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Original poster

Get off that!!!

20 replies

5inthebed · 06/05/2009 18:26

So as you know, DS2 has been wearing grunderpants for an hour each day, and being a good boy by sitting on the potty. However, I'd say for about 30 minutes of that hour, he is fiddling with himself .

Anybody know how I can stop him doing this, other than chopping his hands off as me yelling "Get off that" every time he does it isn't working lol.

OP posts:
misscutandstick · 06/05/2009 18:31

Well if there was a way of stopping men from fiddling with it every 20secs then women the world over would be eternally grateful

bubblagirl · 06/05/2009 18:36

my ds always fiddles lol when his anxious his always messing i just tell him it will fall off and the rest of the time ignore it or give him something to hold other than that we have a squishy object that he can squeeze and pull instead he has lesson ed a lot but still needs to check its there when he sits down lol its so normal dp sleeps holding his

maybe the threats of chopping it off has scared him lol

silverfrog · 06/05/2009 18:43

we had this problem with dd1 (yep, girls do it too ) when she went into pants.

5 months on, she has (mostly) stopped - she just doesn't seem to fiddle as much.

Not sure whether she's just lost interest, or if we/school have had any influence.

responses have ranged from "stop fiddling" to removing her hands, to "hands out" - all said in nice measured tones at schoo, no doubt, and yelled by me at times

ICANDOTHAT · 06/05/2009 18:45

Tell him he'll unscrew his legs !!. This frightened the life out of my ds2

anonandlikeit · 06/05/2009 18:50

Tell him it will fall off

But seriously once he has less access (pants & trousers) & its not such a novelty it should fade away.

anonandlikeit · 06/05/2009 18:50

Thats the touching not his bits that will fade away btw.

Original poster
5inthebed · 06/05/2009 18:55

I might uct tape his hands to his sides to stop him doing it.

Will see how we go with "hands out"

OP posts:
Peachy · 06/05/2009 19:00

Hmm, seriously you know ytou're not supposed to say it will fall off right? PMSL. You're supposed to just say 'if you feel a need to do that please do it in privaste in your room' (obv that depends on understanding of language here)- otherwise they can get issues apparently as they mature.

however this has been driving me amd X 3 for ages (I usually say 'hands from pants please! and leave it at that) so DH is going to build me a big flashing sign to mount in their bedrooms for when they hit puberty that works from a button in the living room and says 'STOP WANKING'.

silverfrog · 06/05/2009 19:00

hands out has had most success with dd1 (as in it was the most recent response, and she now fiddles less, but that could be coincidence of timing)

I also noticed that if she was doing something (drawing, reading, anything really) where she was occupied, she did not do it as much - it was when watching tv, or a bit aimlessly bored that she did it most.

silverfrog · 06/05/2009 19:03

but it's so tricky, Peachy (which I know you appreciate)

I have said all manner of things to dd1 (and dd2 actually, as she copies her sister in everything - still, imitation is good ) like "don't touch" and then thought I shouldn't have said it - after all, it is part of life etc etc.

Teaching appropriateness is the hardest thing

bubblagirl · 06/05/2009 19:03

lol peachy

lingle · 06/05/2009 19:05

gosh, I considered this a complete non-problem. But he is only 3.8.

He can fiddle all day so far as I'm concerned.

Peachy · 06/05/2009 19:07

I know silverfrog, I think we're supposed to teach that it's OK to touch in private and I try and do that with ds1 / 2 as they can process that. DS3 is way off that level tbh, so that's when we just say 'hands out of pants' as it's non judgemental but does the trick.

It is something that can become a major issue with SN boys in particular as they age, speaking to a few parents of teenagers.

silverfrog · 06/05/2009 19:14

that's exactly why we've gone with "hands out".

I owuldn't worry about it if I though she would stop of her own accord, but she's nearly 5 (and looks about 7), and if she carries on now, she'll still be at it when she's a teen too, and that's just not acceptable in public...

Original poster
5inthebed · 06/05/2009 19:21

Somehow I don't think me saying 'if you feel a need to do that please do it in private in your room' would be understood . He is only capable of understanding a 4 word command at the very most.

It doesn't bother me tbh, but his SN are going to start putting him in grunderpants from next week and I really don't want him doing it there, although I suppose he will regardless of what I tell him.

OP posts:
Peachy · 06/05/2009 19:24

No 5, ds3 can't understand it witrher (he doesn't have a word limit exactrly, but very poor receptive with delayed expressive and reduced attentions pan etc etc etc- you know, same old)

But most of the time its done to make me feel as if I have said summat, tos top the guilt

anonandlikeit · 06/05/2009 19:24

I'm to say the one that does it most in my house is DH, perhaps his mum should of threatened to chop his hands off

amber32002 · 06/05/2009 19:46

Yup, agree with Peachy. When we did the LFA retraining at the unit we used pictures and basic instruction to get individuals to go to the loos or a quiet bedroom rather than Letting It All Hang Out in public (as it were ).

Thing is, er, no, actually I'd better not say TMI

Original poster
5inthebed · 06/05/2009 19:49

LOL Anon. Atually, my DH does the same and I keep arguing with him about it. Its like having a 4th child. How am I meant to get DS2 to stop it hen his dad is sitting there doing the same. I'm just waiting for the day when DS2 turns around to his dad and tells him to "get off that"

OP posts:
anonandlikeit · 06/05/2009 20:15

I think its a comfort thing (for dh not the kids)

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