Mums with SN 'Pre-schoolers'

[Frasersmum123]

Can I ask you how much tme you spend with your LO's playing, or how much time they spend by themselves playing?

Fraser doesnt play at all, ecept for his bead table. He wanders about alot and loves repetitive walking, he will play for about 5 minutes at a time if I play with him but then he gives up. He will watch his DVD's (In the Night Garden or Something special)

I suppose the reason I am asking is because I feel guilty. I would love to spend lots of time playing but we are not always able because DD is only 7 months,so she takes alot of looking after and I have housework to do, even if it is the bare minimum, plus Fraser isnt very responsive to playing, so I suppsoe I have given up

I wanted to add that we do play - he likes the trampoline and his big car - but thats only good when the weather is good.

if i play with ds he will play longer, but if i am doing something he tends to wander and get into mischief and yes I feel bad that i am not constanl yplaying with ds but with 3 other dc and house etc and there is only me as well sometimes I just let him get on with it

if i play with ds he will play longer, but if i am doing something he tends to wander and get into mischief and yes I feel bad that i am not constanl yplaying with ds but with 3 other dc and house etc and there is only me as well sometimes I just let him get on with it

Dd2 plays along side others but doesn't interact with them.

I have started playing with her for a couple hour each day but often she just lines toys up or stacks them. She will make dolls walk around and will speak (babble) into a phone which 3 months ago she didn't. Shes happy to do a puzzle with me and has just started playing some of the 'orchard games' with me and dd1.

have you asked about portage?

or a nursery place?

we have just started Portage and he goes to nursery twice a week.

I do try with him, we read every day and he likes to push his cars backwards and forward, we do that for a while every day, but he is much more about physical play - going for walks, playing outside etc.

DD1 'plays' with DD2, but it is all on her own agenda. She gets angry/ frustrated when DD2 gets bored of playing the same 'game' i.e. chasing. over and over again. She is limited in what she will do. She likes her play food atm, but is always going shopping, which involves piling all of her food into the trolley and walking around with it. She calls it shopping because our homestart volunteer did it a few weeks ago.

Mainly her play is some form of rolling around/ running/ climbing on something... She likes singing active songs, so I do those with her.

It is hard when you have others. I have DD2, 21 months, and DD3, 1 month, also.

Have you considered asking for a homestart volunteer. Once I swallowed my pride, it has been the best thing. Our volunteer comes for about 2.5 hrs per week, and entertains the girls while I do what I need or want to do.

Of course there is another way of looking at this:

that he DOESNT want you in his face all his waking hours?

AFAIK DS5 is more than happy that im not, and portage has said as much - when we are playing he can manage maybe 10mins then he wanders off. Couldnt be more clear to me that hes had enough.

Perhaps doing a few 10min slots of trying to engage him would be good? I was kinda thinking something easy to get out and easy to understand as just as easy to put away. how about pots and pans banging - hes gotta be into that? making scribbles for a few minutes? pile cushions/duvets on the floor to jump on and YOU included? assault course with cushions? small washing up bowl of half a dozen interesting looking things to splash in (towles at the ready)? anything physical that doesnt require any rules at all, which can be done on his level. Anything i suppose that gets him to interact and enjoy doing so.

please dont feel guilty (easier said than done, i know) parenting is hard enough without adding extra pressure to your schedule.

XX

My little one spends a lot of time playing on his own, I have made a lot of attempts to play with him but he just gets bored and next thing you are playing on your own, he does enjoy his sandpit though and will spend a lot of time with that, in the winter I filled a washing up bowl with sand so that he could play with it on the kitchen floor he loved it, I read to him but keep to short storys that way he is ok but if i was to try a longer story he would get up and walk away.

Thanks everyone.

We do lots of physical songs, and we dance along to Boogie Beebies!

Misscutandstick - thanks for making me look at it the other way round

Hello there - I'm probably telling you what you already know, but have you tried the Hanen thing, "more than words"? We've only just started, but find it works very well with playing, and you can build it into the video watching as well

We are going on the 'More Than Words' course in september, but I dont really know what it is yet

It's basically a course for parents where they give you lots of ideas about ways of communicating with your kids, and getting your kids to communicate more with you in everyday situations. It probably has some things you already do. You can get the book from the Winslow catalogue (I think) here www.winslow-cat.com/cgi-bin/winslow.storefront. It's not exactly cheap but I think that's the cheapest I've found for that book.

DD1 would 'play' for too long either, and still doesn't, although it is better. When she's not at pre-school I have to take her out every morning either to the park, play gym, visiting friends/grandmas, just something otherwise life is a nightmare. If worn out from the morning she can usually entertain herself more in the afternoons and we don't have TV on until 3.30-4.00pm while I'm doing tea and sorting the kitchen. Any other housework gets done in the odd occaisions I'm not working or DH does it.

I have had huge issues with SS over their lack of any playschemes or similar in the holidays. There are loads of things for the over 8s but nothing for younger children especially pre-schoolers. Its as if pre-school SN children don't exist. Anyway, to save my sanity during the summer holidays I'm helping to organise a summer pre-school playscheme.