amber can you cast your eye over this please!!

[beverleyjayne]

hi there, can i just ask you what you think of our morning routine amber please!! as you know dd is query aspergers and also attending Camhs. anyway back to school this morning, last night made a list of what she was going to do in the moring and was even including some fun on the wii, this never happens other than in her head the night before!! just before bed starts to worry over her maths and she cant remember how to do it, so i go over a few with her till she settles down a bit. up next morning and cries, doesnt want to go to school, doesnt know the work, where will she be sitting, can i collect her early etc etc, she is extremly school phobic and we were advised to let her do half days as getting her there was meeting the problem half way. the morning can be quite trumatic but eventually i will get her out of the house and round to her friends house as we have found going with them is a bit easier on dd. when we get there she will always do her best to stop crying and can usually manage it, so is this typical behaviour do you think and how could you explain it.

thanks so much for reading this and anyone who has any advice will be gratefully recieved . i am writing this in at work and just trying to make sense of maybe what goes on in dd head every morning.

bev

Well, in my personal opinion,

made a list of what she was going to do in the morning

started to worry over her maths and she cant remember how to do it

next morning cried, doesnt want to go to school, doesnt know the work, where will she be sitting, can you collect her early etc etc?

Well, to me it sounds pretty normal, because it's what I do every time I'm learning a new routine for something. The lists are a way to help myself remember what to do, but then I'm so busy rechecking what's on the list that I panic over something else instead, and some maths things I simply cannot do at all. Personally, I have to visualise all my maths, so if it's too complicated, I have to draw a pattern of it. Lots of maths methods make no sense to me. But that may not be the case for your daughter - just guessing.

So then she's facing the School Run, with the uncomfortable clothes and shoes and the noise and sensory input of the transport/walk there, and then the wall of noise and jostling and chaos in the entranceway to school or the playground - all the eye contact and social signals that we guess are there, but miss or can't cope with. (Generally speaking).

And then she has to be able to also remember what to do, and try to have enough energy left to cope with the "where on earth am I sitting?!" bit. For me, even choosing a chair to sit on can cause me to just stop and seize up mentally. It's why I work in environments I know, or get people to send photos of the room etc.

So yes, I can understand some of what you're writing of here. Whether it's something that can only be ASD related is debateable. Might be other things, but the experts will know.

thanks for repling amber, this has all kicked off really since january, although all her other traits have always been there ie noise, lights, routine and hating change. its almost as if the social side has just kicked in and when i say kicked i mean basically knocked the life out of her . some of the things that i have read do say that this is the age where aspergers would become more active for want of a better word . i think i just like having your input as at the back of my mind i still worry about Camhs and them saying it maybe is behavioural and talking about letting her go the centre for 24hour observation for a few weeks - which i could never do to her.

bev

Bev, personally I'd be all but accusing them of child cruelty if they suggested sending her to a centre for observation in any way she can't cope with. There's definitely different and better ways to help a child, I'd say. The noise, lights, fear of changes of routine etc do seem to fit a general pattern of ASD, in my view, so you have every reason to want them to investigate properly and thoroughly and in as stress-free a way as they can manage for her.

thanks for repling amber, i know you are having a busy day today. hope you get through it ok and talk to you later
thanks
bev