Ooo yes, shock is definitely the right word, even if people have already suspected it. I guess most people hope that the consultant will say "Nothing to see here - move along please ". When they say "Ah well actually yes, it's an ASD (autism spectrum disability/difference)", people do indeed respond by imitating a goldfish/bursting into tears/going all shaky/needing a strong cuppa.
But we're not that bad. I'm an adult with an ASD. I'm a mum, married to a man with an ASD. Many (not all) of us do mature eventually into fairly sensible people (no debating that point please )
It's good news, as you say, because it means the family can find ways that work. So can he. So can the school. But it's a steep learning curve, or rather an unlearning curve, since you also have to unlearn all the things that apply to NT ('normal') children and relearn all the things that work for children with an ASD.
Where to start...the National Autistic Society has good advice, info, links to local support centres and charities, books etc. Their recommended books list is pretty good.
How old is your nephew? I'd say the Freaks Geeks and Asperger syndrome book is alarmingly titled, but really worth a read. Very funny in places, and very useful. Written by a teenage lad with an ASD.
Have a look at the Tony Attwood website. Easy to find by putting his name into a search engine. He's an expert on Asperger syndrome and has a lot of positive things to say about it.
"We know it affects more the social, emotional & behavioural aspects but in most cases not the academic/ mental abilities."
Umm, not exactly. Hmm, how best to describe this. We're specialists. Extreme specialists. Our brains are wired for extreme speed, but almost no ability to multi-task. If you start with that understanding, you can see that it can and does affect almost any part of life, including academic stuff. But in curious ways.
Social things? Your brain can automatically check for any and all body language, facial expressions, eye contact, tone of voice, where people are pointing, what the hidden meanings in their sentences are. You can calculate this for a whole group of people all at once. We just get a wall of noise and people moving strangely. And it hurts, too - it's like someone plugging every single appliance in your house into just one socket. It'd overheat. So do our brains.
We need to focus on just one thing at a time, just one person at a time, and then on just either listening to them, or watching them, not both.
But goodness me, we're often brilliant at noticing detail, sensing things you can't see, hear, smell, taste etc. Those sensory issues that many of us have can work in our favour as well as being a nightmare if we can't switch off from them fast enough.
It's fascinating stuff. Not easy, but fascinating.
Much to learn, for everyone. Plenty of lovely people here to help, too.