Any adults with dyspraxia on here, or parents of dyspraxic children to give me a bit of insight?

[onthepier]

This isn't about my children by the way, it's about me, (long sorry)!

Basically, I've never had a problem with anything academic, but ever since I can remember I've struggled with certain practical tasks, + the more I've heard about dyspraxia lately, the more I wonder if it could be my problem.

I can't drive, (have spent a lot of money on lessons over the years but haven't managed to pass a test), + two different instructors have told me I seem capable of doing it but it's my co-ordination that's the problem. I can't seem to co-ordinate my brain + body on so many things at once!

I had a shop job over Xmas, just covering for the busy period + was fine, with all aspects of it except changing till rolls of all things! Regardless of how many times I was shown I just couldn't take in which way to fit the till roll/which button to press etc all at once + I could see people were getting frustrated. I can do it now, (I'm occasionally called in to help out), but the other two who started with me were shown once + knew instantly for next time).

I don't have problems with general household things, childcare/cooking etc, but as my dc's are getting older, (my oldest is 10), I'm finding that any new toys/games they have, (complex lego sets/diablos/computer games), I struggle with + I realise it's hand/eye co-ordination + spatial awareness. It's at family get-togethers when the in-laws say, "Let's see if ONTHEPIER can manage this game!", then laugh when I can't, saying to my dc's "Mummy's not very good is she?!" I feel !

I'm better equipped than their dad to help with homework + things like that, (he's more practical than academic luckily)!

The only aspect of childcare I did struggle with when they were younger was fixing their car seats in, (obv don't drive so this was in taxis + friends' cars), some of them got quite impatient which is why I preferred to wheel the pushchair/pram on to a bus!

By the way I've never had any problems reading + writing, (people tend to ask me if they're stuck on a spelling as I never have to use a dictionary!) People have commented in the past at how confident/capable I come over which is why work colleagues etc, often come to me for help on things. I can see they look bemused though if anything comes up requiring co-ordination/spatial awareness +_I can't manage it! Funnily enough though I'm a natural pianist!

Apparently as a child I was late to crawl/walk/talk + although was advanced in my school work, struggled with things such as riding a bike/tying shoelaces etc.

I just wondered whether anybody with an insight into dyspraxia could say from what I've written, whether I'm likely to be affected. Would appreciate your advice!

I am no expert - I have a son who has dyspraxia that's all - but it sounds like you might be affected to me.

Have you had a look at The Dyspraxia Foundation website?

Occupational therapy stops at 11 here so I don't know what help is available to adults but maybe the DF might be able to help if you feel you need it. I think part of the reason the OT stops at 11 is because by then a lot of children have sufficient coping strategies to deal with it and probably you have developed some for yourself but maybe there is more you could do if you had help. I suppose it is up to you to decide whether it is worth it and whether you are curious to know for sure.

Good luck.

Yes, can play the piano, do art, type at amazing speed, but alas can fall off a bike, fail to fold simple things neatly, etc. The psych for autism ran through the dypraxia testing with me and suggested I have it as well as the ASD. I've never gone for a full dx on it though.

It doesn't make life easy. Well worth asking for an opinion off an expert, I'd say.

Thank you for your messages, it's an interesting issue. I will take a look at the Dyspraxia Foundation website. I'm curious to know for sure if I'm dyspraxic, but unsure of what my reaction would be if I was diagnosed, whether I'd be upset because I'm "different", (+ I don't mean this in a negative way to people who have special needs at all, btw), or relieved to find there's actually a reason why I struggle with certain things.

I didn't realise autism could be linked to dyspraxia, AMBER, but interestingly enough, our son who's just started school was diagnosed with autism last year + it's made me wonder if it's something genetic. Do you drive, AMBER? Just wondered as I've found it near enough impossible!

I have felt hurt at times, as I sometimes have a tendency to, for example, turn a key in the lock the wrong way before I realise + do it the right way, go to the toilet in a pub/restaurant + come out through a different door to the one I entered! I instantly realise + then do it right, but if someone's with me they'll often say, "NO, THIS WAY!!", (with an eye roll)! I can see why they do, but I wonder if explaining a diagnosis may make things easier.

I must say I don't really struggle day-to-day, just occasionally with things, but maybe as you say I've developed coping strategies! I'll think about whether to take this forward.

