DD with aspergers having awful panic attacks

[briarrose]

Hi everyone,

feeling very emotional so likely to rant a bit! My lovely DD (11) with aspergers has begun to have panic attacks, well I say begun, they have been intermitent for about a year. She has probably had about 3, possibly 4, and they focus around dying and the prospect of being dead "forever". We have handled it in various ways and talked with her about all her fears, but my worry is this; the last time she had one before tonight she was manic, actually shrieking and crying until we calmed her down. Tonight it happened again and she was going manic again and trying to get out of the room/get away somewhere. I managed to calm her down quite quickly by getting her to the window, as I know from experience that panic attacks can make you feel claustrophobic. And bless her, she managed to get herself out of it admirably, quickly, and with no screaming. But afterwards we were discussing it and she mentioned that at the time she wanted to jump out of the window. As it is it would be physically impossible for her to do that out of our windows, they are too high, and normally she is incredibly sensible and would never willingly put herself in danger. But what really concerns me is that she didn't want to hurt herself, she just wanted to go out of the window, to get away from the panic I suppose. Realistically this has only ever happened at night but I am now terrified that it could happen elsewhere, where i'm not there, and she could do something silly. Who do I speak to about this? what do I do? I was so scared when she told me that I could have sobbed, my mind just raced. I think I may take her to the doctors but I don't really know why, I don't want her on medication.
OOOOOhhhh, this is so hard, I really really feel for the poor kid

egads your daughter has a worse version of what im cureently going through
the content of her episodes concenring death and being gone, could be from a lack of a lagecy
you could try to aleiviate that by having her details carved into a box and making a time capsule so part of her would remain

i know my own panic attcks and depression focus along these lines.

sorry if my text is hard to follow im quite sedated currently
hope this helps
best wishes
wraith

briarrose, it's a difficult one. Growing up as a child with an ASD, I had panic attacks for many years, so can understand how your dd feels.

Do they happen after a particularly stressful or different sort of day than her usual ones? What's changed in her life, what routines are different? Any ideas?

I find that although I hate being in an enclosed space like a cave, if I'm panicking, it helps me to wrap myself in something like a duvet, really tightly. I can control it, and it seems to cancel out the fear and overload. Worth her trying, if she wishes to?

I guess the questions about death are big ones for any of us, and the trouble is that we're very logical. It might be easier for NT folk (non-ASD!) to put such concerns out of their thoughts, but for us it's a very real question. I solved mine with a good knowledge of religion, so I no longer believe that death is the end. That helped me enormously, but faith is of course a very personal matter for each individual and not something that can be 'prescribed' as an answer.

Not sure if any of that helps, but if necessary I'd say a visit to the doctors might be an idea. They might refer on to a decent autism specialist, for example, who can help her to reason this through in some suitable way?

My ASD ds aged 12 has had anger 'meltdowns' which then turn into a kind of panic attack (I think) where he hates himself, gets short of breath and feels dizzy.

One thing that has sometimes helped, and can often reach him when nothing else can, is for me to suggest that he and I - just the two of us - sit and watch a favourite DVD together.
Somehow the escapism of it allows him to move on from whatever confusing place he is in.
He 'loses himself' in the DVD and within minutes he is calmer, within half an hour sometimes laughing and relaxed (although exhausted, as am I).
I realise this is a different situ completely from your dd, but it might be worth trying as a short term fix.
For the bigger issue Amber3 has as usual given constructive and sensible advice.

oh you poor things (both of you)...it's horrible isn't it.
Ds (11) has done this twice over the years.
Holding him very tightly (enveloping him) has helped for us. He's getting rather big for me to do this actually. I may invest in a weighted blanket and try that for use that at home.
When he was little he used to use a pop up type tent sometimes to get away from things...i'm kind of wondering if a sort of 'safe area' like this with the blankets would be good.(we still have the tent...i may get it out again)
It's a worry isn't it? Ds is capable of anything when he is 'wild eyed' like this.
I wonder if cahms could help you at all...i know they mentioned help with phobias and anxiety should we need it in the future.

Hi briarose

How scary for you and dd.

Amber's advice to try and trace back any change/conversation/event prior to the attack is very good. Write it down if you can, which might sound a bit mad, but something that sounds insignificant could be more meaningful on paper iykwim. Start from the attack and work backwards. If you do get this done, keep it and see if there's any commonality if she has another one in the future.

My ds2 likes his back being stroked but if in a meltdown prefers to hide under his duvet.

Tclanger is also spot on about breathing. Also there are strategies like nose tapping, or tapping your thighs, left thigh, then right thigh rhythmically iykwim.

The mental health section here on mn might also have some other suggestions that might be helpful.

Otherwise Wraith's suggestion of time capsule, something concrete for her to do to ally her fears or perceived threat. Her Planting something that will grow forever - sounds daft - I'm going now before you fall asleep!

hi everyone, please excuse the last post, my dd thought it was funny to do that!

Aw your poor DD, i can identify with her,as i have AS and can remember from a very early age being worried that my dad was going to die and my mum and that i was, i also used to think it about DS when he was a baby.

ive thought about it and realised that when i used to think about stuff like that was when i was depressed,nowadays i recognise it straightaway but i couldnt do that as a child, also for us on the spectrum,we like to analyse everything and need/want to know the whys and the wherefores of everything, and death is the biggest fear of mankind.

i know a lady who had CBT to overcome her fear of death and it worked for her,but i also agree with amber about maybe trying to get her some help from camhs or another specialist?????