DD with aspergers is completely hooked on computers

[briarrose]

Hi all

My dilemma is this, my DD has aspergers and is completely addicted to computers, she is computer mad, it really does take up most of her life. The thing is, she has just hit puberty and just wants to spend every waking minute hooked to a computer, even listening to computer music in the car. Just recently she has become very withdrawn, dare I say it, depressed, when she is not near a computer. We went for a family day out on saturday and she didn't join in, barely even spoke to anyone. DH and I decided to really cut down her computer time, and the following day, having not been on the computer the previous day either, she was more or less fine. Then yesterday back to normal, moody and withdrawn so we had a chat and cut back her computer time further, although we made it clear it wasn't a punishment. This resulted in DD just completely sobbing, now she isn't a tantrumy child, doesn't perform to get her own way, she was generally heartbroken. Now, I am relating her obsession to her aspergers and I do think to remove it completely would be counterproductive, but I need to do something. Should I ban it for a few days, would that really mess her up? Or due to her aspergers should I indulge her? I just want her to be happy, but like any aspergers child, happiness is never overtly expressed.
Advice would be really appreciated, thanks.

Hi my daughter is the same although we dont have a dx for her yet.
Because its a family computor she has to take turns but is a very visual learner so i have a kitchen timer and set it for 30 mins when the timer goes off, she has to save what she is doing then move on to something else until her little sis has a go, she usually gets engrossed in what she's doing then and forgets about it for a while. what i do might not necessary work for you, but sometimes worth a try.

DS1 doesn't have an AS dx but has definite traits and is also very computer -obsessed. We ration his time on the computer/DS - 2 x 30 mins on weekdays and 4 x 30 minutes on Sat and Sun. He has a timer and more or less monitors it himself. During holidays we let him have unlimited time, within reason, and as long as it doesn't interfere with family activities. We've also talked to him about why it's important to have a break, do different activities etc. and tried to help him to recognise the physical signs of having done too much (sore eyes, feeling lethargic etc) It doesn't always work and we get a bit of 'Just one more minute pleeeease' but it's generally OK.

The computer is slowly becoming one of ds's obsessions too. Would it bother you less if it was something else? ...it's just that we too get a bit jittery about his computer obsession and have to remind ourselves that it's just the same as the other things he loves to do. He is also obsessed with books and lego...i try and compare it with these and try not to stress about it too much.
The things she will be doing on the computer will be immensely important to her...that is probably why she is sobbing and upset.Ds did this once when i broke up some of his permanent lego display (honestly the floor underneath had not been hoovered for about a year!) despite lots of warning and preparation for it.
It was like he was personally hurt... real grief...it was awful
I don't think you should ban it for a few days ...that will really upset her..and will not make any sense either. She hasn't done anything wrong has she? Just cut it down if you are concerned that the computer time is expanding to the detriment to other things.
Tbh though...i'm at the stage where i am really going with the obsessions. There is a really interesting video by Temple Grandin on youtube (i'll try to find it in a minute)about the importance of taking their obsessions seriously with a view to future careers.Maybe you have a budding bill gates on your hands !

I'm quite relieved to hear that others have this issue, actually - DS loves the computer and I feel a bit weak for letting it take over. Even when we go out he'll start asking about when he can get back on it, or first thing in the morning. I have tried getting a timer but he'll often play long games so getting him off it can be very difficult - I tried using a timer and he'd get very aggressive about logging off. There was even a stage last year when he would get up in the middle of the night and spend all night playing on it when everyone was asleep! I had to set up a password on the login to stop that happening.

I'm going to try looking at software which is a bit more educational so that at least he's learning some skills. Also, at the moment his school are using 'computer time' as a reward to get him to complete literacy (which he hates) so it might be worth building it into a reward scheme for behaviour?

Hi, i have a 5 year old dd with aspergers who is addicted to the pc, she started playing on there at 2 years old, learn't to type when she was 2.5 . We have cut back the time she spends on there as she has night-mares about the pc braking and not working, she's also getting very competitive on the games and gets upset when she doesn't win.