My DS has AS as well and there is definitely an overlap. I suppose diagnosis depends on where the balance of the problems lie. I would say my DS's problems are split 50/50 or even 60/40 to the dyspraxia - it is definitely the most troublesome part of his life.

I can't imagine my DS ever being able to drive but then he is only 8 and I am trying not thinking that far ahead. It's not necessarily that he won't get his coordination together to do it but more that he just won't be able to take in all the info you need to take in when you are on the road.

Having said that DS2 is 5 and I can imagine him driving as he is so much more together even though he is younger.

I wish you luck whatever you decide to do.

One the things that ds1's OT explained to me that the difference between clumsiness and dyspraxia is motor planning. On the face of it it's hard to tell the difference, but through doign an assessment it was apparent that ds1's signals for motor planning weren't getting through to his body.

That shows up in just about everything he does really. I've noticed that most people I've met with dyspraxia walk with an unusual gait. I def can't ever see ds1 driving, and he prob never will be able to write properly neither, but his dyspraxia is compounded with other issues. I'm still doubtful as to whether he will be able to ride a two wheeled bike or swim too.

I do wonder if it is possible to have dyspraxia and not struggle with writing, but then again the piano playing may have helped with that. I've heard that learnign an instrument can be beneficial to people with dyspraxia and help improve motor control.

Dyspraxia like most conditions can be in varying amounts, so it might be worth looking into it, but I'm not sure that it would really be beneficial now. Maybe you could consider things that might help improve your co-ordination, like yoga or martial arts?

You sound just like me! I am an adult dyspraxic and am waiting to go to hospital to see if i have Adult ADHD. I find lots of things difficult, when the mop head comes off at work I find it impossible to put it back on despite being shown hundreds of times! I have failed my driving test seven times and have given up trying now. I failed all my O Levels despite being told I was very bright. I struggled with my ds's car seat and i struggled putting my Dyson back together the other day to the point that if my lovely Mum hadnt been there I would have chucked it at the wall!! I was an early talker but took ages to walk. If you want to contact me I can give you my email address and then have it deleted!

You sound very like me too (my handwriting is appalling but thankfully can type well!). Not sure I would meet the criteria for a DX, and apart from not driving, which can be a bind I don't really feel any need for treatment, so can't be bothered to follow it up in anyway.
I still can't ride a bike, and am pretty bad at doing shoelaces.

Chops - my DS has an unsual gait as well which has been getting worse, so much so that we were referred to a gait clinic last October. They couldn't do anything for him although I think part of the problem is that he has been growing so fast!

I agree with you about the handwriting too although we have noticed suddenly that DS's handwriting isn't that bad. It is horribly messy and he can't seem to control the size and spacing of his letters yet but it is readable. Mind you, it has taken 4.5 yrs of extra help to get to that stage!

There are no quick fixes for dyspraxia. I suppose that is a consideration for you onthepier - do you have the time, energy and inclination to do therapies which may take a long time to have an effect?

Onthepier, I am very much like you and also suspect that if dyspraxia had been commonly diagnosed when we were young I might have had this label (although I'm also not sure where gross clumsiness/lack of spatial awareness/disorganisation ends and dyspraxia begins). Not sure what I think about it really. I suppose it would be pretty good in the summer when one is always called upon to join in family badminton/rounders etc to be able to say "sorry - I'm dyspraxic" rather than looking like the miserable sod who won't join in - or alternatively trying to join in and ruining the entire game (I find this kind of thing hell).

I'm very keen to know more about it as dd (3) is looking quite similar. She's doing ballet and swimming, both of which I hope will help. She loves ballet at the moment, but has great difficulty following physical instructions - a curtsey is almost impossible for her even after weeks and weeks of practice. I am hoping in her case it will be mild enough not to be an issue outside of games lessons when she is older, but am interested to know how it is dealt with in schools nowadays.

Just realised that posting about not being able to curtsey or play rounders on the special needs board looks a bit pathetic and might be quite annoying - sorry . I realise that those who have to go as far as getting a diagnosis generally have very much more serious problems to deal with. Am really keen to learn more about this subject.

