ignorant bitch in tesco today

[hunnybun1981]

my mum had my children out today and my eldest who has autism (who is a wee gem) ran up to an older lady and touched her leg, the lady looked down at her and lifted her leg and shrugged her off

then my mum said that she turned and looked at my dayghter who is 5 and looked at her like she was a peace of shit

well my mum, slammed her shopping down and went to town on her and said excuse me!!! my grandchild is autistic and she doesnt know that it is not ok to touch people, and if she did not know she would not want to touch the like of you!

my mum could not believe the way this woman looked at my child, i am hurt that people have such attitudes because the disabilty is not physical ,

oh i am mad sorry for venting

sorry but the old lady would not have known your dd had sn. maybe she was just an old bag

I too hate it when J is on the receiving end of comments and stares, but I only get really really cross about the people who know he's autistic and still treat him like crap.

The others are ignorant in that they genuinely don't know that J is autistic - they're not being ignorant nasty - they're just not psychic!

If a random kid came up to me and touched me, I'd probably react a bit oddly.

Sorry you were upset though. Know how hard it is.

I guess that most older people have very little understanding of 'modern' day SN such as ASDs but even so, it's still hurtful when you get a response like that - how did she react to your mum's rant?!

i don't see how your mum can be so sure it was a bad look~thats just her interpretation of it which is completely subjective, and it sounds like your mum was a bit rude to her.

she kicked my daughter away so yes she would be rude to her, and when i say older i dont mean ancient maybe 50 s , she apologised for her behaviour so yes i guess she realised she was being rude.

she actually lifted her leg as if to shoo my daughter away so her i am sure she wasnt in too much pain, my daughter is very affectionate with strangers and would run to people, most normal people would say hello.

if a child came up to me i would just say awk hello how r u ? no maybe not then.

clearly imo down right rude.

and i think it is easy to see a dirty look , and trust me my mum is a manager in health and social services she isnt rude to an older person but if you hurt one of hers she will be

I'd imagine she apologised because she felt intimidated.

Did she shrug her off or kick her away? You've said both.

She wouldn't know that your dd was an autistic child.

I'd probably have a rather odd look on my face if that happened too, I'm dyspraxic, have sensory issues and detest being touched by strangers, actually being touched in general.

People who don't know what autism is will not understand. I totally know what autism is and yet when I meet autistic children who grab at me I don't like it. I don't really like being pawed at by any stranger!

Yeah, I'd probably say hello, but if it happened in a supermarket when I wasn't expected it, I'd probably be irritated, especially a 5 year old, and just think 'child messing around'.

Usually, when I meet autistic children, I'm prepared for it because it's at one of J's things, but even then I'm still taken aback if they randomly touch me.

I do completely get why you're upset, and I would be too, but you're expecting too much of people - they can't not only guess that your child is autistic but then also prepare themselves to look happy when your child does something unexpected to them.

If she did kick her, clearly that's different, but you didn't say that at the start.

well i spoke to my mum bcus it has annoyed me so much so, she said she lifted her leg at her and like moved her off i dont think she booted her or anything!

its done now so no point getting stressed out at least maybe now she will be more tolerant.

no i guess she apologised because she knew she was wrong and even the checkout girl seen it and said how rude she was.

yes i guess i am expecting to much of people this is maybe why you can buy the badges that say i have autism whats your excuse or i have autism please be patient, maybe if my daugter had of been in a wheelchair and lightly tugged at her trousers she would have shown more empathy.

Yeah, she probably would have. Invisible disabilities are shite in that way, I really do know where you're coming from!

I got cross at a guy last week for shouting at J and making him upset - J had been doing this shouty singing in this guy's face near the slide in the park (not noticing) and the guy asked him to stop but J was oblivious. The guy thought he was deliberately doing it.But I can see now, without the emotional reaction, why he would be frustrated.

It's hard.

Yep. It's hard. And it's hard as well to convey to others - as the tone of voice/facial expression can turn something from innocent to not so innocent. E.g. nastiest woman I have encountered in public re:DS "does this child not speak english" - nice woman in shop about the same time "surely he knows his name now", said in a perfectly friendly way, so although I remember it, I don't feel any resentment. I think though for the sake of sanity/mental energy it's best not to engage with the nasty ones, just try and avoid them as far as possible. as just because you explain something about SN doesn't mean they will understand or will cut your child some slack.

We were at a children's service (Purim) a few weeks ago and an older lady started shusing my 10 year old daughter. She must have thought too old to be making that noise etc BUT it was a special kids thing and loads of kids not sitting in silence.

I felt like punching her a little bit angry! but think she was just a bit of an old cow in general!

oh if she made an action as if to kick her thats terrible i didn't pick that up from your first post.

thanks for support , it is awful but i suppose thats the way a lot of people are just hope maybe next time she will think twice.