The "is he isn't he" question in finally over....phew!

[Barmymummy]

Am fairly newish to this board but some of you may recognise me so will post an update for those of you who may like to know!

My DS (aged 4 in June) has had some quirky behaviours for a while now and my mummy instincts kicked in and told me to get him checked. Have been awaiting an appt with paed + SALT since Feb and yesterday was phoned up with a cancellation date for today! Was a compete mess!! No time to get stewed up lol!

Anyway, today was the day and after watching him at playschool this morning and talking to his playschool teachers I was quite confident that we would come out saying he was probably ok.

The SALT was lovely and played with DS getting him to do lots of stuff to check him out etc and the paed was very nice too. I would say he performed well today, ie showed himself to his best abilities at the tests etc but also displayed the not so normal behaviours that worry me.

Paed told me that yes basically she did feel he was on the spectrum but at the mild end of it. Said he should go to mainstream school etc no problem and said she felt a dx was pointless as it wouldn't gain much for him, I agreed. However, she is writing a report for me to give to his school (starts Jan 2010) so that they can be prepared for his little quirks which has made me feel loads better.

I thought I would come out devastated or a total mess but somehow "I knew"....I knew he had issues and have been coming to terms with it for the last 5 months so was already quite a long way past the shock iykwim.

Anyway, prognosis is very good so I shouldn't really be too worried but I'm a mum and thats what mums do eh?

DH is now in shock mode as he has been in denial and so is father in law....they are going to have to work their own way round it!!

Am I wrong for feeling 'relieved' that he won't be seen as the naughty boy and also even more upsetting is that I feel I can stop this awful "is he isn't he" rubbish? Its as though I can give myself permission to finally switch off and tell myself I did a good job, was a good mum for putting us through this referral, wasn't imagining it, wasn't obsessing......anyone relate to that??

xxx

I identify with what you say Barmy: I also felt relieved when I first got the diagnosis, like I didn't any more have to spend all day and night agonsing over is he isn't he, nor was I going mad thinking he was autistic(so many well-meaning people kept saying "he's fine, what are you on about?"). But I think your feelings may veer and chop and change as time goes on, and you may go through lots of different feelings later on. A formal diagnosis may help at a later stage, with more time for exams etc, so maybe don't totally rule that out? It is great that he is at the mild end and that the school will be ready and won't just label him a naughty boy. You have done a good job getting this all in place in so timely a fashion. xx

im glad you know where you are now xx

mumslife, how old is your son?

I am doing the same, he's 3.8 and doing great at home other than language delay (which is progressing) but withdrawn at nursery.

Glad you got a helpful report barmymummy - sounds like the right thing to do.

me too mumslife and lingle. It does make me wonder how many of us are in this limbo land.

Glad you got a bit of closure, barmymummy, hope he continues to do really well. Keep us posted!