can anyone help with some advice for a friend.

[ByThePowerOfGreyskull]

Her son has no diagnosis (yet)
he is 3.5 and in preschool, but has always had issues that could look like a) a naughty willfull child b)a child who has some special needs.
His preschool has just admitted that they can't cope with him for more than 2 sessions a week. (reducing from 5)
The teacher has been happy to discuss this with the mother but in public
can anyone help find out what help - route to help my friend should take.
Also she feels that she has been treated very poorly by the teacher and would like to complain about her, but she is not sure if what the teacher saying is perfectly reasonable.

sorry a ramble - friend of mine - if you are reading this I hope there are some answers that will be helpfull to you.

You say he does not yet have a dx ... is he waiting for an assessment ? What has the teacher said about his behaviour that they are unable to cope with ? Also, how does your friend feel - does she feel he warrants help in pre-school ? This is very tricky, because sometimes the 'bearer' of bad news is automatically thought of in this way.

im not sure what do you mean in public in front of other parents, out side pre school?

ive never had private chats about my ds its always been with others around but maybe in these circumstances it should have been dealt with more privately as such a sensitive matter

have they explained what they feel the childs needs are and what other help she can ask for as they can be funded for extra staff to come and help with child

has mum got her own concerns if so she would need to contact her gp with list of worries and ask to be referred my gp was great and set the ball rolling for us

sorry dont know what else to say not sure what some special needs would indicate vif mum has own worries and there not being followed up as yet than gp would be good start my hv wasnt very good but if hers is maybe hv too

not sure what is best route to find help.

dont know what teacher said to friend so hard to say if what teacher said was reasonable...
but before complaining, maybe helpful to send in note asking to make appointment to see teacher individually. then can talk in private can see if they can suggest where best to get support, and friend can also note that she was upset by matters being discused in public, etc

Is the preschool part of a school, or a small individual one in village hall etc ?

if the school has senco techer than they should be helping with what routes can be taken etc our pre school is run in a church has a senco teacher who helped me in getting more help within the pre school and what best route to take via dx

is her son being assessed already? if so then the pre school would be aware of this and would be able to ask for more funding etc

I'ld be pretty unimpressed if pre-school have come to this decision (that he should only go 2 days out of five) if they have not had area senco come and observe and advise them (leas have senco teachers to come into to private nurseries etc to advise if pre-schoolers may have special needs). Councils all seem to have some sort of inclusion/early years service for kids with SN/SEN, so she may find it useful to talk to them, or to Parent Partnership (again employed by council, to outline to parents rights etc with regard to education of kids with SN/SEN)

what else your friend might do really depends on whether she thinks the pre-school has a point and whether there are behaviour/development issues that warrant further investigation (in which case she should speak to GP or HV) or whether she thinks the pre-school has unreasonable expectations for his behaviour (in which case she may want to look for another nursery/pre-school setting for him!)

I think your friend definitely needs to get in touch with the Early Years inclusion team (the name seems to vary depending on where you live). The pre-school are effectively excluding him for what might be SN reasons.

If they can't cope then they should be looking for outside help in the form of advice and strategies or even extra funding. At the very least they should be talking to the Area SENCO and setting up an IEP.