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Parents evening - should I go?

13 replies

WedgiesMum · 25/02/2009 21:04

OK I know this is the SN topic but honest it is related. I also want to ask here as some of you know some of our story and it is really relevant to this.

DD (Y3) just come home from school with the parents evening letter. I really don't want to go and just need a bit of reassurance I'm doing the right thing.

She goes to the school DS was recently permanently excluded from for reasons relating to his AS. Our appeals have been turned down and no care has been given to DS's or DD's feelings in this. No staff have bothered to see if we or the children are ok. I currently don't even go onto the school site with DD but drop and pick her up at the gate partly to keep away from the comments/looks from parents and the staff (who incidentally I used to work with) blanking me or looking smug or even worse pitying and patronising and because someone has been reporting back to the Head things I have said privately to other parents. It makes me feel physically ill if I have to go onto the site at all.

DH has just started a new job 200 miles away and is away during the week so I would have to go on my own with both kids in tow as have no childcare in the evenings. We are moving to be with DH in the summer anyway so am not massively bothered what the school think about DD as I know she is doing well at school academically and socially.

I'm not a bad parent to not go this time am I? I have been to every single other one she has had and been really involved up until now. I really can't face it, can't face going into school, would have to leave DS in the car outside (bearing in mind he loathes the place), and just don't actually give a rats ass what they think about DD as I wouldn't trust them to sit the right eway round on a toilet after our recent dealings, and to be honest the thought of it makes me want to heave. I am ok to not go aren't I?

OP posts:
2shoes · 25/02/2009 21:13

don't go, write a note to the teacher, with your email on it, and ask them to let you know if there are any problems..
(I would do that to ease my guilt)

WedgiesMum · 25/02/2009 21:21

Thanks 2shoes was thinking about sending a note. You can tell I feel guilty can't you as I made lots of justifications

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donkeyderby · 25/02/2009 21:26

Good idea to send a note.

Could you let the board of Governers know - in full - just why the place makes you heave the moment your DD leaves, and include some positive ideas for change?

MannyMoeAndJack · 25/02/2009 21:26

I'm tempted to say just ignore the letter and don't even send a note to say you won't be attending....but I guess that's easy for me to say...

So, I would write a few terse lines to say that you won't be attending. No need to give a reason.

coppertop · 25/02/2009 21:30

I wouldn't go either. The lack of childcare alone would be reason enough for me. It's a stress that you don't need.

LOL at not trusting them to sit the right way round on a toilet. I've never heard that one before but I love it.

TotalChaos · 25/02/2009 21:31

Nope. Agree with MMJ - don't even bother to justify why you aren't attending.

WedgiesMum · 25/02/2009 21:46

Thanks! Makes me feel beeter about it! [relieved type emoticon]

(donkeyderby - think the Governors are more than well aware of my feelings as several other Mum's have had words with the Chair - not that I asked - to say how disgusted they are at our treatment)

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Tclanger · 25/02/2009 22:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RaggedRobin · 25/02/2009 23:22

agree with everyone else. you must be absolutely delighted to be moving!

WedgiesMum · 26/02/2009 17:25

Can't wait to move!

However have now found a school to take DS until we go and they are LOVELY! They have been magnificent with him and whilst we are only doing a few hours a week they are handling him really brilliantly. Will be a wrench to leave them!!!!!

OP posts:
Tclanger · 26/02/2009 17:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ICANDOTHAT · 26/02/2009 21:02

I understand the way you feel ... i really do. I went through a stage where I used to feel physically sick walking up the path to my ds's school. But, I am thinking a note or email would allow your dd's teacher to give you feed back on her progress, how else will you know if there is any good news or issues that need to be addressed.

The fact that you have no-one to sit the kids that evening is a good enough reason. Good luck.

WedgiesMum · 26/02/2009 21:36

TBH ICANDOTHAT I don't want to know what they think they have betrayed our trust so badly and shown complete lack of judgement in anything to do with DS that I won't believe what they say anyway. I know she is doing well academically (I am a Higher Level Teaching Assistant and know what I am looking for IYSWIM) and she is in the top set for everything at school and copes brilliantly with it all. Socially she is great too and I know from friends who volunteer in the year group she is still a very good girl in class.

And for coppertop - I wouldn't trust them to find their own bums with their hands!

Have a veritable store of those sayings!!!!

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