Feel stabbed in the back.

[Frasersmum123]

I have tow friends who I met on another, smaller forum. We MSN and chat and we meet up quite regually as we live quite close

Last nite I ound out that one of them has been slagging me off, saying that she doesnt think that DS is ASD, and that Im making it up! She has worked with children for a few years and feels that she can make this diagnosis because Fraser is well behaved and not aggressive, plus Fraser loves cuddles from me and having his hair stroked.

I wanted to confront her about it but I wont, but im just really upset. Fraser is difficlut to deal with, and I am not making up all the problems we have.

stupid cow. offer to show her the correspondence, that will make her wind her neck in. if you still want to be friends with her.

Poor you . You don't need friends like this, really you don't. Who is she to say that your ds doesn't have ASD? Not all children with ASd are violent and withdrawn.At my ds2's review his Ep described him as a very sociable ASD child.

I got rid of a "nasty friend" a few weeks ago, and I'm still hurt by it, but I know that it is or the best.

Maybe the best thing for you to have a word with her is on MSN, as you'll be able to say what you want without getting flustered.

Very common too - All my friends told me 'DS1' could not be ASD because

ASD children are taller
ASD children all have green skin
ASD children like to breed greyhounds

Ok I made those up - but the real suggestions were just as daft !

She is not a friend is she?
I'd probably just cool the friendship tbh

"She has worked with children for a few years and feels that she can make this diagnosis because Fraser is well behaved and not aggressive, plus Fraser loves cuddles from me and having his hair stroked"

Goddness, she has such a clear idea of what consitutes an ASD diagnosis, doesn't she? (Sarcasm). For what it's worth apart from the hair stroking Ds1 is as you describe with Fraser and his diagnosis is not in question.

It is odd. I have an absolutely lovely friend who seems to feel the need to challenge the fact that DS2 has receptive language delay.

What a load of shit. Cos of course, kids with asd are all exactly the same, aren't they? That's why they call it a spectrum.

Thanks everyone.

I suppose I am most upset at the fact that she thinks I am the kind of person who would make this up.

Apparently she also said that I am very negative towards DS2's behavior and always see him as a problem, which isnt true at all. I just know what to look for.

It all came about because she asked us if we wanted to join Music with Mummy classes with her and I said no because Fraser doesnt like people singing, which is true, however if he gets upset and I sing quietly to him twinkle twinkle' it does calm him down, so she said I was lying because im always singing to him - I tried to explain its just that song, but she just pulled a face like this and obviously then started slagging me off!

I hope the woman never works with a child of mine! Sounds to me as though she's got a chronic case of verbal diarrhoea.

Hi Frasersmum

for someone"who has worked with children for a few years" she knows F* all. She hasn't been listening to you.

Sorry for the language but this has touched a raw nerve had a similar incident with family over my DS2's little quirks - apparently I "need to distinguish between what is what" - like I don't know my own child. AAAARRRGGH

Rant over.

What a stupid woman!
I have lost a few 'friends' due to the same reasons.
I don't really understand what motivates people like this. All I can think of is in my case, they have obviously disliked me for some time, I just never noticed for a while.
I am better off with out these sort of people, and so will you be.
Honestly, they are all mad!

Oh its hard isnt it?

Ive got a new one today, "could it be because he's bored"

Well, of the HUNDREDS of children with ASD that I have worked with, I have not come across two that are the same yet.

Its amazing how much people have to worry about other peoples reactions to situations we have to deal with and we are okay with. I have just found out i am dypraxic however I am okay with it, its telling others cause there reactions are more over the top and analysing then others. Not to be so rude, but stuff them, there is no point in worrying about it as they are are just trying to take it in and proberly either get it too much, or not at all.

Hello. I am new to the SN boards and spotted this one.

My DS2 has developmental delay and language delay. It has just been suggested to me that he may have ASD although the mild end of the spectrum.

I said 'oh no he is very affectionate and imaginative' shows how much I know hey?

Anyway - I get this comment often 'theres nothing wrong with him, hes lovely'.

I HATE that comment. Like I think there is something 'wrong' with him and he isnt lovely

Amazing how many child development experts there are out there

I used to get that attitude a lot but now that he runs around flapping most of the time it's stopped! I believe flapping is often transient so, due to his good eye-contact, affectionate nature etc, I'm sure it will all start up again one day!

I get that too, chegirl. My dd is verbal, and knows her nursery rhymes cd like the back of her hand. All she does all day long is sing. Ask her a question, it goes straight over her head. Turn the wrong way down a street, she goes wappy. She doesn't play creatively at all. [i could go on...] But, look, she knows the words to 'pussy cat pussy cat' at 2 - there's nothing wrong with her, she's lovely'

My DS chats away now. His speech is quite unorganised but he can say words clearly. He get the first sounds mixed up i.e. m and n, p and v. His hearing is fine though.

So he can talk for ages about superman or dr who. But ask him a question and he just cant cope. If its one he has practised i.e. how old are you? he is fine. If someone says 'where did you get your shoes from?' he will not have a clue what you are asking, let alone how to answer it.

I dont think most people understand that LD is complicated. Kids have gaps in understanding/ability rather than a blanket lack of understanding/ability.

I hate the feeling that I am somehow trying to pursuade someone that there IS something wrong with my son. I am not. I just want them to understand that he has certain difficulties.

Hair stroking? Excellent! One of my favourite things, as long as it's not with an actual hairbrush. And I'm well behaved. And I sometimes like a hug if I know it's going to happen from someone I really know and trust, and I've agreed to it.

So much for her 'knowledge', eh? Not a clue.

Chegirl - thats exactly how I feel, like I have to convince people. Im tired of hearing 'there is nothing wrong with him' or 'Boys are just lazy'

frasersmum, i know how you feel. we are just at the beginning of the asd assessment process with ds (2.6). i've give up trying to 'convince' people and now use another approach. "we think ds is showing signs of an asd and so do all the professionals hes seen ie HV,Dr,SALT and paed as well as his key worker at nursery. so we are leaving it up to the experts to carry out the appropriate tests" and then change the subject.
even when you just want to shout "keep your opinions to yourself,you know FA!"