...and some people 'just have' children.

[misscutandstick]

Some people just have children, they get pregnant, have the baby, change a few nappies, teach them to walk, say a few words, send them off to school...

we get pregnant, have the baby, arrange and attend endless appts, fight for assessments, cope with the reports, fight for further appts, have meetings, many of us cope with medical intervention, sleepless nights way past that of being even halfway reasonable. Try this, try that, special diets, special clothing, special equipment, specialist people. Fight for help, fight for help in school, fight for the right school...

and some people just have children...

I don't think it's that easy!

I know what you mean. I often feel the same.

But then I remind myself that X's parents "just had a child"- and they don't any more because he got run over. Y's mum "just had children", 3 of them, and she is dying and leaving them motherless. My friend Z's mum "just had a child" and he killed himself.

You never know what life has in store for anyone. I think some of my friends with NT children struggle more than I do, for one reason or another.

Sorry to moan; I have felt so down and isolated this week, as every day has consisted of an appt for dd1. It is not easy.

Sorry to hear that PP. hope mumsnet brings a little support.

sending virtual glass of wine

it's so hard, isn't it?

hope next week is better for you

It is crap when appointments cluster, so exhausting. PP hope you have a few clearer weeks ahead.

My daughter has a (minor) operation in April and it's all I think about at the moment. Well that and will the LEA give us the school we want, is this puberty or behavioural problems, will she wear her hearing aids when she gets them etc etc.....

I'm having a bad day too- ds had difficulties walking to school this morning and I know this means the start of disability for him too. I don't know how I will handle two wheelchairs. Also, when dd's situation started, we were suspected of sexual abuse, so this is raising a lot of ghosts for me.

Having said that, dd's best friend's mum is being moved to the hospice to die this week and I know her children are traumatised in a way that disability and suspicion can never do to mine. I have no desire to walk in that family's shoes.

One thing that would make a difference and is feasible is the government putting more money into support for children with SN and their families, and the so-called general public becoming more aware and better educated about them.

It is bloody hard sometimes, isn't it? And relentless.

I had a right old rant on an unrelated thread the other day (Katie Price one) killed it dead!

I don't want a medal for caring for/loving my own child BUT it is farking difficult, and sometimes I just wish life was a bit easier.

Im interested to see if this 'Aiming Higher' will actually make any difference to families and thier children with special needs

Thanks for the comments above from lingle, cory and vjg13.

Had a piece of good news today; dd2 (NT) has got into the local Reception class, so this has cheered me up no end! Just got to get dd1's school sorted from September now.....

It is all a struggle sometimes, isn't it? x

oh I'm glad you had some good news! We do all need them from time to time.

I actually am finding the lonliness most difficult to deal with at the moment. I don't why, I guess as DS2 is now at full time school I have too much spare time on my hands.

Would love to get a job but we are currently in hospital appointment hell and its showing no signs of getting any better. I would make a terrible employee. I have been a bit proactive today and made some enquiries about volunteering for our local surestart centre for a few hours a week.

what a super idea slightly.

Well thought I'd give it a go, and you only need to commit to a few hours a week. I just phoned up the local centre and they were really helpful.

I sometimes look at other parents and think how easy they have it. In the past two weeks two people have said to me 'i don't know how you cope with 2 autistic children' but yes its hard work but this is how it has always been (i don't know any different), i get fed up of my days being filled with taking the dd's to schools, groups, appointments, nurserys and speech therapy. I find it hard to find time for me and i find it hard to spend time with each dd on they're own (1:1) but i wouldn't swap it for the world.

Last week i looked after dd1's friend (NT) and i found her harder work than both my ASD children put together, it made me realise how lucky i am to have 2 lovely girls.

i get the point everyone is making - having children and raising them isnt easy for anyone, NT or not, single or not.

It was more the constant battle and fighting for basic things, like schooling and help from professionals that i was having a bit of a moan at. which we shouldnt have to battle for at all, as life is hard enough without adding to its pressures.

Sorry if ive ruffled feathers (again ) its the 'system' that annoys me, rather than a 'poor me' problem.

that is why we are amasing muns have you heard of adrenal gland cortex from mandimart.com

increases energy fatigue sleepless ness anxiety acching joints weight gain tearfulness to name a few
we all try to mend our children but sometimes we need to mend our selves

misscutandstick - no worries, think we nearly all have (or have had) moments of banging heads against brick walls with the system.

I've got a job interview on Monday at 8 a.m. - 8.5 hours a week over 2 days - a basic hospital admin job that hopefully should it OK round school terms and in hols DH or my mum or my annual leave can take up the slack. If that doesn't come through then I'll need to go down the voluntary work route too.