Autistic steplads

[TWA]

Hi is there anyone out there with stepchildren with Autisim. I have been with my partner for four years, and we got married last month. My stepsons come and stay every weekend, sometimes I feel baffled, lost and out of my depth and I just want to be a good stepmum.:0

Hi. Congratulations!!!! ( Being baffled goes along with the territory I'm afraid-you'll never be a good step-mum-autistic kids or not, try not to dwell on it!!!!) It shows what a good 'mum' you are simply by asking for advice-we all know 'real' parents that dont try and find things out!! The only real way of getting your head around whats going on in theirs is to spend as much time with them as possible, and maybe find something that you can spend time doing together, which can be easier said than done! My 11 yr old dd has been my step d since she came out of care at 16 months old, (her dad is now my x)and she still stays with me me for 1/2 wk and the hols-she has attachment disorder as well as hormones and despite having her since she was a baby I sometimes wish our relationship would be better. My new dh is therefore step-dad to dd and ds (7yo) (SEN) and finds them both very challenging for very different reasons. His relationship with ds gets difficult because he doesnt have the 'natural' way of understanding him I suppose,(ds is non verbal, sld, challenging behaviour etc) but the more time he spends with him the better it seems to be. eg if they spend time together at the park, when they come home they sit together and usually ds falls asleep on him, and that can go on for a few days/weeks, but if I've 'taken over' for a few days, dh finds it hard to manage his behaviour, understand his communication etc. (I am also step-mum to his 2 dc's, 18yo wants nothing to do with either of us and his dd 9yo is not allowed by her mum to have much to do with us despite having 2 new siblings!!!) No advice about autism but there are some lovely mums on here with alot of experience of ASD's and hopefully some better advice on finding 'a way in'.

Hi TWA, I'm not a stepmum, but I have a form of autism and I'm a mum, so that might help a bit. Are you able to tell us a little more about the stepson(s)? Ages? What sort of autism - classic, Asperger syndrome, high-functioning? What kind of things are you finding most of a challenge?

Hi there.

One lad is twelve and is autistic but high functioning, he doesn't like hugging but after four years when he goes back to his mum he lets me hug him. H ecan be closed off at times and his social skills can be abrupt at times is hard when I'm tired and it can upset me. His brother is fifteen and has Aspergers he has an Aspergers base at his school, which has really helped him. He is a sensitive caring soul:-0