Anyone else dealing with oversensitivity/emotional behaviour?

[ChopsTheDuck]

ds1 is becoming more and more draining. Over the past year or two he has gone from pretty much not displaying emotion at all (tended to not cry, or respond to anything around him) to overeacting to everything. Ont he way home from school he was stroppy and bad tempered. Got home and he was suddenly heart broken because he realised he had forgotten his yoghurt in his lunch. Then went into giggly mode, then when I refused video games he decided the world had ended. Floods of tears, inconsolable and now has taken himself off to bed where I prob won't be able to move him or get a word out of him for hours. That's the most popular one and can come out of the blue.

He seems to find it really hard to deal with anything, and I try to be patient because I know he can't help it, but it's really grating on me, and sometimes I just want to scream! I think it's a mixture of the up and down and the heart broken sobs over any little thing that is drivign me up the wall, plus I do want to help him learn to cope better with things. I don't have a clue what to do though!

i understand your frustration. DS1 is ADHD and his emotions were permanently on a roller-coaster, flip-flopping from one extreme to another and back again at the drop of an 'H'!

Its absolutely exhausting isnt it, trying to keep up?

I never worked out a way of calming the ups or downs - the only thing that was a sanity saver was knowing that this behaviour wasnt personal, it wasnt anything i had or hadnt done, and certainly wasnt aimed at me. but boy it was hard work.

Hes 16yrs now and much better, but in the last couple of weeks he seems to have just found teenage angst and is moody and hyper again, not the way he was before, but moodier rather than heartbroken or bouncing off the walls. I think his emotions eased a bit around age 10ish, is that a comfort or horror???

Yes, we have this too. DS2 (8,asd, prob adhd) gets really heartbroken at things that, appear to me, as pretty trivial, of course, they aren't to him. He has been enjoying kicking this week, unfortunately but we're only back to school after the Easter holidays so it's another change of routine.

DS1 (nt ,9) has actually been worse this week - I had a meltdown on a whole different scale. He was tired after being away all weekend with his cousin. It was awful; actually don't know how I held it together; I was exhausted on tuesday.

We do. We can have floods of tears then hysterical laughter within seconds of each other. Or even a bit of both. The smallest things, misunderstandings, etc.

DD also saves it up. She will cry at the time, but then when she sees someone special later, she bursts into tears as she tells them what happened. Does anyone else have that?

DS2 (ASD) is very much like this. I will offer him a drink of juice, he says no so I don't get him any, then he will breakdown because he DID want one. He is quite capable of saying yes, so not entirely sure why he is saying no

nooo, don't tell me it can get worse!

lou, ds1 sometimes saves it up too, but he wont cry att he time. Last week we went to a holiday club and as we left he burst into floods because he hadnt had a snack. Why he didn't jsut ask at the time I really don't know... I wonder if a lot of it is communication issues.
ds1 is so tired from school, it makes things worse. I'm probably aggravating it by making him walk, cos it's sunny weather and I want to walk and he is getting even more tired.

Yes this sounds like my 6 year old. Unpredictable, rollercoaster. Exhausting!

Yep this is our main issue. I find it really annoying if I'm berating DS1 (5.7) for unacceptable behaviour and he's sitting there giggling. So I then make it more stern (in the hopes I might get through) and then I get floods of tears and collapsing on the floor!!

And as for the dissolving into tears for no reason (in the middle of tescos - god knows what people thought I was doing to him!!).. drives me nuts. If reasoning does not work (which it doesn't 90% of the time)I try to ignore it and distract him with something completely different. This works surprisingly well.... for the moment!

BR
PS actually picking him up by his ankles and swinging him round works too (fits of giggles) but I only tend to do that I home lest I get reported!!

PPS not sure I could do the last one with a 16 year old!!

ooh ds gets the giggles too, but then I cant help laughing at him, and have to hide it! I think he is trying to distract ME.

I think if i tried to swing him round the air I'd get punched! That worries me actually, he lashes out at his siblings and is yet to hit me. But sometimes I can see in his face how close he is to it. I think it is only a matter of time.

This morning he hid in bed for a bit, then went chirpy. Goine off to school in a good mood, but it's PE today so he'll def be tired and grumpy later.

