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Everything I do and say is wrong according to ds

6 replies

Deeeja · 26/04/2009 20:29

I can no longer keep up the pretence. I am a rubbish parent. I don't know what to do with my 6 year old HFA ds.
He is aggressive, takes everything `i say the wrong way. I try to always take account of his literal understanding of language, but it seems I just can't get it right. Today I had to walk out of the room several times to hide my tears, s everything I said to him was met by the most awful aggression, he was frustrated, and all I did was upset him more and more. If I stayed quiet, he followed me around and talked, always expecting an answer, but everything I said was wrong, if I don't answer then I don't like him anymore, and if I do then I am "stupid" apparently.
If he did things he was not supposed to do, it was my fault for not including it in his list of rules, but how many rules can I write down, he always manages to find a loophole for everything, little rascal!
Am so exhausted! Apparently my 4 year old with autism is more severe, but he is a walk in the park compared with his brother who is always in some foul mood which gets worse and worse throughout the day. It doesn't hlep that I am more emotional than usual due to being pg(keep forgetting I am because not really focussing on it at all), I really am so tired. Social worker comeing round on Thursday, at last - only been waiting two years - hope to get some respite, for ds's sake more than anything!

OP posts:
HelensMelons · 26/04/2009 22:30

Dont believe for a minute that you are a rubbish parent Deeeja, things sound like they are really tough at the mo.

My Ds2 is 8 and HFA and I think he is exhausted, first week back after easter holidays, trying to join in games with ds1 and his friends, bloody overload.

It is really hard work at times, hope the SW can sort out some respite for you.

madmouse · 26/04/2009 23:07

Oh golly Deeeja, just wanted to post in support, have no experience or advice. But it sounds like you have a 6 year old teenager at his worst. It must be exhausting beyond belief.

amber32002 · 27/04/2009 10:28

Deeeja, you need some help with his behaviour, and so does he. He has to learn, stage by stage, that he cannot keep being negative and fault-finding with people. This isn't easy for us. Local autism charity might have an expert/trainer/helper who can lend a hand with this too? More later when my brain is working...

5inthebed · 27/04/2009 10:36

Deeeja, you're not a bad parent, just a very emotionally exhausted one.

My ds1 is nearly 6 and constantly talks and asks questions and never stops, so I can only imagine how much your DS1 talks. My DS2 has ASD as well and can have sensational meltdowns that last all day and at times I feel like the crappest parent on earth because nothing I do calms him down.

I hope SS can help you with some respite as you do sound as if you need it.

Take it as easy as you can, and congratulations on your pregnancy. Admittidly, I was pg last year with ds3, and was much like you are about forgetting about it, I was quite detached from it all tbh.

sc13 · 27/04/2009 12:45

Deeja, no concrete advice, but just to say, you're not a bad parent at all!!! You're a very good parent who's coping with a very difficult situation. I hope SS helps; do try to take some time off, even just to go for a walk.

amber32002 · 27/04/2009 16:27

Right, I think I have a working brain cell now., but I make no guarantees of this assertion

This is why the label "high functioning" can be so misleading. We can be harder work than some children with LFA.

OK, thoughts...and sorry for putting it in quotes but it helps me to think...

"If I stayed quiet, he followed me around and talked, always expecting an answer"

Unfortunately, people can be seen as utterly fascinating toys rather than people. If he talks, you say something. That's all he knows. You having needs doesn't occur to him, and because we can handle up to 100 repeats at a time without any problems, he can repeat a question 100 times without wanting to stop. He needs to be diverted onto something more entertaining than your answers, somehow. That's where an expert can help, looking at his specialist interests and working out how to get his attention fixed on something that gives you some breathing-space.

If he's getting really anxious/aggressive, he needs to be able to learn to find a quiet space where he can calm down. Have you tried a popup tent, a specialist autism weighted vest, etc? Can be very useful as a dark-low-sensory zone and a way of cancelling out the overload for him?

He has to learn that he's not allowed to say that people are 'stupid', or use things like "you don't like me any more". He's looking all the time at your reactions, and if he's getting you to be very animated if he says particular phrases, then that's why he'll repeat it - to see if you do it again. Not reacting is vital. And often just about impossible And him realising it's a bad thing for him to say things like this is vital. Again, an expert to help you work out how to divert that into useful comments so that he learns that better things happen if he's polite? And find safe non-violent ways to dissuade him from trying the rude/aggressive stuff.

As for lists of rules, how about you get him to help make them. If he's not so good with writing, make picture rules. That'll keep him occupied for hours, I'd say. He can invent rules for thousands of different situations, not only in the house, but for school or nursery or shopping or anything else. It's how we learn about the world, so it'll help him to think about bigger and bigger rules until he stops worrying so much about the smaller ones.

He's bright! If it's any consolation, he'll be lovely when he's older, or asleep
but you SO need some time just for you.

Had one like this - once he'd learned to talk. It was a trial!

You are definitely a good parent. This is just autism stuff, not a reflection of your parenting skills. Fear not.

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