bad mum

[hunnybun1981]

does anyone feel they are?

some days i feel like i shout and dont relax around my sn daughter and non sn daughter.

last year i went through a phase when my daughter was diagnosed but also we were nursing my grandfather who was dieing of cancer.

not your typical granda very succesful business man and it wasnt expected but it was a long drawn out process.

i was with him when he took his last breath loved him so much and i was so proud of him, i think he knew this

sorry to get to the point i was prescribed anti depressents and i felt better and also coped better on them

i weaned myself of them not long after his death, but there r days when i feel i would be better on them, as i get so frustrated , could be due to tiredness etc, but others days i am grand.

Oh yes, often felt like I was a bad mum.

Wonder if it's worth you chatting to a friendly GP about how you're feeling? I know that grief can take a long time and hit you when you least expect it, and sometimes a bit of counselling or some short term antidepressants can give you a boost? You've been through a lot. Maybe you need to find new ways to realise that you're doing a great job as a mum even if it doesn't feel like it at times, and that your children love you just the same no matter if you're having a shouty day or not. (We all do! You should have heard me yell at mine yesterday when I got stressed out ). I'm sure your Grandad was proud of you just for being you. Hold onto that thought...

I feel like this at least once a week so know how you feel. I feel worse for doing it to my NT DS though a I sometimes feel I put too much on him, and he is only 5.

I'll not go much into it, but my FIL was dx with cancer just after DS2's dx and died within 4 weeks. It was a very hard time trying to deal with a few issues, but I found talking to peole really helped.

You might feel better talking to you GP, or a friend, or maybe even getting some councilling for how you are feeling. Maybe even go back on your AD's and stay on them longer than you think neccessary.

Thank you both for your kind words

its good to know that i am only human and that other mums arent perfect either.

my hubby always thanks me for doing stuff and says i am a great mum.

i dont want to go back on a/d's i have bought the herbal kalms lol (so c how they go )

i have also started doing a lot of exercise which helps chill me out.

5inthebed sorry about ur fil, its so horrible and when its quick its worse at least we all knew and were expecting it, such a horrible disease.

i think bcus it is the easter hols it is worse as my sn daughter is off school.

I have times of feeling down and shouting at both kids.

5inthebed, I feel guilty for expecting my 5 year old to keep an eye on her older sister and expecting her to know exactly how to behave when I am trying to give my older daughter medication or to calm her down to go off in her taxi etc.

Hunnybun,I walk my friend's dogs 3/4 times a week and find this excellent for relaxing. Exercise has a really positive effect on stabilising mood.

Hi hunnybun

Sounds like things have been pretty tough.

You had a double whammy last year with the dx of your dd and loss of your grandad so be kind to yourself (I know, easier said than done).

If you do give some sort of counselling a consideration use this website: www.bacp.co.uk

It's the British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists - click into your area and they should come up with a list. BACP regulates practice iykwim.

Apart from that, I do feel like an absolutely crap mum at times - too much shouting, worried about the future, etc and I have a bloody good cry. Some sort of exercise is a really good idea; however, today I am hoping to do a bit of retail therapy (which normally I hate) but I may pass Waterstones.