What happens at the back to school meeting after exclusion

[mummy2aaron]

we have it on Monday - yesterday the senco rang and asked some questions about the statemtn application and asked if he knew what he had done wrong, i said no he can;t retain that information for long and she said 'oh dear'. Can they not accept him back? he is autistic.

I don't have any experience or advice but can offer you a thread bump.

Bump!

Couldn't let this go unanswered.

Depends on the school but I expect they will want to talk to you and your DS about the incident and explain the standard of behaviour expected from him. I know this will have no impact whatsoever - never did on my DS who knew all of that but just couldn't manage to meet the standards on his own so was doomed to failure. If they are any good at all they will want to talk about helping you get the statement by providing adequate info to your LEA. They should also be telling you what measures they are putting inplace to help DS reintegrate at this time and help him meet their required standards of behaviour. If I was you I would use this as an opportunity to ask them what they are doing to support him as an autistic child - have they had any training or support from the outreach teachers from the LEA for example.

They can't refuse to have him at this point as they have to prove that they have tried everything reasonable and your DS still cannot manage in their environment. They obviously haven't (from what you have said on your previous thread) so haven't a leg to stand on.

Have you got someone to go with you? Parent Partnership? A friend who is on your side and good with words, someone who will be able to be a bit detached? I always get really upset and lose the ability to think and speak coherently as I am trying to defend DS and need someone who isn't quite as emotional about it all but who can speak for me IYSWIM.

Heavens the amount of these I have been to!!!

It really depends on the schools policy - but ours always consisted of the HT launching a monologue at DS about what behaviour they expected, and how his wasn't acceptable. It always went completely over his head, and suceeding in stressing him out before he'd even got back to the class room.

This meeting always clearly demonstrated to me how little knowledge the school had of autismn, and how to handle an autistic child. At one meeting the HT was really into DS's 'space' something that he absolutely hates. When I asked her to take a step back as I could see this was upsetting him, her reply was that she was trying to make eye contact with him!!!!! WTF!!!!!! Needless to say he's no longer at the school!!!

They cannot refuse to take your DS back. The only way they can do this is to permanenly exclude him, which is a very long and drawn out process, especially for a child with a disability.

I hope all goes well on Monday.

thanks fror the advice. parent partnership are horribly understaffed here but my dh is coming and he is very detatched luckily. i always have to write everything down because i get emotional and muddle my words and forget things to say.

How did it go today?

well it went surprisingly ok - not the head as she was away it was the deputy whose son has behaviour problems so i was totally gobsmacked it was so easy. I still expect the head to approach me but for now he is ok. he was very upset he had to go back but they basically let him do what he wanted all day to keep him calm. the ed psych advised not to move him as she is doing reports to suppoort the statement atm which is really frustrating but i am just taking it day by day. any sign of upset or bullying and he is out. the inclusion officer for school rang today but i wasnt in but will be interested to see what she says tomorrow.

Glad it went ok, it can be very stressful for them going back in. Try and stick it out until the statement is through as a new school often has to start from scratch to get evidence for a statement. If you are lucky your Inclusion Officer will be really helpful - ours was fantastic - and be able to put a rocket up the school to help you out. Ours wrote DS's statement and it's pretty brilliant, it's the best I've seen for an autistic child. Best of luck!

thanks - i will probably be posting hundreds of times befopre it comes through