(ASD) Can you talk to me about getting feet measured/hair cutting/etc...?

[meggymoosmum]

I'm getting by at the minute by doing the majority of things while dd is asleep. Cutting fringe, finger/toenails, applying eczema cream, and so on.

But i haven't had her feet measured for about 18m, and have just been buying 'off the peg' shoes. But when she starts pre-school i would rather she had some properly fitted ones.

I can't put off cutting her hair forever but at the moment i'm not even able to brush it. How do you tackle that?

And one thing that is worrying me... NITS! What on earth will i do?!

my ds now lets me cut his hair when in bath using scissors

did used to use clippers but he became so distressed i said to him when in bath you need a hair cut i can use razor or scissors and he now lets me scissor cut it when in bath

im wandering if the feeling of water is more calming and stimulating to take his mind off it

and it can be done so quick too

ds hates combing but for some reason can handle this when in the bath i have to keep saying its ok just few more times and done and then rinsing his back after each cut pouring water gently from cup then i can go again he now has smart hair and looks great it works for us

you could always get an old doll from charity shop and let her do her hair in bath also maybe

DS hates having his hair cut - partly the sensory issue, and also because he hates the hair on his body/face.

We have found that wrapping him tightly in a towel (like swaddling) seems to calm him. We give him a mirror and he watches us cut. he still gets anxious, but has now stopped the fighting. Two of us used to hold him down.
We immediately put him in the bath afterwards - bath ran ready. It reassures him that he can see that the bath is ready.

Feet measuring. Pick a quiet time -maybe by appointment, so that you are not waiting. Sorry, not much advice, as we still struggle with this one. DS gets over-stimulated and legs it out of the shop.

Finger nails - when DS became more verbal he could tell me that it is not just the cutting of his nails that upsets him, but that they feel 'different' when they are short. By not cutting them so short he is less anxious and is starting to comply.

To be honest if you can do it while she is asleep, then continue to do so. Unfortunately my DS wakes up instantly

WMF that is what I did last night. I ran the bath, put cartoons on the TV, strapped him in his chair then quickly cut his hair and then ran with him upstairs to the bath.
I agree that if you can do it while she is asleep then keep doing that.
Maybe you could see if the shoe shop would lend you a manual measuring thing and you could try and do that while she is asleep, might not work but it is worth a try.

Would she tolerate a painting session where you both make footprints? Cut one out and then you have at least the right length. The pta at the unit where my ds went, organised for the local clarkes shop to come to school as the kids were less anxious in familiar surroundngs. I have found if I telephone ahead and book an apoointment to come in (usually first thing) its easier. Also doing a few dummy runs just to get familiar with the layout of the shoe shop. The shoe shop might even lend you a shoe measuring device thingy but the shops where I live now have those automated machines where you just stand on the board, they press a button and hey preto you have your size and width fitting without having had your feet touched!

meggy - re:nits - if you use hedrin then you can just rub in and leave it overnight - 2 times, 7 days apart. you don't have to do the combing as well with hedrin (but obv. it is more effective if you can!).

haircuts - clippers (but not suitable for a girl!!)

shoes - september shoes bribery, january shoes I just got the next size up in the same model as the september shoes

hair - DS is usually OK, if not terribly efficient at giving his own hair a wash

We took dd1 to get her feet measured after letting her watch the episode of Peppa Pig where she gets new shoes [grinb], also dd likes the machine in clarks that you can stand on and it measures your feet.

Haircuts- both dd's have never been to have there hair cut, i do it myself.

Nits- we use the spray in lotions which you leeve in over night and comb it whilst watching tv.

Thanks guys - haven't come across those machines you just stand on, sounds like it makes life a lot easier. I'll have to check whether our local Clarks have one.

Waiting for an OT assessment at the moment and i'm hoping they will start a sensory programme with us to help tackle some issues.

Its handy to know about Hedrin - thanks TC - i want to be prepared rather than panicking about what to do if she comes home with them one day!

My son is not on the spectrum but we have had massive issues with hair cutting, shoe fittings, nail cuttings and tried swaddling, distraction, doing it in stages, practising on dolls ... What worked for him was finding a hairdressers that played DVDs, gave him lollies etc.For washing his hair getting him to focus on stuff on the ceiling has meant his head is tipped back and he is distracted. Getting him a nintendo DS has meant that he no longer has to be sedated for heart scans! I think just getting older has also helped although nail cutting remains a complete no no.

