Dd2 had a huge meltdown today, first time ever and i didn't have a clue what to do.

[Marne]

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I started getting both dd's ready to go and play on the green up the road, I was putting on dd2's shoes and she started crying almost as if i hurt her, i took her shoe off to check her toe's (all were fine) and then she wen't mad, screaming, crying and flapping her arms. I thought maybe she thought i was taking too long to get her outside so i thought 'lets go anyway', got outside (still crying), she stopped outside by the car and pointed at the buggy so i took it out of the car and put her in, by now she was struggling to breathe and was almost being sick, once we started walking she shut up but soon as we got to the green she stared again (screaming, stomping her feet), in the end i rounded up poor dd1 (who was being so good about it all), bundled dd2 back in the buggy and went home.

She continued to cry for 20 minutes, i gave her the PECS book to see if she would show me what she wanted. I ended up crying and leaving her to calm down on her own (well with dd1).

When i came back she handed me her 'apple' PECS card, signed please and under her breathe said 'please'

I have never seen dd2 like this so it was really upsetting, is this something i will have to get used to having ASD children?

I am thinking maybe i didn't get through to her (she didn't understand) where we were going and she started to panic. I felt so useless .

You managed to get out for a short while... and got home again in one piece - so congratulate yourself (and DD1) for coping so well with the situation. Plus your DD2 didn't strip naked and throw her clothes and shoes in a pond/lake/river When these things happen... always think how bad it could have been!

If you want to analyse what may have gone wrong, I feel you need to look at the hour prior to going out. What was DD2 doing? What was she wearing (you said you put shoes on, what about socks)? Did DD2 know where you were going, how you were getting there, how long you would be? Some of that could be told to her using PECS - picture of buggy, picture of park, picture of buggy, picture of home. Some can be told verbally... you may get no feedback, but at least you have told her.

pecs is a fanatastic way for them to communicate, maybe she ws hungry and wanted the apple before going out!!
also when i go out i show the sigh for bus car train swing or whichever is appropriate
a small timetable of the journey to where we are going and what happens next is highly beneficial
but i think she wanted the apple.....
there are some pecs pictures from communicating in print
and sparkle.com
also as a by the way have you ever looked up www.treatingautism.co,uk
a charity who help make awareness on treating and healing autistic individuals through bio medical treatment/intervention...
hope it pans out for you ok

I think it was my fault because it was a last minute thing (deciding to go out) so dd2 didn't really have enough time to take in what was happening. We planned on walking (not using the buggy) but because she pointed at the buggy i let her go in it, we only use the buggy if picking dd1 up from school so she may have thought we were going up to the school . Its so hard when something so little can upset them .

PECS is helping a lot but sometimes when her mind is set on something else she wont even look at PECS.

I think you did very well Marne - please don't say it was your fault. It's not easy divining what a child wants/needs/feels when there are so many factors involved. I think it's so sweet that she said 'please'

marne-im another who thinks you've pulled it off! ,your dd is using pecs,signing and she said please!thats fantastic ,whatever else happened , focus on that! .

Dd2 had another meltdown today going into nursery , it started as we arrived in the car, we were early so sat in the car for a while, dd2 didn't want to wait so i got her out but because nursery were not open yet we had to wait outside, dd2 went mad (screaming, crying and flapping), i tried to keep calm, eventually the nursery group leader heard her crying and let her in. She carried on crying, i ended up crying, they handed her a picture symbol scedual to tell her what they were going to do, they took her off me and i was sent home. . They managed to calm her down using the pictures and she was fine for the rest of the morning.

When i returned i spoke to her SALT and her nursery group leaded, they think because she has taken so well to using picture symbols and PECS we need to be using them more to help her handle transition (which at the moment is stressing her out). I have spent the afternoon using symbols and sceduals and she is happy watching ITNG on tv and taking her clothes of .

She has a hospital visit on Thursday which i am dreading as i know she will have a meltdown, i can't really explain hospital with pictures as its not somewhere she goes often.

How do you all find time (if you do) to use Picture symbols all day to let your child know whats happening?

I hate meltdowns. You sound like you handled it really well though Marne for a "first timer"

When ds2 has a meltdown I find that no matter what I say I can never get through to him. Visual symbols are far more effective and make him stop for the briefest of moments so I can speak to him. I might not always be able to get to the bottom of the meltdown, but it does calm him down 3/4 of the time.

hiya Marne! hows things going today? and having a good day as far as the meldowns go- dd4 has only had two today! and they didnt last long as her wieghted blanket calms her right down very very fast!--- have you got one for your dd? they are fab!

Still having a bad time with dd2 ,she seems to get upset whenever we go anywhere or do anything she doesn't want to do. We managed to go to the beach yesterday, she had a strop because she wanted to go in the sea (the sea was freezing),in the end i let her have a paddle even though she has a cold.

She seems to not want me to talk to anyone when we are out, as soon as i stop to talk she goes off on one. She doesn't seem to understand wait when she's with me but manages it at nursery .

This morning she woke up at 3am and refused to go back to bed (screamed when i put her back in).

drlove- we havn't got a weighted blanket, i'm not sure if she would like one as she hates having covers over her at night, they cost a lot of money so i don't wan't to buy one and then she doesn't like it. Is there anywhere i can get hold of one to try?

I seem to be really struggling with her at the moment, she has always been so easy going so it has come as a bit of a shock. She has a hospital appointment tomorrow which is going to be a night-mare, i want the assesment team to see the real dd2 not the grumpy monster she has turned into the last few days .

Good luck with the app tomorrow Marne! It could be just a phase - hope they tell you something useful!!

my ds went through stages of this i refused to leave the house as i had no idea what to do

once his speech came along i found he was calmer but it was the not knowing i had to talk through everything were going here then here

could you draw like a map with each step were going here when done that place sticker on it right follow arrows to next step now here place sticker on it

i found my ds works well with this even to this day ive had to introduce this at pre school now as he wants his own way all the time but loves his little map and happily traces the line to the next step even though his speech has come along he doesn't use it alot outside of the house

talking to people was a problem for me too always wanted to keep going so i found giving something for distraction was good at that point his etch a sketch and id ask him to draw me something he does still do this at times but has learnt to become more tolerant

i will say i panicked that ds was never going to get out of this phase but he did i find when we go through really bad times when we come out of it he has taken small step forward its as though he cant cope when too much information going in he want to take control and its hard work but he is great now with his listening and he did come out the other side good luck

oh and also your doing great job and remember nt children can also throw the best wobblies i found dont try to explain too much such as were only stopping for a little while etc i had to ignore my ds the more i spoke the more he got upset too many words just lots of praise and distraction

i always take something i can get him to do his little map , little drawing pad or his etch a sketch

thanks bubblagirl- we use an etch a sketch when in the car (it works a treat), i might try and get a smaller one for in the buggy. I have started using pictures showing her where we are going which did help until i had to go back to the car to get my purse which wasn't what was next on her pictures .

yes i know that one lol no no this one now not that lol

well i will vouch it was just a phase ds went through and is now happily out of it with only the bad days some hints of it come back

my niece is nt and she is just the same if that helps id say more an age thing maybe not just an ASD thing

marne have you tried pecs to show her whats happening next?...my dd4 is a bit easier when she's been shown a picture first.