WWYD - I promise this isnt a MIL rant

[Frasersmum123]

I dont really get on with my MIL, but I promise I am not letting this cloud my judgment.

MIL works three days, and has Thursday and Friday off, she comes round to see DS and DD on a Thursday morning. The last few weeks, Step-MIL and MIL have been taking out DS and DD to give me a break. I know that tomorrow Step-MIL is busy and therefore wont be coming. I think that MIL will suggest taking DS out, but I am very worried.

She cant cope with his melt-downs. She had him on her own about three months ago and took him to a singing group (which he hated) and he spent most of his time screaming. She gave in and got Step-MIL to bring him home after narly having a melt-down herself, she has never mentioned this to me and I dont know if she knows I know.

DH says that he wont come to any harm, even if he does have a melt-down, and its good for him to go out with different people, but she just doesnt know how to handle him, and its my instinct just to say no. I know that I can explain how to do things, but she wont take my advice because she knows best.

I dont know what to do, so any advice would be great!

It's good to get any offer of help even if it's not ideal. The more time she spends with him, the more she will be forced to adapt to his needs?

Agree that trying to get her to take ds to somewhere he wants to go is a good start - if he is enjoying himself, there might be less chance of a meltdown?

My MIl wold be the same if she took dd1 - no idea how to cope, and wouldn't do it my way even if I tried ot explain.

But, I can see the value of having people to help out - is there any way that you could go out with them for a couple of times, so that she can see how you handle things first hand? My MIL would respond negatively to being told what to do, but might (and it's not something that would ever be tested as she wouldn't take dd1 out anyway, so could be way off here) see how I do things, think "hmm, that worked better than when i tried it", and try it herself, as long as I wasn't pointing out what she was doing wrong, iyswim.