Is this how its going to be from now on or will it get better?

[Marne]

Dd2 is starting to notice more things that are going on around her, which is great and shows she is progressing but she is also having a lot more melt downs/tantrums mainly because things have changed (routine, places etc..).

Today i went to pick her up from nursery, i could here her crying from outside, a member of staff came out with another child and i asked 'whats wrong with dd2' she went to find out and came back to tell us that they rang the bell to come in from outside, dd2 came in and the staff had forgot to get the chairs out for song time. Now this may not seem like a big deal but to an autistic child its the end of the world . I can't expect people to tip toe around her making sure things are just rite so is this just how its going to be? (dd2 getting upset by tiny things) or will she adapt to it?

DS2 has his good days and bad days. Some days he has a meltdown over the slightest thing, and other days he is pretty much ok.

He has adapted to a few things, especially at school as they often throw a question mark into his visual timetable, so doesn't know what to expect.

Would a visual timetable, or picture cards perhaps help her at nursery?

This is a double edged sword in my experience. Having a child who notices things and reacts and communicates is great when they are happy abou things, better than a child who is completely passive, at least they are aware of their surroundings and they are communicating. However, as you have found, when they are not happy, boy do they let you know! My DS, who is severely autistic, is very communicative, affectionate and interactive BUT he has Challenging Behaviour (capital C & B note) because he reacts a LOT. Mind you, he has never been so sensitive to the sort of changes or things not being as he expects as you describe. But I can say that most severe behavious do seem to settle down and they move on to something else!

The advice we get at the hospital therapy program is to (as far as you can) try not to give in to the demands for rigidity in all circumstances - so that the child learns that having a meltdown will not get them what they want - but I think this must depend on the child's level of understanding ( which is difficult to gauge). If the child is just stressed or overloaded, this will not work.

5intheEgg, they are using visual timetables at nursery and picture cards its just sometimes they forget how much she notices little things (like the chairs not being out), we are using the timetables more at home which sometimes helps.