I know its Mothers Day but I'm feeling sad :(

[meggymoosmum]

Its Mothers Day and i'm at the end of my tether.

I've found today so hard. DD was OK this morning but since lunch time she's just been a nightmare. She had an absolutely filthy nappy earlier which she wouldn't let me change, after half an hour of failing to coax her to lay down we had to pin her down and change it while she went wappy. She wouldn't eat her lunch. She wouldn't put her shoes on to come home from nannys house. She's now in the bath (i walked out and left her with daddy lol), she wouldn't sit down or let me wash her hair. Today was suppose to be lovely and i've spent the last hour crying and wanting to walk out the door.

DD is almost 3, and we only recently got an autism dx. I think today it's affecting me more as i can't help but think of all my friends and their dc's having a nice day, able to go for a walk in the sunshine, being able to communicate easily, etc. It feels so unfair and i'm tired of battling

Is anyone else having a bad day or is it just me?!

Sorry you've had a bit of a crappy day, hope tomorrow is better

I got stuck in a full hours queue to get OUT of the carboot this morning after they whinged for the half hour i was there. Which also meant i was trapped in a car for an hour with them, whilst the car didnt even have the engine on because it was gridlock and no-one was moving

Then for tea, ive had to make 4 different meals for 7people, because of the the varying intolerances and likes/dislikes everyone has

Looking forward to that bar of choc i have hidden in the back of the fridge and a snuggle up and 'Lost' on TV.

Have you got anything to look forward to tonight or tomorrow? I always find it helps. XXX

hiya, I have had a terrible day with my son so youre not alone, he is 3yrs 4 months and autistic hope tomorrow is better for us xx

Just ate a whole box of chocolates! DD been ill today so spent the morning in a and e just to check her over as I'd given her injection (she was ok but goodness knows what she could have picked up there) then she was miserable all afternoon. So different reasos but am with you in feeling a bit rubbish about mothers day today. Hope all of us have a better one tomorrow.

Thanks everyone. Still feel low but I have a couple of hours to myself today so hopefully will get a chance to recoup a bit. Hope everyone is having a better day, hugs to all

meggymoo

What support are you currently receiving or have received since your DD's autism diagnosis?. MN is great and this board is particularly good but it is also important that you do not become socially isolated or end up with a lack of overall support.

Have you talked with the National Autistic Society?. Is there SNAP in your area?.

Hope you have a better day today with your DD.

we have to remember im afarid that no matter what the day is there needs ARE ALWAYS GOING TO BE THE SAME IM SORRY YOU DIDNT GET THE DAY YOU HOPED FOR BUT SHE STILL LOVES YOU SHE ISNT UNFDERSTANDING THE WORLD THE WAY WE DO YET sorry not shouting

ds has ASD it was my birthday also on mothers day he was on a sensory issue day so wasnt as tolerant as i would have liked him to have been but didnt expect too much from him learn when to pick your battles also i found choices with my ds at that age worked wonders still does he'll be 4 in april and i give choices bath or shower if he doesn't want hair washed i dont wash it

every day i give choices and never ask him if he wants to do something always tell him to do something

sorry again you didnt have a great time but just remember regardless of how there acting we are the most important and loved people in there lives they just cant always show it your doing great and she is still so young ntr children can act just the same if not worse

if you can relax today then try

again do you have support on the outside i go to SNAP group but must admit all my greatest support has been on here xx

Good words, bubblagirl, they did me good too - I had a rather crap Sunday, DS being more 'spectrummy' than ever (if that's a good word). I ended up hiding all his number books and his number jigsaw this morning. Maybe I'm being cruel, but the obsessive counting is driving me mad. The nursery made him do a card for Mother's Day, but he has no idea what it means

Its good you have a chance to recoup! I hope you can wind down and just chill.
Getting a Dx takes some adapting to - even if you espect it. I got quite down for a while (after ds autism Dx) and felt quite overwhelmed - but in the longer term it has helped me (and others) understand my ds. Just to give you hope - it has got easier through the years!

I'm not really getting any support. I thought i had come to terms with it in the last few weeks and was looking to the future but am really struggling at the minute. I know she does love me, but these last few days it feels like she genuinelly hates me.

DD hasn't got the understanding to make decisions yet We're currently introducing symbols so i'm hoping this will help.

I suffer from depression too which is probably half of my trouble at the minute. Just wish i could stop crying. I hate feeling 'poor me' and wish i could feel strong and just get on with it

sc13 i have another obsessive counter here he makes anything a number i want scooby doo 9 no such thing makes me panic lol i put any scooby doo in no that's only scooby doo 7 lol

but he'll draw shapes in the air what shape is that sometimes they need to do things like that to help them as they relax by concentrating and can shut all the other stuff out thats bothering them

i just leave ds in his room on them days as he needs to be alone doing what he needs to do to help him get through the day

meggy its taken me nearly a yr to get round how to deal with ds best thing i was told was to not treat him or expect him to behave like another child but learn how he behaves for him

it took me a while but found my tone of voice made a difference calm upbeat kept him calm no matter what situation we were in

choices ok we can change your nappy or we can get in the bath he would just lay down i found the choices were the best as not sure about your dd but as long as my ds feels he has his own way all is ok so with a choice he feels as though his in control and i get the result im after either way

i still have down days but if ds needs to be alone ive learnt its best to let him and things are much easier now ive learnt what his needs are and how to deal with them main thing is my expectations have dropped and i stop comparing as i know more nt children who behave worse than ds anyway

just remember your doing great and its normal to have bad days nt or sn children big hugs to you xxxxxxx

i will also admit at the age of 3 was my worst time with d she was just dx i didnt understand or know his needs fully but it took few weeks for me to get round how he acts and what i did i still have wobbles now on the really abd days but the support i receive on her makes me feel less alone its just the feeling in rl im alone and have no one but really i do but on here and the support has been faultless so never be afraid to post on a bad day

my ds also at that age had limited speech that didnt come on until he was 3.6 and then i found he was much easier as his frustrations were to do with not being able to communicate fully we used pec cards the here and now so we had pictures of the day what we were doing and he loved that he'd check it every morning

sorry your struggling and suffering with depression it would be great for you to check out any sn groups the support of being with other families who understand you helps and they set me up on makaton course and help me with any other issues i may be having

xx

also great for ds to play with no judging looks if he wants to go into melt down or not interact with others sorry for all my typos im getting worse must be that extra yr i gained yesterday lol

Meggymoosmum
Its very normal not to feel "strong" when looking after a very challenging child - I get the feeling that SN mothers are supposed to be some kind of saint, when most of the time I an CERTAINLY NOT COPING OR ENJOYING IT MUCH looking after my sn dd.
Have you got a good friend you can go and have a coffee and a good old moan with?

and with support - have you tried getting on to social services and telling them how crap your days can be and that you NEED THEIR HELP - I've had to threaten leaving my dd with them before getting help. Brutal (and I wouldn't actually do it - or would I?) but effective