bedtime

[knat]

my dd (5) has aspergers and we are having considerable difficulties with bedtime - she is increasingly defiant and can get quite angry and tantrummy - tonight was awful and she got quite distressed. i dont know how to deal with this anymore and i just wondered if anyone else had this problem. There's nothing in the bedroom thats a problem = she has to have the light on and likes abook at bed althought his in itself can cause a problem = she is very oppositional. Please help!!! This should be a quiet, calm time and its anything but.

how about a picture(fun one, like a fairy/animal etc) divide into sections(7, for days of the week) then when she goes to bed without too much fuss, she gets to colour in a section each night. at the end of the week(or could do in 3 day chunks, whichever more acheivable) she gets something she really likes.priase highly when each chunk is coloured(as eventually you would want her to do it for praise rather than just for the reward) my ds is getting a ben 10 magasine if he gets the whole picture coloured.
just a thought?

thanks we're doing a reward chart at the minute which shes liking of which going to bed is one of the tasks -but it goes out of the window at bedtime

I presume it is not the change of the clocks that has thrown her equalibrium? Ds always has a difficult few days/weeks to adapt - I suppose it feels wrong.
We went through a difficult phase with ds (a year or 2 back) refusing to go to bed until we realised he thought he was being excluded from something exciting. Once he knew our exact timetable (washup, load washing machine, dry up, ironing - you know the boring essentials and that any laughing was daddy watching tv he would not find interesting - he was more settled! He still tries to spin out bedtime though.
Would a going to bed chart help? with a tick chart to go through the routine wind down? ( was teeth, loo, pjs, into bed, story?. I used to reward ds with an extra page of story for acheiving it all without fuss ( one warning for each session allowed of course)

thanks magso - its not the change in clocks shes been like it to varying degrees for a long time. unfortunately because of her oppositional behaviour the tick chart wouldnt work = she would object to all of it!!!!

Ds is oppositional too - but for him it is a control thing I think ( although Idid not know that till recently). I despaired of bedtime too - he is 9 now and able to cope with simple incentments and choices (pjs/books) but could not at 5!! I remember watching in astonishment as one mum on a w/e break (not done it since) chearfully and very sucsessfully played boisterous action songs and chasing games to wear her dcs out for bed! Ds joined in and it worked for him too- ( 3 worn out kids)I had always aimed for a calm wind down! Just thought I would mention it in case it works for your dd.
Hope this bumps the thread for you!

Could you use a schedule/chart to show her in what order you/she does things in before going to bed, this will help both of you so each night will be the same (bath, pjs, bed, story), we have done this for dd1(AS) for getting ready in the morning. Get her to help you make it (she can draw the pictures of bed etc and chose which order things go in) which means she has some control over it.

thanks everyone. the chart idea just makes her argumentative/oppositional because its all things she doesnt like! We do do a now and next thing and keep to this whatever.
We are trying music in her room to help her and so far this has made things better although it is still sometimes hard to get her up the stairs