I'm looking for advice / info..........can anyone help?

[mogs0]

My friend's dss is 11. He's had adhd since he was 5 and been on and off meds. He had a bad reaction to the medication so he came off it then his behaviour got more difficult for his mother to manage so he's back on it. The dr has recently told his mother that they think he has ASD but I think that's as far as its gone.

He is regularly suspended from school because of his behaviour and they don't seem to get any support from the school. I think they have written him off as a naughty child and are just waiting for this year to be over when he'll go to secondary school.

For the rest of this school year he will be attending a SN school for half the day then back to his current school for the rest of the day.

My friend is really stressed about it all because no one seems to be offering them positive steps forward, they just seem to be excluding him from his classmates.

My friend is really stressing over how to handle the situation because she really loves her dss and doesn't know where to go to get the support he needs so I said I'd come here and ask MN for some advice.

Sorry, it turned into a bit of an essay!!

Hi Mogs0. Can't advise but bumping for you. There's quite a few posters here whose DCs have ADHD so hopefully someone will be along soon!

Does your friends ds have a statement of sen? (If he is attending a sn unit/school he most probably does) but if he hasn't it would be the first thing to do. Parents can apply for a statement it doesnt have to be the school. A statement details the educational needs a child has what support he must receive. It is much harder to exclude a child once a statement is in place. It might be worth looking at the IPSEA website. Also ADDIS and NAS.
I belong to a local support group for parents of children with ADHD and ASD and it is quite helpful. It is supprising how many children have a very similar history - because ADHD is so poorly supported in schools. Also I suspect many children would have fared better if their underlying ASD had been recognised earlier.

difficult position as presumably being stepmum your friend wouldn't have full control in terms of assessments etc - would suggest that your friend looks at NAS website, and takes the suggestion re:ASD very seriously, it could explain a lot of the problems DSS has had with school, and if he has ASD then if he gets the DX should help make it clear to schools that it's not a case of naughtiness.

agree with magso about her trying the local support groups for ADHD and or ASD.

I have found the Help seminars run by the NAS helpful, although only available to those already diagnosed on the spectrum. There is also a campaign/course run via Addiss (I think - i have not attended it) called 'Why Try' which aims to help motivate older children with ADHD (who often have a natural enthusiasm and exhuberance) who have been turned off by the system.
Support groups can help with local knowledge and emotional support when times are rough.
I agree with Total Chaos, the ASD Dx (if he has asd) may be very important in first understanding the child then supporting him - and also in getting the need for support and understanding from the educational system!

It's got to be worth her talking to IPSEA, the charity that helps people with rude schools who refuse to take disability seriously. Can be found by googling that word. They were great with us over our son's issues.

Thanks for the replies. I'm not sure if he has a statement. I did ask my friend about it this morning but she didn't know. I'll have a look at the sites mentioned and see if I can get any info sent out to her (she hasn't got internet at home).

I've only met her dss once and he was so lovely. It makes me feel really sad that children can be written off so young when there are ways to help them. Hopefully, I'll be able to get her some info to help.

Thanks again!