We've had some success with DS2 and hair cutting by having his hair cut for a very short time every week - with a DVD on and sweets as incentives! The regularity of it seems to have desensitised him to a certain extent. Wetting his hair before cutting it also works well - I think maybe the scissors sound different? and also it means the hair falls in clumps rather than individual tickly hairs.
With nail cutting and teeth brushing I do a count down.

Nit combing - aaarrghh - the bane of my life. He hates it and the nits love him - not a good combination. We just do it, with him protesting every inch of the way - and I feel dreadful, because it's obviously very uncomfortable, even painful, for him. Any advice on this would be much appreciated. Our nits seem to be resistant to Hedrin!

I am trying a desensitisation approach to haircuts right now. DH took DS2 (3.8, receptive language delay +?) to the barbers until recently when he said that DS2 was screaming the place down each time. I took him myself and realised it was true. Partly fear, partly just stroppiness, but it had built up to something quite bad.

I casually "snip" my fingers around his hair most days saying "snip snip" and he says "all gone". Sometimes we do a countdown from ten. He likes real scissors and I've let him cut a lock or two of my hair to see the hair fall. He particularly dislikes the sensation of the scissors round the back of his neck. I include "move your head" and "keep your head still" in our "Simon Says" games so he gets used to these commands.

Today we went to the barbers. I "found" a "lost" beloved computer game and placed it on the barber's chair. The barber kindly went off for a cigarette whereupon DS2 sat on the chair. The barber came back and pointedly ignored Ds2 and read the newspaper. Ds2 sat in the barber's chair for 10 minutes or so playing the computer game. Barber came and gave him chocolate but did not attempt to touch his head.

It's going to take quite a few visits on slow weekday afternoons and a lot of tips for the barber but I can see how we will get there.......aiming to do it by when DS2 is 4 in August. His hair could be pretty long by then!

Top tip: Warm the scissors. Cold scissors feels like being hit on the head with a searingly painfully breathtakingly cold steel blade.

Can't cope with ordinary hairdressers. Mine has to come to my house so I can at least cope with things better, and I've known her for many, many years so there's nothing unexpected. Tis not easy.

Shoe measuring? Difficult. Again, often there's a freezing cold metal shoe-measuring thingy. That's a big trigger for panic setting in, even if we're wearing socks. Teaching myself to breathe through my nose, count numbers or shoes on the wall or whatever works, and maybe wiggle the toes on the other foot at the same time really helps.

Combing or brushing hair? It hurts. It really, really does. Suggest using the best slickest conditioner humanly possible, and a comb that's warmed a little, and keeping to a rhythm. The tricks of breathing through the nose, wiggling toes and counting things might help too. Something to hug will also help, e.g. big soft cushion, favourite toy, duvet to wrap round themselves tightly.

Amazing we get anything done to us at all, eh?

re: nits - prevention better than cure. DD1's hair is kept tied back at all times. And we add tea tree oil to shampoo and conditioner. So far works very well. They seem to be rife at school but so far avoid DD1.

Re: nails - distract, grab hand, cut one ... and that's it till tomorrow, when we repeat the process. One a day is enough and makes it more of a routine thing. Same thing with toenails at bath time.

like the scissor warming idea Amber.
It's definitely the cuts at the back of his neck that he hated most.

Wonder if that might be a step too far for my friendly barber though!

Scissor warming and tea tree oil - two things I'll definitely try.

DS2 also hates water on his head or face - any ideas to help with this?

good thread... I keep putting off cutting ds's hair, but it is now at the point where he is peering under/through his fringe.. hair washing is a nightmare. I always try to cut his nails after a bath, so they are softer.

we just really battle ben to do these things, newark clarks does have a mechine too!

took ds to clarks today painless feet measuring he had to stand on platform and it measured his feet and he could watch it on screen no touching of feet needed

Thanks jenny - great to know that there's one here - last time we went for a fit there wasn't!

Great tip about warming the scissors amber, thank you. Its one of those things that makes a lot of sense, but you wouldn't think about doing iykwim.

Aefondkiss - know that well, dd is normally peering through her fringe too

Thanks everyone for sharing your tactics!

im sure there is, or there was last time we went but that was a year ago now i think, try phoning them first just in case!