Confirmed Private ADHD dx for ds2 - a bit long ......

[ICANDOTHAT]

Well, I am feeling a bit stupid really. My ds2 is 6.8 and was dx ADHD by NHS team. I had not been totally 'convinced' and after a very long story and a private assessment, today we received a phone call from a lovely child physch who confirmed ds2 is ADHD, however mild. I felt so bloody stupid and irresponsible - why did I question everything?. It wasn't as if only one person had been involved in the original dx, there was an army of professionals that all agreed. I know it changes nothing as far as my little man is concerned, he is still lovely, funny, bright albeit LIVELY .... but I just feel as though I've put him (and us) through it again for no good reason - purely based on me being selfish and 'in denial'. Maybe when I got the original dx, I thought ADHD would be more glaringly obvious. I don't know what I was expecting him to do - grown 2 bloody heads, or what?!?! I suppose my hunch wasn't all wrong as this dx has stated 'mild' and maybe that's where I felt he didn't quite full in with the symptoms I had researched. He's getting on well at school, still the odd issue over concentration and attention. He does go about his day at 100mph, which is knackering for the teachers and us. Anyway, I thought this thread was relevant as there had been a very recent one on here about 'dx denial v's G&T' and I was thinking, "Yep, that's me". I think I know him so well, he just seemed the norm to me ... I couldn't see the wood for the trees iyswim. Anyway, sorry for blabbering on, I know in the grand scheme of things and other's issues, this is pretty mild, so thanks for listening.

Those 'slap in the face' moments are awful arent they? we've all had them - where we all get so understanding of our childrens needs that it seems 'the norm' to us. Its only when compared to children of the same age, or when professionals come together and agree there are problems that it seems so 'obvious' that theres 'something going on'.

At least your son is now in the loop of help (hopefully), and he should be able to get any help he might need. And for those real teeth grindingly awful days, you can think "well its not personal, thats just the way he is and hopefully tomorrow will be better".

Please dont feel guilty, silly, stupid or irresponsible - its because you love your son and see the person he is, not a label that you didnt realise. XXX

good post misscutandstick, completely agree, it's perfectly responsible to look for a 2nd opinion if you feel unsure about the original process. how are you feeling about the private DX?

I'm feeling surprisingly calm ... nothing like the gut wrenching, couldn't eat, sleep or function feeling I had the first time round. This dx will be of no help with regards to support at school. He does not have an SEN as the powers that be did not feel he warranted one. This may change in time as he gets older, 'things' may get worse, who knows? He is currently on an IEP which seems to work well. He has great teachers if I am honest - I suppose I resented them in the beginning to even dare suggest he had issues, but now I realise how good they actually are. He is not medicated and as he matures, he seems aware of his behaviour more and is trying hard to moderate it - a real achievement at such a young age I think - I'm very proud of him (oh, god the tears are coming, gotta go ......)

oh good, glad it didn't come as an awful shock. Attila and other ladies on here are very experienced with the statementing process, and ipsea website is good as well if you are considering the statement route. sorry to have you in tears - he does sound a lovely boy doesn't he

Sending a hug icandothat.

Thanks - I got an extra big one from him after school too. Had to keep my sunglasses on to hide the bloody tears again