please help... I am so scared.

[scaredtofacethis]

I am having to face up to the fact that our DS who's 2.9 may have difficulties. He is chatty and sociable, but doesn't seem to understand boundaries. If he does somethingn naughty, we tell him off, but he will go straight back to it. it's almost like a compulsion - it's like he has an uncontrollable urge to keep repeating behaviour over and over, even though he knows it is wrong. I don't think he has autism, he is too sociable - has plenty of friends and engages with strangers and familair adults alike.

With babies he is amazingly sensitive and gentle. He seems quite bright - he already knows his numbers and letters,but with kids his own age he is quite hyper sometimes and will hit them over and over on the head if he's annoyed.

We are about to start nursery, and have done his settling in. His behaviour and strange habits have been commented on already and I know the staff already think he's a handful. I'm so scared to admit we have a problem here and am tempted to hide until we can't ignore it any longer. Should we see the DR or HV now, or wait until the nursery broach the subject? I'm worried he's going to be labelled as a trouble maker or disruptive influence. TBH we've suspected for a while but haven't wanted to admit that there could be something wrong.

TBH as a nursery nurse nothing sounded out of the ordinary for a two year old.

• chatty/sociable - tick
• naughty - tick
• keeps being naughty even when told No - tick
• sensitive/gentle with babies - tick
• knows his letters/numbers - some do / some don't
• hyper with other children - tick
• hit them if annoyed - tick

What are your other worries? Obviously if you feel there is something you can speak to the health visitor, maybe the senco at the nursery, or your doctor.

Hi Twims. At settling in last week, he emptied water over another child. He was told off, teh child was dried and changed, and he did it again as soon as the kids returned to the water trough. At home, he is obsessed with kitchen appliances, he will switch them on/off all day. I can put him on time out, he will say sorry and go and do it again.

Hi

That sounds very similar to my dd who has only just been diagnosed as having Aspergers. She was also diagnosed with sensory processing disorder and dyspraxia when she was 4.

The hitting children repeatedly on the head is very familiar to me and something she did a lot when she was younger. She was very touchy feely and felt a compulsion to touch everything and annoy everyone. This was due to her being "sensory seeking" and the poor thing was just trying to give her body the feedback it craved. It was all noticed in nursery and the teacher was always very negative about dd. She used to say she wouldn't listen, wouldn't sit still, annoyed all the children, practically sat on their laps, couldn't manage simple things in PE, wouldn't join in group games. At the same time she was highly intelligent and knew all her numbers and letters when she was 2 and spoke in sentences from age 16 months.

She is also quite sociable and has friends so don't rule out an ASD just because of that. If he is bright he could be high functioning. My dd struggles wwith some social rules and anger at times but is still very popular and has a few friends.

If you feel there is an issue I would do something about it but you will probably find that the GPs are rubbish and know little about Sensory problems or ASD's. I opted for a private report regarding her sensory difficulties which I then took to my GP who referred me to my local children's centre for occupational therapy. Last year we were referred by the OT for a Paed assessment as my dd had loads of issues starting in Year 1.

I hope you get the answers and help you need. I know what its like to know there is something wrong and have everyone tell you they are fine and are just naughty! My biggest fear was also that she would be labelled "disruptive" and not understood.

Try your GP if you think they would be helpful, if they aren't just be pushy and asked to be referred to a Paed for an assessment. Go armed with lots of info and don't back down!

Good luck and let us know how you are getting on.

bear
x

Hi bear, thanks for your support. It does sound very similar to what we are going through. Did you find your dd needed lots of movement as a baby? My DS would only sleep on the move, and has only just strated sleeping thru the night now.

I think we are going to bite the bullet and get him assessed. I'm scared stiff about what it means for his future, but I want to avoid the disruptive label and get him help if he needs it.

Just wanted to add that I'm not in any way saying your ds has an ASD but just how it turned out for us. The problem with children so young is it's hard to tell ASD traits from normal young childhood behaviour whch is why dd was diagnosed when she was 6.

The sensory stuff was diagnosed aged 3 3/4 but that was a private sensory clinic, probably would have been much later if I had waited for NHS.

just do what you feel is right, I always knew deep down she was different, that's what makes her so special

take care
bear
x

DD was a very unsettled baby, slept very well at night but screamed and was constantly tired in the daytime, fed poorly and was in general a nightmare

We found a strict routine worked for her and eventually she slept well in the day but only because we were rigid with her routine. It was limiting for us but worked for her. she is very restless and scored high on a Conners questionnaire for restlessness and attention span questions. Paed is monitoring that to see if it becomes more apparent and effects her at school more, possible attention deficit to go with all the other stuff!

bear
x

See this is what puzzles me. We have just read 4 picture books at bedtime - one of them 3 times thru. Sometimes he concentrates so well and other times it's just a nightmare. I don't know whether his behaviour is attention seeking or theres' truly a problem. DH and I have decided to call the HV to get her to visit. We need to find out, as it is worse not knowing. We'll let you know what she says

I think the stage where you suspect there is an issue but aren't sure is so hard. I made endless notes about ds1 during that stage, they came in really useful when we did get to the stage of seeing paediatricians, HV's etc. Good luck with it all, keep us posted on how you get on.