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Original poster

Trying to find info focused on GIRLS with AS

29 replies

Flamesparrow · 04/04/2009 09:04

Ello

Been talking to Peachy and she was saying about AS coming out differently in girls and boys (which makes sense when I think about it logically).

I found this site which all sounds sooooooo familiar, but any others specifically talking about girls would be really helpful Welled up at the section talking about friends in elementary school - fits perfectly.

Things are very hard for DD at the moment, and it is seeming more AS related than just 5yr old related, so any help I can find would be great.

OP posts:
silverfrog · 04/04/2009 09:38

I wish i could help

My dd1 is ASD, and I sometimes have quite a problem finding info on girls.

Lots of people acknowledge that the spectrum presents quite differently in girls, but finding out the differences is trickier.

Even dd1's school (ASD specific) struggle at times (and she is 1 of 2 girls in the whole school)

Amber might have some ideas?

ProfYaffle · 04/04/2009 09:47

Will watch this with interest. Read your link and heard the feature on Womens Hour the other day, it's me and dd1 to a T. My cousin and her son have both just been diagnosed with AS. Have a bit of thinking to do .....

Blossomhill · 04/04/2009 10:22

hi flame if ever you need to talk i am always here as a mum of a dd (9 yrs) with AS. Are you on msn or facebook??? i bought a really good book from amazon called aspergers and girls.

Blossomhill · 04/04/2009 10:24

have to say looking at that link my dd is not like most girls then as she doesn't know how to mask her symptoms.

Marne · 04/04/2009 11:40

Hi, i have a dd with AS and a dd with ASD.

At the moment i am doing the early birds course and there is another family with a DS the same age as dd with AS, it has been good to compare the way they cope with the AS. Dd1 seems to have adjusted to a lot of the traits and has masked her AS where as the boy is showing more traits (including violence) which we are not seeing in dd1. They do also have a lot of similar traits.

madmouse · 04/04/2009 20:24

There was a radio four item about it today at about 4.15 this afternoon, you may be able to replay it online. It was about AS manifesting itself differently in girls than boys due to the different ways in which they learn (girls using intuition more?). It sounded interesting but as my own experience with ASD and AS is zilch that is all I can say.

Original poster
Flamesparrow · 04/04/2009 20:44

Not ignoring the replies - been ill all day, thank you I will reply properly when I am coherent

OP posts:
madmouse · 04/04/2009 21:33

it was weekend woman's hour

Original poster
Flamesparrow · 05/04/2009 10:19

I am on facebook Blossomhill. i am on a lot of MNer's friends thingies (def 2shoes and peachy if peachy) I have a coloured baby bump as my pic at the moment.

I have been sat here trying to work out if it is good or bad with girls masking it. DSis just seemed arsey to everyone, it was only when she hit late 20s that the penny dropped!

Prof - I'll post anything I manage to find.

What's the early birds course? - am intrigued. We did some confident parent/child course thing last year, but it wasn't very good. It was pretty much telling us to do more with our children, and it was all stuff we already do

Going to go and listen to the radio thingy now

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ProfYaffle · 05/04/2009 15:03

I've had a mooch on Amazon, there are a handful of books on there. I'm going to buy one or two.

My Aunt's on a bit of a crusade since cousin got diagnosed and thinks half the family's got it! I thought she was wrong til I heard Womens Hour.

lol @ your sis Flame, that's me that is, I unintentionally piss people off left and right, always have done, probably always will do!

bullet123 · 05/04/2009 16:30

I can tell you my own experiences later on if that helps (difficult to concentrate to wrtite much at minute as lads are with me)

HelensMelons · 05/04/2009 18:16

Yes Bullet, please!

DS2 dx of asd in Feb 07 - however, often wondered about female members of both dp and our family.

Tbh didn't realise that the spectrum could and does present differently in girls, hadn't really thought about it but am very interested. Of course it makes sense.

mumslife · 05/04/2009 19:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bullet123 · 05/04/2009 20:09

Ok, this is in no way fully descriptive but this is a quick synopsis:

Ages 0 - 6:

Slightly late at talking (about 2.5). Very very quiet, rarely initialised talking or interaction. Very clingy with mum, would have nowt to do with most people. Refused anything with a teat, eg dummy or bottles. Very very active. If mum took me to toddler group I wouldn't play, I'd run round and round and try and escape out of the nearest exit. I was a runner. Very big tantrums. Understanding fine. Spoke so fast almost nobody but my mum could understand me. Didn't go in for imaginative play really, loved lego and cars and blocks though.

Ages 6 - 10:

Better at talking with other people but still rarely initiated talking. Found expressing my wants and needs very very difficult and expressing my emotions nigh on impossible. Spoke to adults often via my mum. Obsessions that I still have today started to establish themselves strongly. Still spoke extremely fast. Found certain materials and textures, sights, sounds etc quiete overwhelming. Nb I probably had the hypersensitivies as a toddler but can't remember. Very immature and naive. Handflapped and did other stims.

