Can anyone help me with exactly what I need to say to Ds's teacher to let her know my concerns and that I want more doing ?

[CrackerNut]

I am really bad at explaining things to people like doctors and teachers, as I always feel like they think I am being nuerotic and talking rubbish.

I am going to ask Ds's teacher if I can speak to her after school tommorow or even tonight if she has time, but I am not sure what I want to say.

I have another thread somewhere about my concerns with Ds but basically, I feel that he is getting further and further behind in every area of school and that he needs additional, regular help and i'd also like the senco to become invloved, i think.

Basically what I want to say is 'i think there is something more to this than just him being him', but say it in a better way.

It doesn't help that I tend to get overly emotional everytime I even think of discussing this with anyone as I kind of feel like I am being unfair to Ds discussing his failures if you get what I mean.

Anyone ?

I am worried I will say too much tbh. There are specific conditions which I am concered he may have but don't really want to suggest them to the school just yet as I think they might think me nuts lol.

I will make a list though, that is a good idea.

I will list my main concerns I think and then see what his teachers reaction is.

Can I insist on seeing a senco by the way ? And if I do see the senco what do i actually do, just tell them my concerns again ?

I feel like I am about to start a bomb ticking thb.

I think you'd said he was behind in reading, writing, spelling, has a short attention span and finds he doesn't/can't listen and can't remember or follow instructions unless the instruction is very short.

This sounds very similar to my DS, who was found to be dyslexic. Not saying yours is, but it's one possibility.

I'd say that he doesn't seem to be making progress, say exactly what you've said to us about which bits are hard, and say that he is very worried indeed about this. Say that you'd like the school to assess him for dyslexia or whatever else it might be (they should be able to do a simple test or refer you to someone who can). And do ask for an appointment to see the SENCO if the teacher doesn't immediately suggest this.

Some schools think that if a child is somewhere sort of average in the classrooms work, that's good enough, but that's not what the law says at all. A child has to be given the same chance to progress, not left to slide to the middle or lower bits of the class.

Have a look at Dyslexia Action's website. www.dyslexiaaction.org.uk/Page.aspx?PageId=10

See if any of it matches, maybe?

And yes, same info again to the SENCO, and you can insist on seeing them.

Thanks Amber thats really helpful.

I did do a questionaire on dyslexia from the Bristol Dyslexia Centre and my answers for Ds scored 70% indicating some positive signs of dyslexia and advice to seek proffesional advice.

Can I ask how old your Ds was when he was diagnosed ??

My other concern is APD.

One of biggest concerns at the mo is that Ds has to be looking directly at a person when they give him an instruction else he just doesn't comprehend what was said and can't carry out the task. Obviosuly in a school setting, the ability to get on with work after the teacher has set a task is important and I can see that this is contributing to Ds falling behind.

Ds would score yes for nearly all of the signs in his age group on the link you posted.

Hi Crackernut, I used to be a teacher and I always welcomed any parent who wanted to have a chat, because sometimes there are things a teacher wont see or put together that a parent just knows. A list is a good idea. Have a chat and see what the teacher says, then ask to meet again in a week or so to see what the school have come up with. I haven't read your other thread so don't know what your concerns are, but you may find they agree with you, or have something in place that could help your ds straight away. Or they may just need time to process what you say and see what they can do.

You can ask to see the senco at the next meeting, you are asking for your child to get more input from the school so this should involve them as it would put them at 'school action'. The senco may also have more ideas than the teacher, or know what else the school can do to help. And don't worry about being emotional -your ds is so lucky to have you to be his 'voice' in getting his needs met here. The emotions are part of that. I hope that helps, I'll try to find your other thread to see if there's anything else I can add.

Thank you Lazybones I am just really nervous for some reason.

This is the other thread i think.

I've been a teacher and I'd still be nervous if I had to go in like this! You're a great mum to do it.

Ah thanks Lazybones, thats nice of you to say

Part of me is hoping his teacher says 'that is exactly what I have been thinking'.

Crackernut - I have just sent DS1 teacher an email with a list of my concerns after an incident where he stole a book from the book fair and then consistently lied about it.

I have asked her to think about it, invited her to speak to other teachers and maybe put in a series of goals that we can work to. We have a parents evening next week so even if she doesn't get back to me then I can refer to my email.

I am concerned about ADHD primarily. He is 7.

Good luck

Oh I wish we had the facility to email his teacher.

She is a lovely teacher so I know she isn't going to bite my head off or anything, and I am sure she has had similar conversations with parents before so I just need to remember that.

I hope your concerns get taken seriously too Kazz, good luck.

CrackerNut, he was 8 when first dx, then reassessed twice more after that. Each showed that he had huge problems taking in instructions, ordering things, working out how to use dictionaries, basic spelling and punctuation. But some things he can do really well, so some schools were fooled into thinking he was just lazy or 'not good at those subjects'.

