Please or to access all these features

SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

Does your SN child have completely bizzarre, possibly unique ways of showing affection?

22 replies

CaptainPlump · 06/04/2009 18:58

This morning I came across an old OT report on my son, who is autistic and was then aged nearly 5. It was only written 8 months ago but it made me laugh because THAT BOY IS SO WEIRD!! In a good way, of course. It stated that he shows affection to adults he has a close bond with by climbing all over them and squealing into their eyes, and it made me laugh because he's almost completely stopped doing that, but while it went on it was really intense. He used to stick his fingers into my eyes, and when he wasn't doing that he'd stick his face right into mine so that his chin was resting in my eye socket. He'd twist my head to one side to get good access; we must have looked very strange as we walked around Sainsburys!

He's pretty much stopped doing that now but his new way of showing affection is just as odd. He grabs my hand, twists it from side to side to look at it intensely from every angle while grinning happily and making a really high pitched squealing sound. When he wants to get closer he'll put my hand over his face and squeal into it. It's strange but I find it completely charming, except when I'm trying to do something else. He wants my hands when I'm driving, when I'm cooking, when I'm changing his nappy - he's very strong so it takes a lot of effort to disengage myself!

I suppose I should have guessed that something was up when he was a few months old and he insisted on showing affection by pressing his nose really hard against mine. For a baby he was very strong, and the pressure on my nose could be quite painful!

Anyone else experienced this kind of love?

OP posts:
lou031205 · 06/04/2009 19:02

DD isn't bizarre so much in her technique, but she is INTENSE. So every morning without fail, almost, as I come down the stairs, she runs to the bottom bouncing, and wraps her arms around my legs and says "Mummy!!! I missed you!!!" as if I have been away for a month, when in fact she may have seen me less than half an hour before. She also likes to rub things on my face and so on.

Threadworm · 06/04/2009 19:07

Hope you don't mind me chipping in, as a non-SN parent, but that description is beautiful. It makes me think of the parent of an autistic child on the radio a few months ago, who spoke eloquently about the value of autistic experience as part of a lovely diversity of human life.

vjg13 · 06/04/2009 19:43

lou, my daughter will do the whole 'I MISSED YOU!!' when I'm out of the room.

Also lots of 'I love you' throughout the day! She's 11 now.

5intheEgg · 06/04/2009 19:49

DS2 does the whole squashing-his-head-firmly-against-yours thing. I've had to "ds2 proof" ds3 as he was getting a bit too enthusiatic about it and really hurting him even though he didn't mean to.

He also likes to sniff. He isn't so bad now, but when he was about 1-2 and I came back from work, he would climb on my lap, stick his head between my cleavage and have a good sniff for about 5 mins He is still obsessed with my boobs, he seems to think he owns then but he doesn't do the sniffing thing anymore (thank god)!

coppertop · 06/04/2009 20:38

Ds2 charges at me with his head down like a little bull if I'm standing up. If I'm sitting down he cimbs on me and starts sniffing. This is followed by him putting his face right on to mine and making a mewling sound like a cat.

He's 6 and has ASD.

Widemouthfrog · 06/04/2009 20:49

DS pulls my face to his ,touches noses and looks at me all crossed eyed with a cheesy grin. He does it to the dog too.
He used to roll all over me too, but thankfully he has stopped that.

tclanger · 06/04/2009 20:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tclanger · 06/04/2009 20:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

anonandlikeit · 06/04/2009 20:56

DS2 is very cuddly, but its like he does a an extreme cuddle, he wants every part of his body to touch mine, sweet but he is heavy now so we've ben working on gentle cuddles without feeling like i'm pushing him away.
5intheegg, my ds2 has a bit of a boob obsession. he tries to shove his hand down my cleavage & then sniff his hand at my ample boosom & what must be sweaty breasts

lou031205 · 06/04/2009 21:10

What is it about boobs? DD is now 3.4 and has just started slipping her hand into my top when I am holding her. She also says "I touch boobie" if I go through to her at the night.

CaptainPlump · 06/04/2009 21:10

Thank you Threadworm! And everyone else too! Any more? It's really lovely to hear about the strange and wonderful things our kids do, and even nicer to realise that I'm not entirely alone in this! I know a lot of other children with SN but none of them are as delightfully odd as my own DS, or at least not in public!

OP posts:
daisy5678 · 06/04/2009 21:25

J puts his nose in my eye for a 'special kiss'. OK if he doesn't have a cold

sphil · 06/04/2009 22:13

DS2 says 'chin chin' and wants me to press my chin into his face. Occasionally 'nose nose' too. He often rubs his face all over mine - with the mewling noise as well .

SheWhoMustBeIgnored · 06/04/2009 22:18

dont know if it was showing affection or what but have to share it, ds was having a morning story in our bed as mummy was too lazy to get up - he didnt have his nappy on but he got up and straddled my face i thought he was wanting to play with thelight switch again but oh no he sat down dp thought that was hilarious(sp)so ds1 starts laughing and then wiggling so dp was laughing even more and wouldnt get him off- all i can say is thank god he was wiped when his nappy came off

allytjd · 07/04/2009 10:11

DS2 nuzzles my tummy and speaks in "goo-goo" baby talk to me AND also likes to feel my boobs, he is 8 now so trying to gently disuade him from that. (Although not as bad as the time DS3 got into bed with my mother in the morning, pulled her nightie up and announced "time for booby milk now Granny!").

MUM23ASD · 23/04/2009 23:38

ds2 often strokes me like a kitten and says "your a cute little chappy, aren't you'

I love it!!!!

he's 10 next month!!!!!!

on a 'bad day...he grabs both my boobs...not so keen on that!!!

MUM23ASD · 23/04/2009 23:43

oops1 meant DS3 strokes me like a kitten!!!

(ds2 shows affection by making what he calls his 'cute face'....like spongebob when he looks cute....)

ds1 shows affection by pointing out sometimes how he has just spent 5 minutes chatting to me (instead of gamiling)...and believe it or not...I love those chats...as wwe've talked many times about how it is important to try and have a conversation with someone about something other than what you are obsessed about....

MUM23ASD · 23/04/2009 23:44

double oops!!!

for gamiling...please read GAMING (as in computers etc!!!) and NOT as in DH's case GAMBLING

BradfordMum · 24/04/2009 07:14

What lovely children you all have!
X x X

troutpout · 24/04/2009 07:57

oh how lovely.
Sadly i don't think ds has ever once come forward with a spontaneous display of affection for me.It always has to be asked for...and is rather stiffly given.
However...he shows it for dd all the time...puts his arms around her...goes to her if she is crying 'what is wrong troutgirl?? what is wrong??! ' hmmm..i wonder if could something to do with the fact that you just bashed her over the head Troutboy?'
He sits next to her all the time and strokes her hair while they watch tv together (he has a thing about her hair).... and they reads books with legs over one another.
It's very sweet

123andaway · 24/04/2009 09:34

DS1 (10 AS) likes to be stroked like our cat! He comes up and puts his head on my knee and I have to scratch his nose and behind his ears. He even purrs!!!! Apart from that he HATES being touched or hugged!

MUM23ASD · 24/04/2009 14:38

my ds3 purrs too!
(up to age 7 HE was the cat- he'd crawl around my legs too!!!!..... now at almost 10 he has 'evolved' to me being the cat!)

New posts on this thread. Refresh page