Yes I know what you mean. Can definetely see it in his face. But then he gives a look like Clint Eastwood so I think anyone can see it coming. (slit eyes and gritted teeth).

Luckily we have not had any lashing out as such (that must be awkward to deal with) but he does throw/hit things especially when he can't get something to work/open/do what he wants.

I must admit I don't let this go as I see this as unacceptable behaviour and am trying to teach him to take a deep breath/control his over reaction and ask an adult if he has a problem. If I see him do it, I confiscate what ever it is. My main fear is that he'll hurt himself or the baby or someone else. I don't tell him it's naughty or anything just that it's not nice and not acceptable to behave in this way.

Got I sound like an awful cotrolling mother

BR

you don't sound awful at all. I think it is hard to draw the line sometimes, between making allowances for sn, and not letting them get away with murder!

Spot on!

How old is your DS? Do you have a DX for him?

BR

BR, he is 6, dx of hypermobility syndrome and dyspraxia with social and communication difficulties. Quite severe dyspraxia,

About the same age then.

DX in January of social communication disorder (ASD) and some hypermobility and lack of core strength/stability. Said he was 'more able end of the spectrum', whatever that means!!

Have an OT appointment in June which will investigate the mobility and core strength issues (which we were not aware of) and sensory issues, which I think are quite mild.

I don't know a lot about dyspraxia and it has not been mentioned on his assessment report, but I am beginning to wonder if this may be an issue. He has problems using a scooter, and I've seen 3 year olds better co-ordinated. (No way I'm taking the stabilisers of his little bike yet!)

Does your DS have any sensory issues? How does the dyspraxia affect him?

Sorry to be so nosey but he does sound very similar to my DS1

BR

the OT appointment should help clarify a lot for you I would expect.

Don't worry about the nosiness, doesn't bother me in the least.
ds1 can't find a bike, even with stabilisers, just keeps toppling it. His pelvis tilts the wrong way due to hypermobility which prob doesnt help. He can't find a scooter netiher, he constantly puts his foot to the ground, then ends up in a heap usually sitting on it! He has jsut got his 5m swimming with a float certificate, after lots of work. It really takes it out of him though, usually can't weight bear afterwards, and jsut keeps falling over, like a sort of jelly! The dts are 3 are much more able than him physically and can push him over very easily.

sensory issues have got a LOT better. Used to cover ears with loud noises all the time, refused to eat any runny food, wouldn't wear anythign apart from one pair of pants. Still doesn't like restrictive clothing, so most things are way too big. He has always been pretty good at shutting down when things get too much on the sensory side - takes himself off to hide somewhere. Just not good at handling emotional issues!

I do soemtiems wonder if he needs dxing with autism too. His swim teacher thinks he is ( a qualified primary teacher), and when he is off on one he certainly presents that way. Just had to drag him home while he jumped around like a lunatic, grunted to himself, rolled his head around, pulled faces, refused eye contact, and repeated everythign I said. Always worse when he is tired.

Hi Chops.. your DS sounds so much like my DS1. 5m is excellent! Well done your DS.
Oh yes to the jelly thing. DS1 says 'I'm all floppy mummy' and collapses in a heap.

DS1 loves the pool but can't swim for toffee, which depresses me a bit as I'm a very strong swimmer.

LOL. The scooter is funny though. He just doesn't get the push and balance thing. But he can run and ride his bike with stabilisers so if he does has dyspraxia it is very mild.

I've read a little bit about it now and he does have some of the classic problems. Can use a fork but not a knife, drawing is very immature and writing pretty bad. Can't seem to hold a pen properly and seems to forget how to also.

As you say, hopefully the OTs will shed some more light on his DX.

mmm to your DS and Autistic traits... these are definitely some of DS1's tricks, going loopy and making sill noises and pulling funny faces. Copying what you say to an annoying degree. Do you have any appointments on the horizon?

BR

OT and ed psych are due. Paed is now on an as and when basis which I'm not entirely happy with. My plan is to see what happens when he moves up to the junior school and see what they think of him. ATM he is getting all the support he needs at school, so not too worried about more dxs. Just sometimes feel a bit left to get on with it all at home!