He was so fast on the verbal reasoning test that he broke the psychologist's computer program! But he can't spell his own name and he's now 16, bless him.

Without pushing and fighting and negotiating for the best help and finally going to a private school with a specialist unit, I think he would have become a thug with not a GCSE to his name, to be honest. He admits it himself, too.

I just looked at your other thread. Some SALT input or a Language andd communication teacher might have some good input for your son. Schools have to book in ed psychs, so it can be some time before a child is seen. Also the school needs to show that they've tried to help already. So when you go in you should definitely be looking to get an IEP out of it, so the school can plan how they'll help and show at a later stage what they've done and what progess your child has made. It also means that if he still has an IEP at the end of the year there will be continuity with his new teacher next year.

An IEP can have something on it as simple as ensuring that adults always make eye contact with him. IEPs should be reviewed on a regular basis and should have areas of concern addressed by smaller targets. So you keep returning to the area of concern but with new targets each time, if that makes sense.

Thanks Amber, sounds like you really had to fight for the right treatment then.

I was helping Ds with his homework at the weekend and my dd2 asked me why I always say 'XXX, look at me' before I asked him a question or gave an instruction.

I hadn't realised that I did it as much as I do, but it is the only way to get him to hear and understand what I say, otherwise i'd just be repeating myself over and over all day.

That sounds like exactly what we need Lazybones. If I say I feel that Ds needs an IEP then do they have to agree or can they refuse ?

I think that if you go through all your concerns then it would be the simplest way for the school to show they are dealing with them. That's all an IEP needs to be: a record of what the concern is and how they are addressing it. Then there's no guessing involved, it's all clear and progress can be measured. What that progress is and how it is measured should go down, e.g. can remember a two-part instruction x number of times a lesson/say/week. A good teacher should build this kind of activity into their planning if it is on an IEP, or there might be a bit of extra help like a Teaching Assstant who could do it by playing a game with your ds and a friend (for example - I don't know your ds or his school at all, just pulling something out of thin air to give you an idea of how it works).

But to answer your question, just push until they say yes!

Right, i'm back having spoken to Ds's teacher.

I started by saying that I was getting incresingly concerned with how behind ds is getting and how hard he is finding the work. I also said that I had noticed that his attention span seems to have vot alot worse.

She agreed that his attention span has got wosre especially in the last few wekks and said that they wondered if anything was happening at home that might have affected it (i am quite upset about that comment now tbh). I explained that nothing was going on at home.

She said that his reading had improved alot but that his biggest problem at the moment was writing as he just will not use finger spaces.
She said he knows all of his phonics and letter sounds etc. I am not sure I agree with that tbh.

I then said that I was wondering if ti was worth me speaking to the SENCO and she looked surprised, but then said that they had actually done an SEN audit on Ds and that he scored highly and basically came out as fine.
I had no idea what this audit is and what it invloves and didn't think to ask today because thb Iwas a bit shocked that it had been done and I knew nothing about it.

She said that Ds would defniatly benefit from some extra sessions in pairs with a TA practising ihs writing skills and that she will arrange this. So now he will be having extra reading and writing help.
She said she was at a bit of a loss as to why finger spaces are such a problem for ds but he just canot seem to remember to do them.

So basically,she agreed that he has significant attention span problems and needs extra reading and writing help but isn't keen to involve the senco. She did agree to speak to the senco about what I have said though.

So all in all I am a bit confused. They think he is fine but did an SEN audit on him and that came out normal even though he is behind in every area and has attention problems.

His teacher said she will keep me informed of his progress etc.

Oh I also meant to add that when I said it was starting to affect Ds's willingness to come to school, his teacher said that yes he had been getting upset alot recently.

I hadn't been told that.

She said that he has basically had alot of not very good days recently.

I'm slightly suspicious of the 'SEN audit'. What on earth is one of those??

You're entitled to a copy of it, whatever it is, so I'd ask to see the SENCO and ask that the 'SEN audit' is copied to you.

It might be worth asking IPSEA for some advice, too. www.ipsea.org.uk/
They're very good and helped me when ds was in a school that kept saying he was absolutely fine and refusing to help him.

Perhaps he just is behind at the moment? They can't all be average or above IYSMIM. Some of them have to be below average. It doesn't mean he will always be behind.

He has been behind since nursery though Melon and some of his problems have got worse.

I did wonder if I was entitled to a copy of the audit. I'd be very interested to see what he was 'tested' on and what he scored.

Yes, you are entitled to see any paperwork on your child .. it may take up to two weeks for them to supply you a copy. I would ask for it in writing too. Don't worry about starting 'a bomb ticking', this is your child - do not pussy foot around the school. Be constructive and polite - get them on your side and then you should not feel this way.