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I have a few questions for you amber32002!

6 replies

Yurtgirl · 01/05/2009 09:00

Hi Amber - I hope you will be pleased about a thread entirely for you

My ds is 7 with a diagnoses of Aspergers. He is desperately unhappy at school - because he is bored in class (too easy) and because the staff are entirely ignorant of aspergers and his needs - although I have tried to enlighten them!

He is desperate to be home educated which I am willing to do, although daunted by the task!

My questions are:

Are you glad that you 'survived' your school experience? (I am assuming you did, maybe you feel you didnt?)

Or given your time again would you have pestered your family to allow you to be home educated?

I hope that makes sense and that you dont mind me asking - it is really interesting to be able to talk to an adult who understands how my son feels

OP posts:
Yurtgirl · 01/05/2009 09:01

Feel free to tell me not to be so cheeky as to ask

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amber32002 · 01/05/2009 09:21

A thread just for me? Blimey, people will be out with their pitchforks soon if there's any more thread about me . I'm not good with attention being on me, because I have to work so hard to even calculate which person is which on here (remember, I have no working 'people bit' in my brain). But sometimes it helps to hear a bit about life from some of us. I'm always hopeful that others with an ASD will lend their experiences too - which they do

Er, am I glad that I survived my school experience? Yes, otherwise I'd be dead (literal thinking - sorry )

I could liken it much of it to one of those desert endurance courses where people stagger about in the sand for weeks and months, gasping for water, burned to a crisp, hoping to find some small muddy pool of water to survive from, and wondering why everyone else has the deckchairs up and the ice creams out and seems to be having a good time.

Surviving each day was a battle of wills and courage. Well, some courage, some fear of what would happen if I didn't go at all (those were the days when a well-aimed missile or a clip round the ear were more than permissible).

And that was in a very well structured school where we sat in rows with no eye contact and with utterly silent classrooms (except for the teacher, of course).

I have tried helping in classes as a school Governor in recent years, and I am quite unable to manage it for more than about 3/4 hour at a time. The level of noise and movement and flickering screens etc pushes me into absolute exhaustion.

Would I have wanted home education? No, because I was also a young carer to a very ill parent and in some ways school was at least a different kind of hell. And there was no-one at home who could have educated me anyway. But I'm guessing you need me to think more widely than that?

(thinking....)

Yes, if I had a quiet home with someone who could let me learn my way, and no roving bands of bullies to mock me or shove me about or throw my things about each and every single break and lunchtime, I'd have loved it. Or I'd have loved a school which was as quiet as mine was, but allowed for more adaptation for ASD e.g. more visual aids, definite quiet zone at breaks and lunch, some structured way to get to and from school (since I had to use the bus, and buses push me to 'shut-down point' each and every time I'm on them.

Er, does that help? Others may have entirely different views. I hope we hear from more than just me.

Yurtgirl · 01/05/2009 09:27

Amber you are wonderful thanks for that
I am sorry to say that it never occurred to me that you wouldnt like the attention - even though ds doesnt so I really should have known better!

Also words like 'survived' - I emphasised it in the hope that you wouldnt take it literally, only just worked!

What you say is entirely true about the need for a supportive home environment and home education - Given my life again (and a different family!) I would choose home ed - for me though school was a refuge from a difficult home life (I didnt like school but I disliked being at home even more)

Did you have a person to help you at school (1:1) or did you struggle on alone?

It is now of course that I wish I had made the thread title less specific so as to encourage others along - I could start another one if you like?

OP posts:
Yurtgirl · 01/05/2009 09:34

A new thread on the same topic here

new thread here

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amber32002 · 01/05/2009 09:40

Ooo, I don't know which one to answer on now but to answer your last question, no, I went through school way before there was any such thing as Asperger syndrome/HFA diagnosis for women (or indeed men). Those really happened from 1994 onwards in the UK, and for girls, really only in the last few years as so many doctors didn't understand what it looks like in women.

No help at all.

FWIW, still no help unless I pay for it myself or improvise with good friends and family. I do. It's how I manage what I do.

Yurtgirl · 01/05/2009 10:19

Decisions decisions! - for convience switch to the other one

I started a new one as I didnt want you to feel singled out, as I know that ds hates being the centre of attention too, though I obviously forgot when I started this thread - Doh!

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