Resource base versus local mainstream school

[Widemouthfrog]

I haven't posted on here for a while, because to be honest life around here has been pretty stressful.

DS, 5, HFA, currently attends our local primary. After a terrible year in reception he settled well in year 1. However, his class teacher has now been out of school since Christmas, and despite having the same regular supply teacher since then my DS has been unable to settle. His behaviour is increasingly defiant and he is very stressed. Despite more and more complex measures, which are helping his stress levels, we are still struggling to get him to access learning. He is now taught sseparately from his class with his 1:1 TA, and the Ed Psych feels this is not really inclusion.

At a review with the Ed Psych on Friday, I was asked if I had considered a resource base around 5 miles away.
To be honest, I wasn't ready for this.

Our current school is fighting to keep DS, and is pulling out all the stops. I really want to keep DS there as he is in his community, and is accepted by the local kids.
They say he is a real asset to school as he has such a great sense of humour.

I guess what I really want to know is what are peoples experiences of their kids going to an out of area resource base. Can mainstream really make this work or am I delaying the inevitable?

Can you ask for split schooling? My dd2 is on register at Sn sch 15 miles away and goes there 3 days week, but attends our local village sch for 2 days each week, she copes very well, is now yr 2 (but not doing yr2 work), has 1:1 worker (two actually due to nature of personal care needed). It works because the ms and sn schs are in favour and work together.
Had to get all this on statement.

Yes, Riven, you have hit all the points I feel. A 5 mile trip on transport would be major stress for him ( without me). I am in bristol, as you are, so yes traffic is always a problem!
He loves been taught apart, and drags his TA to his 'special desk'. He excludes himself by choice.

DS is too young to ask his opinion. He would not understand the concept of another school.

Ed psych is worried about his mental health though as his stress levels are so high. His current school is large and busy.

I have a great relationship with his current school, but is this the right reason to turn down more specialist support?

I don't think split schooling would work for us. DS needs consistency, and different schools on different days just add more transitions to his week.

I'ld speak to and maybe even visit the support base to try and get a feel for what they can offer a child like your DS by comparison to his current school.

Yes, I need to visit. I have got to come out of my denial haven't I. I,m a bit scared I will actually like it, and then my dilemma will be even worse.

Also need to think long term, so how will the next 4 or 5 years be?

Blackhorse.

Yes, I am trying to avoid becoming addicted to MN, and hang on to RL, but it is still creeping back into my life on occasions .
I like my anonymity, as I don't feel worthy of all the saintliness on here at times

We have ds with asd in ms. Your current school sounds very supportive, which is a huge plus point for staying put. Also they and you know what he is like all the time so I would trust your instincts before that of the ed psych who only sees him sometimes.
I think going to visit the other school is a good idea. I've suggested to my dh that we go and visit like schools in our area just to take the fear out of it.

Also to add that I think wanting your ds to be part of the local community is a valid reason for him to stay as well.

Thanks Nikos. I know other families have fought for a place in the base that we are being recommended, but it just doesn't feel right. I guess if our current school wasn't so supportive, a resurce base would be our lifeline. But our school is genuinely trying, and for that i am soooo grateful.

You folks are great in helping me feel confident about my instincts.

Do you feel ok about your son being taught by a TA all the time and not a teacher? This has always been one of my concerns with my daughter in mainstream.

I would also visit the school being suggested as Nikos says and then you will have a really clear idea about it.

We have visited over 10 special schools in the quest to find a suitable school for my daughter and although exhausting we both feel it has been very helpful.

Good point about the TA. His TA is very capable, and obviously she is not setting his work, but supporting him to complete it, so I feel comfortable atm. I will do the visit though. There will have to be some major pros to persuade me though I think.

Does your ds have a visual timetable at school? We found this wasn't quite enough for ds, so they introduced First/Then cards so that he could just focus on the next 2 activities in the day (let me know if you haven't seen the first/then concept). Rather than going back to his workstation and looking at the whole day.
What do you think is making your ds stressed at the moment? Is it possible for him to do shorter days for a while (not logistically easy or even desirable, I know)? What about the TA bringing one or two other children out from the class to work with him?

Riven. We are is S Glos. Don't want to name names but our EP tends to need a shove to do anything, but when she actually turns up and does her reports she is very good.

Nikos, we have loads of visual support in school. A visual timetable - a personal one for DS and another class one, reward charts for going into the playground, reward charts for completing work. help cards. Wait cards He wears ear defenders at at break/lunchtimes. They use a weighted lap pad to help calm him when stressed. His desk has a visual sequence for starting his work. They use a first work then reward system and a finished tray. His rewards include time for sensory play with ribbons, sensory balls etc.

He did shorter days all last year. I don't see it as a option as once introduced it unsettles him further and he just waits for me to collect him.

We are currently trying to decide on a satisfactory withdrawal area for his overload, as there is no quiet space in school. The SENCO is looking into getting a pop up tent that he can retreat into, with ear defenders if necessary. They do use headphones and music, and he is allowed to go to the library to share books with his TA.

Gosh, writing all that down has just made me realise how much school is doing! How can i give up on them when they are putting in so much effort.

He does still do some small group work with the class, but anything that requires desk work he does alone outside of class. He also has time to talk sessions twice a week in a small groups. He can only cope with the groups when he is not stressed which is rarely at the moment. Amazingly, despite all this his classmates are very good with him. But then again, when he is happy it is completely contagious so he can be very endearing.

I think the trigger is mostly sensory. He is working so hard to cope with the hustle and bustle of school that he becomes exhausted and overloaded, and then frequently falls asleep as a method of shutdown, as he cannot withdraw. Unfortunately we are on a very long waiting list for referral to an OT.

We are currently going through annual review so I am pushing for full time 1:1. He is currently supported all day in class, but is not formally supervised through lunch. A number of incidents with unfamiliar staff have taken weeks for him to recover from during this unsupervised period of the day.

I should just add, 18 months ago when DS started school, we didn't even realise he had any special needs. Its been a big adjustment to where we are now. DS is a bright boy, and this has distracted us from the magnitude of his difficulties. His exhaustion is the indicator of just how hard he has to work to keep it all together at school.

It does sound like he feels very overloaded by school. And it might be that he does need to be taught on his own because of this. I suppose we all want our children to mix with others because that is the norm. But it sounds like this is too much for your son at the moment and he needs that time on his own with the TA. Is that wrong? (I ask because the ed psych seems to be saying it is, not that I think you do). Maybe there just needs to be a bit of flexibility until he is a bit more mature and perhaps gets help with the sensory issues.
Or there may be a case for the unit you talked about which will presumably be more calm. But that is the big unknown at the minute so maybe a visit might help. I would imagine you would know right away if it was the right one for your ds.
It is so hard to know with these things isn't it?

I mean flexibility in the sense of him just being allowed to be taught on his own. I'm waffling a bit as have had long day

...I am in S Glos, and have finally (today) received an Asperger's diagnosis for my 11 year old, who is struggling in his mainstream secondary.

I have recently visited the closer of the two secondary resource bases in the LEA (Hanham High) and was very impressed....

The children function within mainstream, but are given as much, or as little, special guidance as they require...

I am told that my urchin may get to join in year 8. I hope so....

...so, in short, I am all in favour of resource base for MY child. I think you have to go and look, then decide....

Good luck!

Pipin-our school is very supportive but at ds review meeting last week the head(also the SENCO) said supervision at lunchtime is the easiest one to drop!!! My heart lurched at that point. Would have thought lunchtime was one of the stress points of the day.