider.Though does work in some ways as a lot of people locally know ds and do not stare /nudge each other to often

glitteryb6 · 15/05/2009 18:18

MMB, can understand how a poke'o'chips might be hard to get their head round but what do they call a fish supper then, fish and chips?....how very boring!

i usually meet SN friends without the kids too, usually for lunch, its a nice break and you know they totally understand what you're talking about!

HelensMelons · 15/05/2009 20:45

Mine's a pasty bap - anyone ever had one?

Dont have many friends who have kids with sn. Just 2 really, both because we have a caravan at the same place. It's a good laugh when we all get together.

It is nice to get out on my own though as well (not that it happens often!)

Phoenix4725 · 15/05/2009 20:57

me i like barmcake with my chips

glitteryb6 · 15/05/2009 21:11

ok whats a barmcake then?

glitteryb6 · 15/05/2009 21:13

ah you mean a roll & chips!

glitteryb6 · 15/05/2009 21:15

and up here that would be a Bridie on a roll, Helensmelons

glitteryb6 · 15/05/2009 21:15

apologies, ive just turned this into a fast food thread!

othermother · 15/05/2009 22:59

I met mine on a different forum, but a couple of them post on here too.

HelensMelons · 15/05/2009 23:20

lol Glittery.

I am going to bed now ..... hungry!

Phoenix4725 · 16/05/2009 03:46

yep its from when used live upnorth

papapapokerface · 16/05/2009 08:53

My oldest friend has a child with SN and so do I but we have known each other since we were 11. Other than that I just have a few 'aquaintances' at playgroup - we swap notes at the school gate and that's about it. tbh my NT friends have on the whole been brilliant with support, and are all interested to learn more about ASD. I've had one or 2 'odd' comments from them but it's just been through ignorance and lack of understanding of what we go through. I am happy to set them straight. I guess I am lucky in that respect.

Deeeja · 16/05/2009 19:41

I used to go t a nt toddler group, was uncomfortable to say the least. A memorable moment:
nt mum:"he's big for a 1 year old" (referring to my now 4 year old ds who has autism)
me:"yes he is, but average size for 2.5 year old"

I know mums with sn kids, but not many, think we are all shattered!

BriocheDoree · 17/05/2009 15:08

Don't have any RL friends whose kids have SN...

Oooh fish supper!
Tho' I confess when I lived in Scotland I always missed mushy peas because the scots can't do them very well, even though the fish and chips were good. Brown sauce on the chips, please.

(How sad is it to hanker after fish and chips when you live in a country with one of the greatest gastronomic reputations in the world - Glittery, see what you've started! Haven't had a fish supper for about 9 months!)

glitteryb6 · 17/05/2009 20:54

ah but were you in the east or west of scotland briochedoree?
here in the West its salt and vinegar (with optional "broon" or "rid" sauce) but in the East its salt and sauce (basically very vinegary brown sauce)

Original poster
meltedmarsbars · 18/05/2009 12:48

Salt'n'sauce!!!

So,.... what's the best way to meet rl sn friends?

OP posts:
BriocheDoree · 18/05/2009 12:51

Edinburgh so, yes, salt and sauce.

glitteryb6 · 18/05/2009 13:53

see im in the west but worked in Bathgate for a bit and enjoyed the salt and sauce out there, anywhere east of Armadale seems to be salt and sauce!
best chips with salt and sauce i ever had was the North Berwick Fry, (unsuprisingly in North Berwick!) had to have 2 portions they were so good! ooh im hungry now!

glitteryb6 · 18/05/2009 13:53

maybe we could have a SN parents outing to a good chippy!