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Original poster

Appt tomorrow and a bit teary...

30 replies

sc13 · 27/04/2009 16:56

Sorry to be posting, I know there are much worse situations out there...
We have our MDA tomorrow for DS (3); I have been keeping my chin up (I think) but am getting increasingly depressed. DH is super-stressed because (I think) still in denial. DS has been grumpy and stressed (and consequently, more spectrummy than ever), probably because he picks it up from us. Whatever they tell us at the appt, I'm worried it's going to be a struggle to get SALT or any other kind of therapy. I'm worried about all the different approaches to ASD because I have no idea what's best for my child atm, and I think what the NHS will tell us will be dictated by funding. I'm worried that things with DS are going to get worse in terms of tantrums and sensory issues and losing language instead of acquiring it. I'm worried that I'll be left to hold the ship together while DH, family and the friends who have also taken residence on the Nile, do their grieving and wailing and gnashing of teeth.
Erm, rant over - until tomorrow, I guess...

OP posts:
Blossomhill · 27/04/2009 17:26

Good luck it is perfectly normal to feel the way you are. I know exactly how you feel as been there myself. Wait and see how tomorrow goes and once you have answers and need any more advice about help/therapies etc there are lots of people on here around to help.

lingle · 27/04/2009 17:39
HelensMelons · 27/04/2009 17:39

Agree with Blossom, SC13; I am always teary before important appointments (and birthdays, for some reason!, oh, and movies, songs, soppy stories, even the end of the school summer term, I could go on!)

Been there as well (dS2, asd, 8) awaiting adhd assessment and even that makes me teary.

Hopefully things will be clearer tomorrow and then you can make plans about the best way forward for you, DH and DS. Wishing you the best of luck x

lingle · 27/04/2009 17:40

What is an MDA sc13?

cyberseraphim · 27/04/2009 17:42

I don't think things will get worse, the appointment might help to clarify issues about whether there are any ASD issues - I think it is very early days for you ?

amber32002 · 27/04/2009 19:42

MultiDisciplinary Assessment, I think.

I had to really think about the "on the nile" thing, but I got it in the end

Horrible when you don't know what'll happen, isn't it.

Let us know how it goes??

tclanger · 27/04/2009 19:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

notfromaroundhere · 27/04/2009 20:32

Good luck for tomorrow. I found the assessment draining for DS1 but he had an absolute blast.

Aefondkiss · 27/04/2009 20:38

SC13, good luck, going through it is tough, I just think the whole adjustment thing is very tough, 2yrs of "adjusting" here and I am past the teary stage, but I regularly cried in front of everyone when my ds was 3, for a year, hugs (I know it isn't an mn thing to do, but have them any way!)

reducedfatkettlechip · 27/04/2009 20:43

Good luck sc13, please let us know how you get on if you feel like doing so. Thinking of you tomorrow.

tclanger · 28/04/2009 16:05

This reply has been deleted

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bullet123 · 28/04/2009 16:20

Hope it went as well as it could do.

reducedfatkettlechip · 28/04/2009 20:13

SC13, hope you're ok. Must have been tough for you all, whatever the outcome.

troutpout · 28/04/2009 21:24

hope it went ok sc13

lingle · 29/04/2009 09:39

kettle's on if you fancy a cuppa SC13.

(though I think you said you're Italian so maybe it should be expresso?)

Original poster
sc13 · 29/04/2009 12:26

A coffee would be good lingle . We got a dx of ASD. DS behaved impeccably, played with the SALT, said hi and waved, climbed on me and asked for a kiss, even played with the doll thingies . In fact, he did better on socialization than on language, which I blame on the nursery . They were very nice and positive, kept saying he has some good skills already and we can build on them, and I got special praise because his Italian is good (twice as many verbs and adjectives as in English, the odd 4-word sentence) . And the paed kept saying how handsome he was. So now we're set up for all sort of therapies, and I will keep an eye on things and intervene (i.e. do the homespun thing) as and when necessary, as well as keep doing what I'm doing. How do I feel about it? I didn't push for a dx, but now that I have one, it's a huge weight off my shoulders: no more micro-analysis of DS's behaviour; no more telling my mother that this is not because I work full-time and not to do with DH being English (bless). I know there are more struggles ahead, but I feel fine about it. Especially because I feel I have the support of all you wonderful people out there! In fact, I may even go and buy myself that super-expensive handbag I saw last week in Harvey Nix. Is it immoral to celebrate one's DS neuro-atypicality by supporting the fashion industry?

OP posts:
TotalChaos · 29/04/2009 12:28

sorry but I'm laughing at your last line about supporting the fashion industry! nope, go for it! seriously - glad you're finding it helpful having the DX and going through the process - but if the blues do strike, come back and chat to us about it.

troutpout · 29/04/2009 12:35

Oh i'm glad it went ok sc13.
lol at the handbag...oh yes i think it must be done
Stick around won't you

cyberseraphim · 29/04/2009 12:51

I am always buying stuff because I need a 'coping with ASD' pick me up ! It's a great excuse. What did they say the key areas are to focus on? How did they cope with the bi lingual issue? I'm assuming they did not have a native Italian speaker .

tclanger · 29/04/2009 13:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lingle · 29/04/2009 13:48

cool.

Original poster
sc13 · 29/04/2009 14:30

Cyber: key area really is language atm. We're on a 'More than words' course for the socialization and play thing. We've been referred to the Ed Psych, and we're going to have an IPE with nursery for the moment. We'll see how it goes; once we see the Ed Psych we'll see about statementing.
On the bilingual issue, they had to go by what I was telling them really; they said I can take the key strategies from the SALT and do them with him in Italian. But as I said I'll keep my ear to the ground; I am not ruling out a private SALT, perhaps someone who can work in Italian to complement the English part.
Half the parents in our Hanen class are not native speakers; one in fact needs an interpreter - if I manage to stick my nose in find out discreetly, I'm curious to know what SALT provisions they're getting in their case.
Lingle: I'm very curious about the 'Teach your child to listen and obey' DVD; I'll probably order it.

OP posts:
bubblagirl · 29/04/2009 14:53

only just seen this thread sorry i wasnt there to wish you luck

i hope your ok and this has now opened up the doors of more help for you

gosh its like reading about us a yr ago and to be honest your ds sounds so similar to my ds

in a yr we have come so far is now verbal and talks and talks and we have with the support of others come such along way we haven't seen the dx as a hindrance but a blessing as we now have answers we know where we are what we need to do what help to fight for

and my ds is so different to when we first joined mn at 3 he was still nearing 2 words by 3 half he was using 4 word sentences

at 4 he is now using up to 6 words and has just started what and why

if you ever want to talk then please do your doing a great job and again im glad your ds will now have access to more help from this

bullet123 · 29/04/2009 16:29

Pleased you got an answer.

reducedfatkettlechip · 29/04/2009 20:19

How are the residents on the Nile taking the news? And how are you doing?