echolalia is such a huge thing.
sometimes professionals like to use the term as a nice label to put on a child's speech.
dd1's speech has often been referred to as "purely echolalic". But it isn't. a lot of dd1's speech is echolalic, but it is appropriate and in context.
so we get a lot of Mr Tumble speak at the moment,
eg "it's a cow. yes, a cow. you say cow" (but this isn't pure echolalia, as Mr Tumble would say "sign" not "say", and dd1 adapts it to whatever she is looking at/playing with/talking about)
I try to divide things up into whether the language used is appropriate or not - but like you I get a bit tied in in whether it is pretend play or not
when dd2 picks up a toy car and runs it along making a brrrmmm noise, it is because she is copying us and we see it as a normal stage of her development (she is 2)
but if dd1 does te same, it is seen by professionals as her "just copying without understanding". equally, when she did the ame thing with a toy carrot I was overjoyed - not just rigidly using a toy for one purpose - flexibility! - but her then SALT jsut said it showed she had no understanding of what she was doing...
soemtimes I think that because dd1 has an ASD label, she can't do right for doing wrong.