Could this behaviour have anything to do with Aspergers at all?

[IheartNY]

My Ds1 is 3.5.
He has very recently been assessed by my HV who agrees with me that he shows some signs of Aspergers and is being referred to a paediatrician for further assessment.
No appt through as yet.

Ds has been behaving terribly lately and there are two things in particular that are driving me spare. I was in tears when he went to bed tonight as we've had such a bad day.

The first thing is that he cannot seem to stop running off/hiding/touching or throwing things if we go anywhere like a shop or a cafe or a supermarket. I've had to buy a double pram that he only just fits into as I literally cannot control him without it when I am out on my own with Ds1 and Ds2.

The second thing is that he seems to wet himself randomly for no reason. He has been potty trained for 9 months now. Most days he's fine although he has the odd accident if too engrossed in somethng or too far away from the toilet which I know is normal.
Some days though he just seems to have no control of himself.
This afternoon he wet his trousers twice at home, then sat on the sofa and just looked down and wee'd and watched it! I told him off for that. Then we went up for bath time. He got out the bath was sitting right next to the bloody toilet and just wee'd all over the bath mat!
Last time he went through a phase of doing it I took him to the Drs and had his wee tested in case he had a UTI but nothing!

Why would he be acting like this? He seems to act more like a 1.5 year old than a 3.5 year old!
Could it be something linked with Aspergers (if he even has it!)? or is he just badly behaved/I am a crap crap mother?

I would say the running off and touching things could be linked with Aspergers, dd1 likes to touch things (i think its a sensory thing).

As for the wetting, i would say a lot of children go through this stage, my neighbours little girl does it when she's to busy to ask to go.

Hmmmm, sounds like he is trying to assert himself, pressing all the right buttons and the end result is the bad day. Get yourself some wine/chocolate, stop beating yourself up and when you are able to, think calmly about everything leading up to the horrors of the day. When my DD was a similar age & if I told her off she would shout "I'm going to wee on the floor" and then would! Thankfully it was a phase though at the time I felt it would last forever. He may just be after your attention however badly he is behaving but you sound like a nice mum. Bases covered for further help if he does have aspergers. And that must be a huge stress in itself, what with appointments hanging over you and another little one to look after. Courage!

This sounds just like my 6 yr old ds, he has HFA.
At that age he would have alot of accidents, and would stand next to the loo and just wee down his legs. He seemed to have no control. He would always wet and soil himself at nursery, and always seem shocked by what had happened.
He also used to throw things where ever he went, and still does this. He also feels the need to run around and touch everything, and generally bounces around everywhere. I think it is a sensory thing, and in new places he is accustomising himself to the new space. At 3 years old he would run around circling any space, becuase he couldn't cope with the space. If I let him he would settle down after visiting the place a few times. He still does this now, only now he is bigger and faster.
He also did alot of running off, I used reins constantly. Which he hated, but I had no choice.
My 4 year old autistic son has less understanding and is far worse than his brother was at that age.
But your ds sounds like my 6 year old.

don't know if this is relevant, but i think some children who are on the spectrum or who have autistic traits will have good days and bad days. i wonder if the days when your ds is having lots of accidents are also days when his other traits seem worse than usual?

Does the wetting coincide with any change in routine - holiday from preschool, weekends etc?
My DS1 has a DX of ASD and is 3.6. He tends to go the other way and hold his wee in all day(!) when things go out of kilter for him. e.g. until very recently DP being home all day on Sunday (he works Mon-Sat) he would go all day without a wee - he enjoys the time with his dad but the change to his normal day unsettled him. Especially as I try and wrangle a lie-in so DP sorts out breakfast etc

Supermarkets, cafe's etc? Well, I'm an adult mum with an ASD, and those are my absolute nightmares too.

Why? Well, this is something I wrote about it a while back on here, if it helps. Our senses are often hypersensitive to things you can't hear or see, which makes the whole environment very, very different for us. Supermarkets and cafe's are designed to appeal to all your senses so you buy things, but that same marketing-overload is what pushes us clean over the proverbial edge:

"Into the supermarket, and into a wall of noise. Announcements, fridges whirring, people chattering, tills beeping. The smells hit me as well - bakery, fish, meat, veg, fruit, new clothing. Smellier than standing in a perfume factory for me. And the sights, too: Everything is stacked high with colours, patterns, flashing lights. Overwhelming...just SO overwhelming.

And there's a cleaning machine somewhere, beeping noisily, leaving reflective lines on the floor that are very scary to cross. Well, they are. Can't explain it better than that.

Then there's the people. Loads of them. And I probably know loads of them, too, since I've lived here for years, but I can't recognise who they are. (our brains often don't work properly for recognising people, their body language, or their tone of voice)

I can't go down the aisle for pasta as there's a flickering light over it, which is like a strobe light for me and makes me feel totally overwhelmed, so that's something I'll have to do without this week."

What to buy? So many choices, and I have no idea which is the right one from all the identical ones. For us, choosing something similar from lots of other similar things can take all the mental effort we have. The sound of a distant alarm from a till is louder than a siren to me. The noise from people talking, the unexpected jostling from people trying to get past, it all adds up to some sort of nightmare scene for us.

It's why children with an ASD often go wild or resort to extreme repetitive behaviours in a supermarket or cafe or shopping mall. Not always, but often.

I find it helps me to be able to plan what I will do so that I know as much as possible about the shop and what will happen in it - so I think a visual chart for a child can help, e.g. pictures of the things you'll need, in the order you'll find them in that shop, so he can help find them with you. Er, unless they've moved them all to a different place (eek!). And knowledge of which aisles you'll go up and down in which order, and picking the quietest time you can.

And get a cake for yourself for afterwards - you'll have earned it!

As for the wee thing, I think he's using it as a science experiment as well as occasionally just not noticing. Others may have wiser words than me right now - brain's a bit non-functional...