IB - I can't speak for other parts of the country and what other LEAs/HA do but here DS1 has an OT programme which he does at school. This was 3 times a week although I found out today that they want to do it 5 times a week (but with shorter sessions). That is with an LSA. They have also tried to provide him with tools that make life easier like a writing slope and special easy to grip pens and pencils. And of course as the school knows about his difficulties they make allowances for him when he has motor skills trouble. The OT comes to the school once a year which isn't much but they are very short staffed so we do rely quite heavily on the school for help.

He did have speech therapy for a while because he had a strange way of pronouncing things due to the muscles in his mouth not working properly rather than because he couldn't speak, iyswim.

If his handwriting and recording skills are holding him back he will be allowed a scribe for his SATS. I expect this to be the case as he did very well at KS1 in the SATS that required no writing but not so well with the ones that did. I think some schools allow extra time or a laptop.

Don't worry about the curtseying - it is a clue - it should, in theory, be something she should be able to do and she can't. Any info you have helps if you do go down the diagnosis route.

If you haven't had a look before, I put a link to the Dyspraxia Foundation website further down for onthepier - it is linked to the adult page but there is one for children, split by age. I found it really useful when we were trying to work out what was wrong with DS!

I've read through all your responses, thank you!

CHOPS - you mentioned "walking with an unusual gait" which you've noticed in dyspraxics. Well, I've lost count of the times people have commented that I "walk awkwardly", including my husband!

Of course I don't feel awkward when I walk, but it's happened many times when I've been walking along with somebody, + the other person would ask if I've hurt my leg or why I'm limping! Of course I don't think I'm limping at all so I'm rather !

Looking at the Dyspraxia Website, I can't help but remember one time at primary school, (I must have been about 8), when we were making Xmas decorations, following the teacher's instructions step-by-step, only for my Xmas decoration to look completely different from all the others! My teacher just screamed at me, "Why are you being so disobedient, we have this every time!" I was in tears that evening, as I just couldn't think what I'd done wrong.

Apparently he said to my parents, "She's an intelligent girl, she's just disobedient!" Disobedient was the last thing I was, I was quite "meek + mild" actually.

The more I look into this the more interesting I find the whole "dyspraxia" issue. I feel I meet all the criteria, but will think twice about finding out for sure. Thanks, everybody.

onthepier - I find this thread really interesting, because it makes me think a lot of my ds1. He has some obvious physical excuses for some of his motor skills delays - he has low muscle tone and is extremely hypermobile. However, there is definitely more going on than that... He is just no good at all at working out how to do practical things, and that even included rolling over, crawling and walking as a baby (for which he needed physiotherapy, and I'll always remember the physio commenting on how he never seemed to progress beyond the point to which he'd been taught, even though she felt his muscle strength was sufficient to be able to go further once he'd got a bit of extra help, and his joints were not so very unstable that he shouldn't be able to achieve it...). HOWEVER, his writing is really quite good for an only just 5-year old boy with extremely hypermobile joints (ie it is very legible, keeps to the lines, the letters are all of a reasonably similar size - certainly for a child of his age - and he is already speeding up, despite his hypermobility making his grip a bit awkward - rather like my grip, in fact, which never caused me any actual problems). Basically, he is OK with any movement that can be learnt through careful teaching and repetition, even something as complex as writing, but just can't initiate anything himself. We even had to teach him how to unwrap presents and tin foil, how to dress (down to the last detail - it took me months to work out how to break it down like this, as it comes so naturally to most people!), he can't wipe his own bottom, he can't colour in (does a few squiggles instead), he needed lots of active help to learn how to pedal a tricycle, he struggles putting lids on things because he doesn't seem to understand how to line them up to fit over the base, hates jigsaws (but never had a problem with peg puzzles or shape sorters as a baby, as he spent a lot of time doing them when he wasn't mobile, although part of his expertise was again based on memory more than shape recognition, I think - he'd remember where the pieces went from when he'd taken them out), he can't work out how to draw a stick person or indeed anything else (again, I had to break it down into bits for him, explaining, eg, why a person's legs really can't stick out the top of their head and arms shouldn't float in space, but are attached to the rest of the person... and this is a boy who could read without even needing to trace the words with his fingers to keep his place at age 3 and taught himself his times tables, has an unbelievably good memory and active imagination, so it is peculiarly obtuse compared to all other aspects of his development!!!!!). None of his gross motor movements seem particularly natural, but this could be explained by his hypermobility. The not having a clue how to follow his dance teacher, though, is nothing to do with his hypermobility, but more to do with the fact that she isn't manhandling his body into the right position, so he just doesn't know how to achieve what she is showing him. Basically, there is something weird about his visual perception that enables him to track words on a page with no problem, but not to decipher other things in the way he would be expected to, particularly things in 3-D. What I do know is that he fulfils all the criteria for the physical delays you would expect as a result of dyspraxia, except for the handwriting. I'm quite sure it will be years before he can swim or ride a bike, in any event!!!! I've sometimes wondered if there could be something wrong with his eyes, but I don't see how that wouldn't affect his ability to read and track words easily on a page. Oh, and he still has trouble understanding that if you wan't someone else to see something on a page, you have to turn the page round to face them so that they can see it (with the writing the right way up...). He was trying to look at mirror writing in the mirror the other day, but just couldn't work out how to get the page to face the mirror properly; he seemed to want the page kept turned towards himself so that he knew where it was (ie if he couldn't see it, his brain just lost track of where it could be on its journey round to face the mirror).