Ages 10 - 18:

Personally most difficult time. Still the same as I was at ages 6 - 10 but expected to be more like "typical" adolescent girls. Was not aware of how other people might react to what I did or even that they would react. No concept of wanting to fit in, to pretend to be normal. Very socially isolated. Very placid and academically ok (though needed prompting with organisation etc) so seen as being ok and therefore got no help. Still very young for my age. Still had obsessions and hypersensitivies. Speaking slowed down due to help from my mum. Stimming continued but mostly stopped in public.

Ages 18 to 33 (my current age):

Helped socially first by some students a year above me at Vi form who took time to speak to me and not put me down and then with my now husband who liked my quirks. Still fairly socially isolated but am happy with that. I don't phone people up for a chat for example. I go to a book group once a month and very occasionally on an internet meet and that is about the sum of my real life social life. Before the internet My social life consisted of once a week drinks with DH's mate and his gf (now wife) and the rare leaving do/Christmas event at workplaces. Still stim and am secure in myself now to do it in public. Still have obsessions. Can now make the choice to avoid a lot of things that cause me to feel apprehensive/anxious or to look for ways of minimising them. Still do not realise most of the time that other people might or will react to what I do until I make a conscious effort to think about it. Still have difficulties being able to initiate things including talking.

Blossomhill · 05/04/2009 21:08

Bullet have to say the description of yourself up to aged 10 is my dd to a tee especially the obsessions. Dd didn't really have to have routines up until about 6 and same with the obsessions and over the past few years they really have scarily taken over!

Original poster
Flamesparrow · 06/04/2009 08:43

Ooh lots of that fits so far Bullet - thank you. The talking especially (were referred for SALT who just said that she speaks too quickly). DD was the opposite with teats - wanted to have a dummy or bottle at all times, and playgroups just clung to my leg every single session.

We are getting more imaginative play this last 12 months, but it is all based on tv/film/book - a storyline already created iyswim.

My biggest issue that I have with her (completely unreasonably) is that when we go to places she will stand very close to me and stroke me saying "I want you" over and over. If she were holding my hand, or giving me room to move then I would be able to handle it, but that being glued to my leg and the stroking drives me insane and I get cross I get angry with myself for not handling it right when I know she isn't doing it to annoy me, and angry with her because it is like nails down a blackboard for me.

OP posts:
bullet123 · 06/04/2009 11:31

I never used to do the stroking. Just would stand by my mum and keep quiet. She always used to let me watch her bake because I wouldn't interrupt her.
I forgot to add that I had (and still have) a lot of difficulty in showing I'm upset with something especially when you'd expect me to show being upset. Eg when I was 8 my dad told me two hours before the coach was due to arrive that I wasn't going on a brownie camping trip and I showed absolutely no emotion even though I was devastated. Also there are times when I probably should have felt emotional about something and have felt nothing. Eg at the age of 10 my dad was in a car accident and had to be hospitalised and I felt nothing until I saw his facial bruises and then just felt revlusion at the sight of them. And I loved my dad, so it wasn't that I didn't care.

Blossomhill · 06/04/2009 14:49

See my dd completely over reacts so is hysterical if things are cancelled and will cry/scream for hours.

mumslife · 06/04/2009 19:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Flamesparrow · 06/04/2009 19:51

We are about 50/50 with reactions. Sometimes I expect it to go horribly and she is fine, and other times I think it'll be fine and it all goes horribly wrong.

I was very good today - went somewhere I was expected the clinging and stayed calm, then bribed her.

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Sazisi · 06/04/2009 23:36

Hiya Flame, I met you at the Christmas party

My beautiful DD2 was just diagnosed with AS in February. My nephew, aged 11, also has AS. Her 'differentness' is way subtler than his. Her eye-contact is excellent -unless she's telling fibs . She has a great imagination, not as preoccupied with facts and figures as my DN, although she can be very intense on subjects which interest her. Also, she is a good conversationist, ie able to listen with interest and then say her piece, whereas DN very much likes to dictate the pace of and dominate conversations.

I found a paper on a website somewhere which was specifically about AS and girls, written by Tony Attwood. I will post a link once I find it again..
Some of it was quite reassuring, eg the prognosis is usually better for girls, and girls tend to fare far better socially. Apparently, girls (with AS) will usually inspire maternal and protective feelings in their peer group, whereas boys with AS will usually find their peer group being predatory toward them (this has been the case for DN, although fortunately he knows some nice girls )

Sazisi · 07/04/2009 00:15

Here it is

bullet123 · 07/04/2009 00:29

"Apparently, girls (with AS) will usually inspire maternal and protective feelings in their peer group"
Erm, not in teenage girls they don't.

Sazisi · 07/04/2009 00:36

I was paraphrasing (and probably badly) something I'd read

Original poster
Flamesparrow · 07/04/2009 08:14

Thank you - will read that later with a cuppa and no kids

Did Psycho ever return your cardigan? If not I will grab it this week and send it myself!

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