A comment Jimjams made has really got me thinking

[Blossomhill]

I can't even remember where or why she had posted this comment but it was along the lines of that a pead. she had seen said it was the parents with HFA/AS kids that suffered the most stress. The reason being that there children could do everything that the mainstream kids did but obviously were "different".
Now again sorry if that isn't exactly what you said Jimjams but it has made so much sense to me and I keep thinking about it.
Dd doesn't have either of those dx but is along the same lines of language disorder/communication disorder that type of thing.
Well we were at a party today and I was thinking how true the comment was. I see my dd as being so close to being nt but just not enough, she doesn't seem to fit IYKWIM
At this party she was trying so hard to play with the other kids but was just acting slightly different and I think only I really noticed.
I don't even know if this makes any sense but thought I'd post anyway.

Mrs F, I understand your anger and frustration with your extended family members. I have had my fair share of comments.....the "beat to behave" being the worst one from my Mother, who is commonly known as "The She Dragon".

My 3 year old nephew is proudly displayed infront of me and I have all the wonderous things he can do shoved down my kneck....and then they have the cheek to compare him to J.....not nice and it hurts.

I am fortunate enough that I live 200 miles away from them so have total control over when and if we pay them a visit....which is very rarely.

Just a thought.....last christmas I bought all the members of my family a "special" present from J. It was a copy of The Curious Incident.....
(my mother was lucky and she got two books...."Curious" and a copy of "How to win Friends and Influence People"!)

Both of my sisters were of the same opinion as your family...."far to many kids get given labels"...."labels are an excuse used by parents who have naughty kids"..."SEN is just a label for badly behaved children"...blah blah blah.

I can report back that both of my sisters and their partners have read "Curious" and have in some small ways changed their opinions of ASD etc.

You can not FORCE people to become interested, but you can gently encourage them to become aware.

Its is so very right the saying "you cant chose your family"....and I make sure my friends are supportive and understanding before I allow them into our lives.

Thinking of you.
JMxx

(The guys say hi to your lovely bunch.....R would like to email T if possible....do you think he would be up for it?? R wants to talk computer games!!! Some new online game he is playing is keeping me off the comuter just lately....theres a nightly battle as to whos going to get there first! Sadly my bum is much bigger than his and is useful for edging him off the seat!!!! Must get the laptop up and running then it would save the battle of the bottoms!!!!)

Yes- tom would love to email...he's said the same thing since butlins

Talking of which...how is BigR's arm????

now to cap it all i've had the latest PAEDS report (after my appt with her 2 weeks ago)....and she's twisted and contridicted all i said.....saying that I said leigh had ADHD when what i actually said is he suffers from anxiety- making him very OTTP...and that he is permantly in motion- which i believe to be a 'stim' or to do with his spacial awareness.

it also includes the teachers comments.... and the only conclussion i have is either the teacher is lying....or leigh is lying (think NOT!!!) or she has been talking to the wrong teacher about the wrong child!

Bloody hell Mrs F....is your Paed. related to mine???

You dont think the Paeds. write crap about us because we expose them for knowing so little about ASD do you???

My GP has been excellent this past week and she said that she is sure our Paed. is embarressed(sp?) by his lack of understanding and that I make him realise just exactly how little he does know....so that is why he is always on the defence when we have our appointments.

Ive just posted him an invitation to attend the John Clements seminar....would be interesting to see if he attends!!!

Also had the same probs with school teacher.....she completed the Attwood questionnaire and well to be honest if i had read her answers i would have thought the child she was referring to was a complete angel and the mother must be stark raving mad!!!! When I asked her about her responses she only turned around and said "I guessed some of the answers because I didnt really understand the questions"!!!!!
Big help she was....NOT!!

BigR's arm is getting better....still swollen but he is getting the movement back now thank goodness. Thanks for asking.....I still giggle about it!!!!

Have got your email....so will sort out a time thats best with R and get him to mail T.xxxx