Help! Coping with SN toddler and new baby!

[laumiere]

Plaintive post to the mums who now have 2 or more DCs! I'm really struggling with the transition now my DS2 Gabe is 6w and wants more attention. DS1 is almost 3 and disabled (CP) so poor Gabe seems to be an afterthought all the time (eg I can't just sit and talk to him for 30 min). He also feeds a LOT so DS1 doesn't get much 1:1 time either!

Can't easily wear Gabe and play with DS1 as DS1 is very strong (and heavy!) and needs constant physio adjustment. DS1 can play on his own, but can't really initiate games. Reading is also tricky as G is usually in my lap feeding so DS1 tries to fit toO!

Anyone else experienced this/have suggestions?

Oh dear, I know how you feel. My DS2 is 3.6 and ASD and DS3 is 19 weeks now, so getting easier to deal with. The first few months are hard, as it would be if your DS1 was NT, so try not to feel so bad about it.

I usually put DS3 in his bouncy chair when spending time on the floor with DS2 so that he is involved. When feeding DS3 I have a supply of books to hand, mainly ones with button that make noise so that if DS2 wants to sit on me (which isn't possible with a feeding baby) I have him a book to keep him occupied those few minutes it takes for a feed.

And I also hate to sugest it, but Cbeebies is also a godsend for those few stolen minutes you gett o pend with the new baby.

Is there anybody who can take your DS1 for an hour or so to help you out?

Fio, yes he goes afternoons Mon to Thurs but is on Easter break.

It's hard though, my PN group are a lot of new mums and they seem to spend loads of time with theirs!

Oh this was me nearly 2 years ago, people kept saying wear DS2 in a sling but because I was always having to move DS1 or pick him up I really couldn't. DS2 also fed a lot. I can't actually think what I did but just remember that 'it's just a phase' - 'cause it really is!
It helped a bit when ds1 started nursery when ds2 was 8 months or so but that bought with it it's own problems. However they are now playing sort of happily together upstairs and I am on here so it's all working out.
This stage is hard, don't compare yourself to all the other mum's - I found it slightly easier to think of myself having twins, as they both needed so much from me, one was just in a bigger, heavier body and could talk more!
Congratulations on your new baby!

Thanks for the kind words, I think the twins idea is the most help to me at least! DS1 is still in a pushchair (Major Elite) so DS2 is in a sling to go out (we're waiting til he's big enough for a Revelo) so going out is fine but it'a the being at home part which is tricky...

I found a swing a great help, somewhere you could put the baby and have afew minutes to deal with other DC. It will get easier.

io have other way round problem ds is my youngest and try to juggle to give older dc time