am fuming over what DS just did to me I cant believe it

[hereidrawtheline]

We have had a lovely 2 days together, Lots and lots of fun and laughter and fun games, its been great. He loves having his nails cut and they have needed it so I said lets cut them. It turned into a stupid thing where he was saying I was hurting him even when I wasnt touching that particular foot - typical 2 year old thing. Then he wouldnt let me finish but was quite rude about it. He wanted to play train set and I said I would when he let me finish his nails. He monkeyed about the room larking about having fun and we were still laughing etc.

Then I sat him down and he was enjoying watching me do his nails. Then out of the blue he started hitting me saying GO AWAY again and again and hitting me repeatedly. I pushed him away from me and by this time he had hit me about 10 times and I said I would talk to him in a minute when he thought about it that he should not hit me.

We have a decorative rose quartz crystal thing and he took it and threw it at my head. I deflected it with my hand, which got hit, and it hit the laptop, chipped the laptop and the rock. Then he started hitting me with his fists again.

And I had done absolutely nothing. Nothing.

I put him in his room which has a stair gate on it and told him he needed to think about it. He is now crying to come out its been 2 mins so I am going to go back even though we dont do TO really I just had to do something for this.

I'm so sorry H; it sounds really stressful. Just making a guess here, but it could be that having his nails cut is one of the sensory issues things? I here it mentioned a lot on this thread - if it is one of his areas of hyper-sensitivity then he may not yet be able to articulate it/understand it well and that may be why he lashes out

hereidrawtheline, goodness me, I'm very glad you're ok though about the laptop and the lamp.

All I can think is that this is a sensory nail thing. I've read accounts of children who are near-hysterical for a solid week after having their nails cut because of the change of texture of the cut surface of the nail and the difference it makes to the way the fingertips/toes touch things. Even the tiniest change can feel like a major operation to us, unfortunately, and each child has their own sensitivities because each of us ended up with our brains slightly differently wired in. Because brains change during growth, it could be that he was expecting to still enjoy it, and then found out the brain wiring to his toes/fingers has made it unexpectedly unpleasant.

Or, another possibility is that he was laughing because he couldn't figure out the right emotion. I know that I'm SO bad at remembering which emotion to display. Often I laugh when I actually meant to feel sad or anxious or upset. And no, I can't explain it. Then when we sit quietly, we suddenly realise that something in all of that was and we can't cope with it.

Either way, he's got to learn a different way to handle the situation and not to use violence, so it's well worth asking advice from the local charity to see if there's someone who can help you teach strategies he can use at his age?

He sounds overloaded. How old is he?

DS1 always hits me when I cut his nails. I think providing he isn't going to hurt himself some space for him after doing it is the best response.

HIDTL, sorry that your DS had this episode today. My ds2 isn't violent with other people (only himself) so really cant offer much advice on that side only to say that he mainly does this when he is overloaded, so maybe the activities you had been doing were too much for him in the space of two days
You probably did the right thing though putting him in a different room to you while you (and him) calmed down a bit.
Hope he has settled down a bit more.

Hi again, yes I think there must have been a change in how he feels about it because I know a couple of weeks ago he loved it and I had to struggle to get him to put the clippers away. I only got his toes and his right hand done today, his left hand still has talons so I am going to have to tackle it tomorrow Not looking forward to it.

I had a rare night out tonight to see Confessions of a Shopoholic with DS's Nanny, (Nanny as in adopted Granny) so went to the 5 o'clock showing of that. Was so lovely to get away for a while and when I came home he was so happy to see me!!! He was in such a state. Apparently he had been "calling" me on his imaginary phone asking me to come home.

He pulled me into my bedroom with him and said I was beautiful and he LOVED me!!!! And then he kept saying it over and over and over while giggling while we cuddled. It was sooooooo beyond lovely. Really really just what I needed.

We read a book together afterwards about a Mama bear and boy bear - the boy shares DS's name. Its about whether or not the Mama loves the boy even when he is a bit naughty. I always use it to say to him how I love him no matter what. This time when I said my hypothetical question, which he always answers "yes!" to, it is "does mama still love you even when you do something to upset her?" he said "no" which made me very sad but I hope he was just saying it randomly out of confusion or something.

Good luck with the talons tomorrow. Bless him for saying he loves you.

Glad you enjoyed your time to yourself. Does you the world of good I think.

It did! And the movie was a good fun one.