SN DS weeing on potty at home but not at school

[Tigerlion]

Have been potty training son (3.8) since start of the Easter holidays. Left it a while as he has a language delay and pediatrician said to wait to potty train when he could lead me. He has been fantastic at home, weeing quite happily on his potty and always doing it himself. Still pooing in pants but emptying it in the potty and hopefully it will catch on soon.

However he REFUSES to wee on the potty at school. I have taken in his own potty and the teachers who he adores and trusts have been trying to help him but he just refuses and gets through around 3 pairs of trousers in a morning session. They end up putting him in pull ups as he ends up having no extra change of clothing and cannot spend their time changing him when they have other children to look after.

What can I do so that he starts weeing at school? The Clinical Psychologist has suggested doing a 'social story'with him. Has anyone else experienced a similar problem and if so what did you do?

My son (four next month, ASD) has been kind of similar. Got weeing first last autumn then about six months later finally stopped trying to scrape poo from his pants and into potty and now uses the potty (or occasionally toilet) pretty much flawlessly at home. He started nursery in January and is yet to wee there and so I'm still sending him in wearing pull-ups. I don't think he'd get a social story (language understanding not good, attention to pix not great unless theyre on a pc). At the moment his teacher is supposed to be offering more prompts and opportunities. I'm afraid I've no answers just sympathy! If I do find the answer you'll be first to know.

DD did this and eventually stopped. Wish I knew what had made it click but it took months. For the first two months she had lots of accidents, then she learnt to hold it in for the whole morning, then after about six months she started going at school.
She also took year to stop pooing her pants. Now at nearly five she's completely trained but it has been a LLLLLLOOOOONNNNNNNGGGGG road.
All I can say is "hang in there, it does get better".

Brioche, is she at school? If so, how were school about her pooing in her pants? I am concerned that DS will still be doing this and possibly wetting himself when he starts school in September and do not know if they will help him or not

tigerlion: pretty much in the same position as you. i've started getting ds to go to the toilet in the nursery when i go to pick him up, just in case he needs an association from home to do it. not sure if it will work. i'm beginning to get confused about which clothes are ds's and which belong to the nursery!

Nursery told me this morning that he now needs to wear pull ups at nursery and wee on the potty at home. Surely this will confuse him but as he simply refuses to go at school they say it is what we should do until half term.

I suppose I'd feel differently about baring my bottom at work than at home .

No advice, suspect you'll have to wait and follow his lead. I think if weeing is well established at home you should continue to be ok there despite the pullups.

DS2 is also 3.8, also language-delayed, also trained at home this Easter holiday. He wees reliably in potty and (standing up) in home and nursery toilets and same at some people's houses where he has had the chance to spend several months checking the toilet out. He flushed the nursery toilets several times a morning for several months - this was treated with concern as some weird perverted activity but I'm sure he was just doing a scientific investigation to be sure it was safe to use them!
And today he did his first poo in the potty. I was so excited I saved it for DH to see.

DS2 won't wee in public toilets because he is terrified of the hand-dryers (can't blame him) and doesn't have a chance to "get to know" the toilet in question. He will use his potty out and about though. Will also wee in the grass.

if it helps my ds wa sthe same when he couldnt communicate so well now his speech has come along i started taking him to toilet at pre school and then gradually he was going when asked byt hem rather they were taking him and not asking him

now he communicates better i say wee before we leave and he says nah i go at pre chool lol

they did used to take him to the toilet even if he didnt attempt to go maybe this helped he was able to relax and do it when he was ready but had become familiar with the routine and the toilets