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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

I'm slightly pissed off

43 replies

5inthebed · 06/03/2009 21:30

My "friend" who is also the godmother of my ds1 and ds2 has just changed her status on facebook to:

XXXXX is licking the windows at the back of the specials bus again

I though so so much better of her. I've sent her a very nasty responce, there really is NO need for that.

OP posts:

Deeeja · 08/03/2009 14:25

Silly bitch!

PheasantPlucker · 09/03/2009 20:16

Deeja - I assume that was to the nasty woman, not to me and the cakes!!

Original poster

5inthebed · 09/03/2009 20:17

LOL!!!!

OP posts:

kettlechip · 09/03/2009 20:57

What a vile thing to write. Hopefully your reaction has made her think before she ever does anything so stupid again..

Original poster

5inthebed · 09/03/2009 21:08

Well she deleted my response and didn't bother to explain herself. She has been sending me a few nasty emails, blaming ME for using ds2 to stop being friends with her. Yes, I really am that petty.

I could really cry about this. She has said some horrible things in her emails. Maybe I've been a bit OTT about it all.

OP posts:

LollipopViolet · 09/03/2009 22:00

No you haven't. She knows about your DS, she knows that's an insult and she's still done it. She's a fool and you're better off without her, says the gospel of a 19 year old

NotPlayingAnyMore · 09/03/2009 23:26

"I'm fuming at this tbh, she had either better apologise publicly on facebook and have a really good reason for putting it there, or she can piss off. Actually she can do both!

It gets even better though. I've just done her a glowing reference for her new job...looking after elderly disabled people! Maybe I should retract it?"

All of the above! There'll never be a good reason for putting it there.
When people do this it says more about themselves than it ever will about disabled people, i.e. they have ishoos and very wierd ones at that.

Good on you for getting rid

hereidrawtheline · 10/03/2009 15:30

That is a really crap thing for your "ex" friend to have written. You havent been OTT. Its rude and crass of her and shame on her she should know better.

madsadlibrarian · 10/03/2009 16:23

Be v. careful what you do about the reference - make sure you know the legal position - I don't know the details of why this is, but where I work we don't give "proper" references at all now - as people can cause so much trouble if they find out you have given a negative one - I don't know the details of why or how this is, but might be worth checking before acting as she sounds as though she might get vindictive if thwarted.

well rid by the sounds.

Original poster

5inthebed · 10/03/2009 17:05

I wouldn't withdraw my reference, I'm not that horrible. She needs a job.

She has continued with the emails today. Her being a bitch and me just telling her as it is. My favourite quote for today would be

"I would never do anything to hurt ds2's feelings. It isn't his fault he has this awful condition"

She has no idea! She can't see how she has done wrong, and she says she removed my comment as she didn't want other people to feel uncomfortable reading it!

I am well rid of her. I knew she was a nasty piece of work.

OP posts:

SixSpot · 10/03/2009 17:14

That's dreadful. I'm really shocked.

hereidrawtheline · 10/03/2009 19:31

Have you said to her "do you not realise you could have been taking the piss out him him like that? and all the children who ride the 'special' bus are just like him? lovely little normal children?"

Original poster

5inthebed · 10/03/2009 20:23

Indeed I have. She plainly can't see it.

I was discussing this with my mother today, and she thinks I have blown the whole thing out of proportion and deserve everything I get. Thanks mam!

So glad I can speak to people who know what I'm going on about.

OP posts:

hereidrawtheline · 10/03/2009 20:31

wow. I am very sorry your Mum thinks that. That must really make you feel insecure about your stance on it? Honestly I would feel the same way had it been me.

Original poster

5inthebed · 10/03/2009 21:31

Yes very. My mam isn't supportive at all about ds2. She just doesn't get him. She is very annoying, hence why I don't visit very often.

OP posts:

wannaBe · 10/03/2009 21:40

I thihnk there are people who ignorantly don't realize how offensive what they're saying is. But then I think they divide into two categories, those who apologize after being set straight and those who feel they've done nothing wrong.

I remember a friend of mine sent me an email once that contained fairly similar content - I was horrified. So I sent him an email back telling him how horrible it was and why. he was very apologetic and apologised profucely to his entire email list and said he would never send stuff like that out again. he can, IMO, be forgiven his ignorance as he was prepared to learn from it and put it right.

Your "friend" however sounds like she belongs in the second camp, and you are well rid.

Original poster

5inthebed · 10/03/2009 22:04

I agree on that Wannabe. There are definitely those who are prepared to apologise for their errors. I once made an unknown but mild racist remark, and apologised as soon as I knew. I felt awful about it.

OP posts:

SJisontheway · 11/03/2009 14:20

I think it is disgraceful behaviour. The comment could possibly be forgiven out of ignorance but to refuse to appologise!
I once had a work colleague who was telling this story on how he was suffering that day after football training where the coach had them do "Christys". Some exercise where you lie downand stand up while keeping your arms by your sides. Ther called afer Christy Brown (My left foot) I was disgusted and told him so, but in his defence he appologised so I forgave. There is so much ignorance out there but I don't get it when people won't back down even when they know they have offended.

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