Had a good playdate with DS today and its made me feel upset and sad. Am I totally mental?

[hereidrawtheline]

Went to a MN meet up this morning with DS and I was so nervous because he isnt great at all with other children and before we left he had been in meltdown refusing to put clothes on so we very nearly stayed home. But we got there and it was so surreal - he just played so happily with one little boy (NT) around his age for over an hour non stop. He didnt look for me, he didnt need me to do everything for him. He talked to the boy easily and properly. He even imitated the boy's use of language! He played with him.

I was watching from the next room & talking to the other Mum's but just had this horrible sinking feeling. What if he isnt autistic?? I mean that would normally be a good thing but as we have been through so much and finally resigned ourselves to it, its so confusing. I am confused and scared. All because a playdate didnt end in tears. I must be going mad!

What do you do with the "good" days? What do you think about them, do they mean everything that came before was wrong?

nah, i usually wait till the kama comes back round and bites back twice as hard!

You know your child and he is the same child, it was just really fortunate that he managed to find some connection with ONE child - if they meet again in all likelyhood it will be as you would expect. Enjoy that DS could play nicely and treasure it for those moments when you dread the future. Another thought: perhaps the other child is an extremely easy to get on with, laid back, understanding child? Perhaps the other child ENJOYED your DS company, it does happen you know!

glad you had a nice day

Thanks it does seem a silly thing to be upset about but I was/am. Its just different to the norm and that is probably always going to be a little unsettling, just as it would for a parent of a NT child suddenly behaving as if they were ASD. I do think the other boy liked him and he is a lovely little boy. We are going to have another playdate with him in a couple of weeks.

I can identify with that, HIDTL, you spend so much time fighting for justice and help for your DS, then you think "what if I am wrong?". DD is without Dx at the moment, but I KNOW that there is something more than just 'delay'.

I wrote her DLA forms & sent them off, saying how terrible sleep is. The next week she slept through 5 night. I felt like such a fraud. We went to the consultant appt, and I cautiously said that we had "only had 5 nights where she had slept through in the 6 weeks since seeing him last" (totally the truth, but rather than saying that the last 5 nights she had slept through). He prescribed Melatonin. I felt a fraud again.

BOY AM I GLAD - that night she reverted to her normal pattern. The 5 days was a fluke, and she is the same as she ever was.

I know exactly what you mean. Dd has a painful joint disorder which is intermittent. So there are days when she can do ballet- and days when she can't get out of bed. And intervening days when she is in a wheelchair. It is very unsettling, particularly when you are dealing with people who doubt the diagnosis.

It's hard enough coping with the disability, but not knowing and always wondering what people think of you makes it hard in a different way.

I am trying to teach myself to store up every good moment as a bonus. I think after 12 years of dealing with this I may actually permit myself to say that I do know that she is disabled, I'm the person who knows more than anyone what her life is really like, and any moment when she is not hampered by her disability is a bonus which I am allowed to treasure. So there!