asteamedpoater, your son sounds very complex! my ds also has hypermobility as well as dyspraxia. It does seem to be fairly common combination. I've never heard of a link between egocentricity and dyspraxia before, but I wonder if that could be possible since there is such a strong relationship between dyspraxia and ASD.

FWIW at first our OT did think that the co-ordination problems ds1 has could be down to hypermobility making it that much harder to control movement, so it is possible that some fo the things you describe to be down to HMS. I think the only way you would find out for sure is to get him tested.

Hi, ChopstheDuck,

Yes, my ds1 is a rather unusual specimin!!!!! I suspect his not turning a book round for the person he's showing something to has more to do with his co-ordination than a genuine failure to understand that they can't otherwise see what he's looking at (ie he just can't work out how to get the book facing the other way with the words still facing the right way up, the correct page still open and in such a way that he can still locate what it is he wants to show the other person, so he just keeps the book facing towards him to make his life simpler).

I constantly wonder how much his issues can be laid at the door of hypermobility/low tone. For example, I have a little theory that some of his difficulties may stem from the complete lack of force he puts on things (due to low tone and joint instability): as a result, maybe he just doesn't get the feedback to his brain as to whether what he is doing would work if he pushed/pulled/twisted harder, or whether he's just doing it wrong and that's why it won't work, so he gives up before he's completed a movement. After years of not achieving things by himself and needing to be shown how to do things so that he can know he is on the right track and can gradually build up the effort/strength levels to achieve the right degree of force to do something, maybe part of him has given up trying to work things out for himself and become reliant on being taught, or part of his brain is under-developed as a result of his failure to learn through trial and error how, eg, to crawl as a baby, so that he continues to need to be taught even now he is quite a bit stronger!!!!! Whatever it is, I do find it confusing, especially since I've always been very hypermobile, but it never caused me any of these difficulties (admittedly, I'm not low toned...). You're right though, he needs to be tested to help work out what, if anything else, is going on besides his hypermobility and muscle tone issues. I haven't managed to persuade the NHS to do this for me, yet, though, so I may have to pay for a private OT's assessment if I want anything done before his problems become too obvious at school.

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My DS has dyspraxia. We didn't think he'd ever learn to ride a bike but his grandparents taught him one summer. He then went over the handlebars and smashed his front teeth

He had a really odd gait which was partially sorted out by cranial osteopathy.

He has just passed his driving test on the 5th attempt (auto gearbox- he couldn't manage a manual) so there is hope yet.

Thanks for your posts!

It's interesting that the last couple of posters have mentioned driving, as my biggest bugbear is people asking me why I don't drive! If I say I find it hard/have trouble with dual carriageways/roundabouts etc, people look at me as if I'm mad + tell me it's just perseverance! I can't get people to understand that I've had roughly 3 YEARS of lessons, (not all in one go), + just haven't managed it!

I've been so determined to get there, but have never found anything so difficult!

I wonder if I told people I'm dyspraxic, (shouldn't because I haven't been diagnosed although I'm pretty sure myself), they might show more understanding!