Does anyone understand what might be going on?

[kjpompey]

Still new to this, so please excuse the lack of abbrieviations etc.
Reposting this here on advice of another MN member.
I am at a complete loss as to what to do with my nine year old boy.
When he gets frustrated (which is often) he hits himself, I had become immune to reacting to this behavior other that to say "that is going to solve nothing" when it happens. However last night he did it when we had company, and to see the shock on my guests face was very upsetting.
My child has always had problems of one sort or another, he is slow at learning and has poor motor skills. He has speech problems that he was given therapy for when he was three. Although it is not as pronounced as it was, he has still come home from school telling me the other kids say he has an accent. Also my friend asked what accent he had last week...yet he has been born and raised in the same area as herself.
I have an appointment with the doctor this afternoon, but i'm not really sure what im going to say.
Im certain these problems run deeper that just him being an angry kid, he suffered problems when he was born, one of which was being starved of oxygen, but i dont really understand where to start wih explaining these issues to a doctor.
The last thing I want is for him to be diagnosed with having a problem, however - to know that this is not my fault would ease the guilt.
Does anyone elses child suffer with similar issues, is there a problem I am not picking up on? Is there anything I can do to help?
Thanks for reading.

Is it a gp youre seeing?? i think the best way forward would be a referral to a paediatrician. and possibly cahms - child and adolescent mental health services (though were still waiting a referral to them so not entirely sure what they do but think would help your son). these sort of people can assess everything and then diagnose anything that is an issue. It willl be a long process though so dont expect any answers too quickly but starting the process makes it feel like things are happening. If the professionals have assessed your son then decide they dont think there ios anything wrong as such then they can still refer to cahms i believe for the anger issues. SOrry i cant be any more help but my son is only 3 so we probably see mostly different people and got a diagnosis early on so not entirely sure of all processes!

We tried Cahms a while ago, we only made it to one appointment and he wasnt comfortable with it. he had never really been comfortable talking to strangers about stuff he feels is personal to him. I think the fact that the counsellor did not really want to talk to him in the first appointment put his nose out a bit!

maybe try again though as you could see someone different??

i will give it ago - somehow he will have to understand that this is for his own benefit in the long run, regardless of how much it hurts in the short term.

If you can, think of it as a way to help him make the best of his life, rather than as him being given some huge label as a 'problem'. If they can find the right answers, brilliant.

Just tell them what you've told us. Let them make a referral to a developmental paediatrician, maybe.

As for what you're to do or not do, that's a difficult one without any of us knowing quite what's going on with him. What are the things that he finds the most frustrating? Are you able to tell us a bit more about what he finds most difficult in life?