In a quandary...advice please!

[DrippingLizzie]

This week my DS (aged 6, with ASD/Aspergers) has been attending a 'sports week' for children with or without disabilities. It's the first time he's been and I thought I'd give it a go. Yesterday I accompanied him and today my DH did (unlike most of the parents who just seem to bugger off regardless of whether kids are in distress or obviously need one-to-one, but that's another story).

Sadly, DS has not really enjoyed it much. He has issues regarding turn-taking and goes into meltdown if he's not first in a queue or doesn't win a race. I'd say 50% of the time he's been just OK but the rest he's either been upset or ambivalent, which can be hard to deal with when the rest of the kids are having a whale of a time.

The question is: do I send him for the rest of the week? On the one hand, I want to try and help him to deal with the above issues (life skills and all that), but on the other hand I feel bad for almost forcing him into an alien environment way out of his comfort zone. My DS is not really interested in making new friends(although he's got a nice little coterie at is mainstream school) so the socialisation value of the week is limited.

I really don't know what to do for the best. Would it be better for me to sack the sports week and downscale it into a few games in the park with his friends/siblings? Or should I adopt the old "well, that's life and he's got to get used to it" attitude and continue to take him?

Apologies for the long-windedness, but any advice would be gratefully received!

downscale and go the park with friends/siblings

could you take a couple of his friends with him so he is with some people he knows?

He wouldn't be able to take friends this time(you've got to reserve places in advance and numbers are limited) but it's something that I might consider if I decide to go to the summer week.

my ds has probles mixing with new children due to him having di george and he is very shy around children. he also does not like change. he also has to go first in everything but we are slowly teaching him that he has to take turns. he thinks sharing means he has to share everyone else's things but not his own as well. i still try to get him to do new things and mix with new people but try to be around as a familiar face to reassure him

I would definitely downscale. IME it is fine to take them out of their comfort zone for one or two sessions but for the whole week is just too much. Yes he does have to learn to cope with things but not all in a big splodge at once - it's like building up gradually. First do one day for a couple of times then build upo to 2 then three. It will take a long time but it is much better to let him work towards it rather than expect him to cope with it all at once.

My AS boy would never cope with a whole week, even with me being there, at that age. Even now at nearly 10 he can only cope with a whole week of tennis camp as it is 2 hours a day and he goes to tennis lessons every week.

Have some chill out time with him instead. It is so much new for him to cope with and as the school holidays are there to help him rest from school and decrease his stress levels so he can go back to school refreshed and ready to cope with that it seems a bit counter productive to increase them.

I'ld go with your instincts and sack it if he is clearly not enjoying it.

My daughter went on the sports week you are talking about for the first time when she was 5. She was supported by our babysitter and just attended the sessions that she liked the best. Have a look at the timetable and maybe just pick one or two things from each day or just mornings etc.

I know that my daughter still doesn't participate in all the activities but is happy to watch. She has taken a more active role each time she has attended.

By the way, some of the children whose parents 'bugger off' are being supported by care workers from a local agency.