I know how you feel about the swimming thing. We as a family enjoy cycling, and our youngest are now at a stage where we could start doing it as a family maybe, but we have the big problem of what to do with ds1. Too big to go on a tag along or anything now and even if we invested in a sn bike, it would be impossible to transport.

btw the forgetting how to hold a pen sounds a lot like ds1, he finds it hard to retain things. Even with speech, he forgets nouns and verbs which is very frustrating for him. I remember as well the drawing thing was one of the first things that they picked up on back before ds1 was dx.

this checklist is good if you do suspect dyspraxia, and some of the symptoms on there clearly show the overlap with autism. ds1 has jsut about all of those, cept he does enjoy a little lego and jigsaws.

Never seen an Ed psych. What exctly can they help with? School have been very helpful and since his DX we now have an IEP and he has 10 mins each morning either 1 to 1 or with a small group.

oh yes looked at this list yesterday after we swapped posts. Half and half really. Very verbal from an early age. Very advanced speech according to SALT but still talks in tongues some of the time. Both my boys are bum shufflers, but then it runs in the family (no pun intended).

Wouldn't touch jig saws until quite recently and my DS1 likes lego too. As for buttons and lace - LOL, if he was even to attempt them I'd be happy.

How does he do with activities? Do you get the 'you do it mummy' and 'I'm bored now' at all?

BR

it was our ed psych who first suggested dyspraxia might be an issue (before we thought asd), and helped with the IEP. They ran a very full assessment on him, though I wasn't there so don't know all the details of it.

with activities, he has no concentration at all, so doesnt tend to stick at anything involving sitting for very long (causes problems at school!). Most things don't interest him at all, with him it's constantly 'I have nothign to do'. Doesn't play with toys, has no imagination for creative play. Only thing he likes to do really is video games which he is completely obsessed by. One of these days I am going to make a bonfire and burn the games consoles!

LOL. Well that shows some dexterity and a hell of a lot of hand eye co-ordination then! DS1 is deprived as we have only just bought our first console (Wii) and he has only played it once. Well, got us to play it for him!! He does use my laptop for cbeebies though so I know we could end up that way too!

We have never seen an Ed psych nor do I know where/how we would. We were referred directly to a paed and then had an assessment with Paed,OT and SALT which gave us our DX, which I am still a bit hazy on to be honest.

Does your DS like music/musicals? Will be concentrate on a film/telly?

BR
PS May not reply for a while as don't tend to have time to go on line at the weekends.

PPS. Have a nice weekend!!

our ed psych I think was arranged by the senco at school.

did you have a good weekend? I rarely get on at weekends neither. Took them to legoland yesterday (jsut down the road from us). They had great fun, and ds1 caused mass pile ups on the driving school.

He loves watching football, and likes spongebob. That's about it! He will watch tv but would rather not. Actualyl I have to be ultra careful as to what he does watch. He is prone to nightmares, and he is so sensitive the slightest thing in a PG can set him off. Which is a shame, because U films are too babyish so it's no wonder he wont watch tv.

What are you hazy on with the dx?

Lovely weekend thanks. Wow legoland! With all of them?? 4 isn't it? Cool. And you had lovely weather. Was pregnant when we went there so couldn't go on a anything. Did your DS1 go on the rides? Mine is scared of water rides.

DS1 loves TV and film. Would watch all day if I let him. He used to get upset (when one of the trucks got smashed in Thomas he was inconsolable!) But doesn't seem to have a problem now and is happy to watch most things as long as he has a sword or gun to protect himself (and one of us close by). Have you tried letting him have something to "Scare the baddies"/protect himself? Or is that a bad idea?

Well they say he has a social communication disorder and is on the spectrum. Although I understand the tests used in the assessment, and there is no doubt there is something going on which is not NT, there are so many things which are OK I really am beginning to doubt the DX. It's difficult as I don't want to seem like I'm denying there is an issue with his behaviour, but I'm just not sure they've got it right. I suppose it doesn't really matter as he is getting some 1 to 1 at school and they are very helpful, but it would be nice to know... just so I know what to expect from him I suppose.

I have the afternoon off so catch you tomorrow. Thanks for your support .

BR
Did you get sunburnt??